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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What do you regret not doing?

143 replies

jennie0412 · 26/10/2020 16:38

Just that really.

OP posts:
CeramicGuineaPig · 26/10/2020 16:41

Approaching more boys that I fancied at university, rather than passively accepting the ones that fancied me. I am reading Rodham and "Hilary" describes how until she met "Bill", she was rejected by all the blokes she fancied and was only able to have relationships with the ones that fancied her. I was like that except I didn't even approach the boys I liked. Now I realise it wasn't such a bit deal and if they hadn't been into me I would just be in the same place I was before, and if they had then it would have been nice!

ssd · 26/10/2020 16:43

I regret not being able to teach myself to stop worrying.

Sunnydaysstillhere · 26/10/2020 16:44

Going it alone with dc2. Persuaded to give abusive bf time to get his head around a baby by his dps.
He was a twat our whole relationship.. Wasted years....

loutypips · 26/10/2020 16:46

I regret not saying good night to my mum the night she died. She looked so peacefully asleep that I didn't want to disturb her. She died later that night
I regret not taking more photos and videos.
I regret not telling her I loved her more often.

TheSandman · 26/10/2020 16:58

Letting AIDS scare me back into the closet in the 80s and stepping back from a relationship that was edging towards not being platonic.

en0lagay · 26/10/2020 17:05

Seeing a friend more before she died.

Stripyhoglets1 · 26/10/2020 17:08

Travelling when I was unencumbered by dependants - much as I love them all they are not travellers!

RonObvious · 26/10/2020 17:12

Going to see Nina Simone in concert, when she was in Brighton. There was no reason for me not to go, I just didn't get my act together to book tickets.

yearinyearout · 26/10/2020 17:15

Being too sensible, wish I'd let go a bit more and had fun instead of always considering the consequences.

Wish I'd travelled more before having the kids.

Wish I'd got more career advice and got myself established doing a job I was capable of instead of settling for being a housewife and finding a part time job to fit around it.

topcat2014 · 26/10/2020 17:16

Taking a year off work when the little boy we were adopting came to us.

The adoption didn't work out, and I think this could have made a difference

DaddysGirlforlife · 26/10/2020 17:19

I regret not taking my education seriously when I was younger. Now I'm in a shit job!

RunningThrough · 26/10/2020 17:22

@topcat2014

Taking a year off work when the little boy we were adopting came to us.

The adoption didn't work out, and I think this could have made a difference

That must have been so tough Flowers

I regret not pushing myself out my comfort zone more often.

Zenithbear · 26/10/2020 17:23

Put more into a pension, dp says the same and we'd be retired now instead of possibly next year. I prioritised property which has obviously reaped well and wanted to show my dc the as much of world as I could instead which was amazing but I also wasted a fair bit on god knows what.

coffeelover3 · 26/10/2020 17:24

@topcat2014

Taking a year off work when the little boy we were adopting came to us.

The adoption didn't work out, and I think this could have made a difference

what happened topcat? how come it didn't 'work out' Confused
picklecustard · 26/10/2020 17:26

I wish I’d been more confident as a teenager, I look back and realise how young and free I was and that there was nothing wrong with how I looked. I wish I’d made the most of that time.

bluedeb47 · 26/10/2020 17:28

Not making enough effort with my dad

Saw a text message on his phone he had sent to someone , it said that he had seen me and I hadn't spoke much about my trip ( I had been on holiday for a week ) and that there was no mention of Father's Day and then he put a sad face.

I had text him shortly after asking if he wanted to do anything for Father's Day and he had said it was ok

We had a difficult relationship but I wish I would have just made more of an effort that night .

He went into hospital with chest pain a few hours later and died 2 days later.

bearlyactive · 26/10/2020 17:28

Doing karaoke at my cousin's wedding when I was twelve. It seems like such a small thing but it would have helped me beat my phobia of singing in public (or anywhere that isn't my bathroom) and it might have helped me take down some of my own social barricades as well.

OrigamiPenguinArmy · 26/10/2020 17:34

Not answering the phone to my grandmother. She had been in a care home for a couple of months and she hated it. She’d ring me two or three times a day to tell me all her complaints and how unhappy she was, so when she phoned yet again I ignored it because I felt like I had neither the time or emotional energy to talk to her. She died that night.

Echobelly · 26/10/2020 17:34

Slightly regret not taking a year off and spending some of it in Israel before things kicked off really badly - I just wanted to get on with university at the time. TBF, if I had I might have ended up paying tuition fees, which I just missed.

I wish I'd thought a bit more about career while at uni and maybe joined the student newspaper or something, which might have reduced the faffing and need for a post grad diploma to finally get me a job

FrankRattlesnake · 26/10/2020 17:37

I regret not going on a school trip to Poland in the early 90’s before things changed. I was worried my parents couldn’t come get me if there was a problem.

I also regret spending years of my life dieting and thinking I was fat. Looking back at the photos I was absolutely fine. Started with an Aunt telling me I was fat when I was 10 - made a huge impression on my life including wearing black. I now don’t care and wear colour quite a lot!

BurningRose · 26/10/2020 17:39

Hmm I don't have many regrets as I do most things I want to. However, I wish to slow down now as I've worked so hard and am pretty tired!

thepeopleversuswork · 26/10/2020 17:43

I regret not being more adventurous with finding a career. I have always done the sensible thing, the thing which looked best on my CV, rather than taking some time out to figure out what I really wanted to do,

It hasn’t served me badly as I am established in a well paid and reasonably interesting career but I always feel there’s a more creative side of me which never had the chance to come out.

Definitely a first world problem but something I think about nonetheless.

Original poster
jennie0412 · 26/10/2020 17:45

I'm so sorry for the people who have experienced losses SadFlowers

Mine is that I have never joined any dance or activity club, and so while I would absoloutely love to dance and become a professional in the future, I probably never could Sad

OP posts:
ScrapThatThen · 26/10/2020 17:45

I wish I had gone to my childhood friend's wedding. She had a child free wedding a very long drive away from my (and her) home and on my dd's 1st birthday. It would have meant leaving her for 5 hours or more with a family member who hadn't looked after her before and I was too PFB but I wish I had been there for my friend.

SpeedofaSloth · 26/10/2020 17:46

Declining a particular job interview in 2004.