Sleeping with a married man

[Singleuser65789]

So for full disclosure I know I am unreasonable, disgusting and one of the worst human beings out there. Any insult you throw at me I have already thought about it myself but feel free to throw them my way anyway.

So I am currently sleeping with a married man. We are in the same work place but we do not work closely together. He does not live with his wife most of the year due to work, he lives where we both work as do I. I have absolutely no feelings for this man. I do not wish to have a relationship with him, I do not wish to spend any time outside of work with him unless obviously we are sleeping together. The problem is the sex is absolutely amazing which is literally the only reason I haven’t stopped seeing him. I feel awful because I have been cheated on including by my ex-husband so I know what I am doing would destroy lives but I just can’t stop. I have absolutely no self control but at the same time I’ve completely detached myself from the situation and in my head it is purely sex. How do I stop this?

P.S I am not a troll or being in goady in any shape or form I just need a kick up the arse by someone else to tell me how disgusting I am.

You can stop, you just don’t want to. Don’t dress it up.

I know I am unreasonable, disgusting and one of the worst human beings out there

Well you said it, but he’s worse as he’s the married one.

Think about how you felt when cheated on .. if that does not give you a kick to leave him nothing will .. you have first hand experience 🤷🏻‍♀️

Honestly, if it wasn't you it world be someone else

How do I stop this?

By not having sex with this married man anymore - obviously 🙄

Put your energy into finding someone else and you’ll forget him quickly enough for someone who’s available for a proper relationship.

This is sadly true. But have some dignity. It's not that hard to get a single guy just for good sex. What if you get attached? Your fucked then. What if work finds out, your fired. What if the wife kicks the fuck out of you. What if future partners don't take you seriously cause you don't respect yourself or marriage. Don't be that woman it's so trashy and desperate. 10 years on my friends still just the side chick and it's so pathetic, not to mention heartbreaking what she's missed out on.

Why do you feel that you're not worth a full and complete relationship with an entire man? Why do you feel you're only worth scraps of a relationship from part of a man as and when he's able to sneak around and give them to you?

Even if its only sex you want, you can find a complete and fulfilling sexual relationship with a man who finds you sexy rather than one who mainly finds the sneaking around sexy.

How to stop it? Text him now tell him if he ever messages you, calls you, whatever you'll tell his wife. He'll keep away from you and you won't have to worry about wanting to contact him.

Get some counselling, build up your self esteem, get a new hobby and use up all your time on that so you're not tempted to message him.

What's the point of your post? You say you can't stop? That's BS just walk. He's the married one betraying his wife no doubt he'll still be doing it after you split up.

@stackemhigh

You can stop, you just don’t want to. Don’t dress it up.

I know I am unreasonable, disgusting and one of the worst human beings out there

Well you said it, but he’s worse as he’s the married one.

Yes you are, but what goes around does come around my love.

😇 All best.

You stop it by not having sex with a married man. It’s not hard.

How do you stop?

You just stop.

Kick this nonsense cold-turkey now.

And if he's doing you, who else is he fucking with?

Of course you are being goady. If you truly realised the hurt you are inflicting surely you wouldn't do it?!

@Frdd

You stop it by not having sex with a married man. It’s not hard.

If it wasn't hard, sex would be impossible 😂😂😂

Sorry

All your work colleagues probably know? (even if you think they don’t!) have you told your employer your dating?
It could adversely affect your career, you’ll be the one they blame, the home wrecker, not him.

Have you had an actual relationship since your exh? Is this a case of avoiding allowing yourself to be open to a real relationship because you fear getting hurt again? Are you trying to prove you are a horrible person not worthy of love? Or punish all women because of the ow who 'took' your exh? Or trying to prove you are actually better than that ow by becoming one too?

It's rare to have the ow insist there are no feelings, and not to blame it on love and feelings that were overpowering.

Tell his wife.

If that were my husband I wouldnt care if you carried on or not, but Id damn well want to know it had happened.

You stop it by not doing it. It's not difficult You just don't do it.

But it seems that you don't want to stop. You want to come here and have everyone give you a verbal kicking. Then you can sit back and think how horrible other women are and that his wife probably deserves it because she's horrible too.

How do I stop this?

By closing your legs and getting some self respect.

@Stantons

Honestly, if it wasn't you it world be someone else

That doesn't make it ok.

Of course you can stop. You choose not to.

FFS, if I can give up and recover from a joint alcohol and benzo addiction without any help you can give up this man's penis. Find some self respect.

Being shamed by us or yourself will not help you. It might help you stop now but the vacuous hole inside left by the hurt you place will drive you to addiction of another sort.
Feed yourself with non ego love, so self compassion: tell yourself that you are good enough without outside factors will stop you doing this but it will not be instant.
Sorry for the psycho analytics but this is what it boils down to most likely.

The decision is yours, take some responsibility for your fuck ups.

Erm when he says "wanna meet up for sex?", say "no."