Page 5 | Sleeping with a married man

year5teacher · 25/10/2020 18:08

You can stop, you just don’t want to, not sure what you want anyone else to say.
You don’t want to stop because you care more about have good sex than the feelings of another real-life person.
If you’re comfortable with that then crack on. I wouldn’t be.

KarmaStar · 25/10/2020 20:26

So,having had your replies,has it helped?are you going to stop having sex with another woman's husband?

Cadent · 25/10/2020 20:27

@CakeRequired

People like you always come looking for sympathy.

Exactly. Wants to be seen as sweet and innocent, almost forced into it by the evil man who is able to trick her into constantly shagging him. No, you're just not capable of saying no because you don't give a shit.

I agree @CakeRequired

Halliehallie9828 · 25/10/2020 20:36

You didn’t make the vows. He did.. find someone else to swap him for.

Yesmate · 25/10/2020 20:44

You can stop. You are choosing not to. Horrible.

Yesmate · 25/10/2020 20:46

OP, your reply to @SoPanny is ridiculous. A mistake is once, you have done it numerous times abs are continuing to do so. You are the worst sort of woman.

MustardMitt · 25/10/2020 20:47

There’s like, a million and one men that are single that you’ll gel with sexually. It’s pretty gross that you’re putting having an orgasm above anything else. He won’t stop because he’s a pig, you should unless you’re happy to be held to the same standard.

catx1606 · 25/10/2020 20:47

"Soz if you’ve never made a mistake"

Once is a mistake, to repeat it is not a mistake. You known what you're doing is wrong yet still doing it. If you truly felt that disgusted with yourself, you would be doing all you can to stop doing it and you're not. What makes it even worse is that you know how it feels yet STILL continue to do it

TheWashingMachine · 25/10/2020 20:59

Honestly people are so nasty. This man made a commitment to his wife, you are not responsible for his infidelity, he is.

joanwinifred · 25/10/2020 21:07

@Singleuser65789

To the posters that have actually given me advice thank you, especially to *@SoPanny*. That thread was something I needed to read. To the posters that have thrown insults that is fine I knew that would happen and I accept them however to the poster who said to “close your legs” that is not a insult, that is just you reverting back to shitty way to try and insult a woman and it says more about your character than it does mine... Soz if you’ve never made a mistake.

You're insulting his wife so don't get on your high horse about not insulting other women when you're knowingly cheating.

Thermo · 25/10/2020 21:14

@SoPanny

dramatic much?

I don’t think the possibility of a woman wanting to take her own life after discovering adultery should be viewed so flippantly as dramatic.
It happens. Adultery can cause severe mental health issues that can lead to people wishing to take their own lives.

OP - I’m serious, what you are participating in could lead to some awful mental health consequences for the innocent party. Get the fuck away from it. It’s cruel. You should know best. Don’t become what you suffered

paintmywholehousecobweb · 25/10/2020 21:15

I know someone who was the other woman all her life. In her 70's now. No kids. No one to spend evenings or holidays with.
It's just so sad.
Don't undervalue yourself.
You can have great sex with other people.
Just stop 🤷🏻‍♀️

eatthatbueno · 25/10/2020 21:16

[quote Thermo]@SoPanny

dramatic much?

I don’t think the possibility of a woman wanting to take her own life after discovering adultery should be viewed so flippantly as dramatic.
It happens. Adultery can cause severe mental health issues that can lead to people wishing to take their own lives.

OP - I’m serious, what you are participating in could lead to some awful mental health consequences for the innocent party. Get the fuck away from it. It’s cruel. You should know best. Don’t become what you suffered[/quote]
I agree. Not dramatic in the slightest. Can't imagine loving someone so much and having them do that to me, would definitely ruin my mental health.

Thisismylife1 · 25/10/2020 21:26

Honestly, don’t be so hard on yourself.

Exmarital affairs have been going on forever and will continue to do so. You’re fortunate that you say you don’t have feelings for this man, other than sex, although I question whether that’s really the case as you are struggling to give this up. It won’t just be the sex, it will be the connection, the escape, the lack of responsibility....

Ultimately you need to work out what will make you happy. It may well not end well, as all interaction when the parties aren’t on a even footing rarely do.

But dragging yourself through the coals by an exceptionally judgy mumsnet crowd is no good for your self esteem. This is clearly complex. Be kind to you...

If you want to end it you need to block him and if you want a purely sexual relationship, then there are loads of websites which have amazing (single) men who want something similar. Go find them and have great sex and forget him..

Mother2princess · 25/10/2020 21:32

Get some self respect and close your legs disgusting

Figgyboa · 25/10/2020 22:28

@Dugsbollox

How do I stop this?

By closing your legs and getting some self respect.

....couldn't have said it better myself.

Hailtomyteeth · 25/10/2020 22:30

Look up 'self compassion' and try it.

ShebaShimmyShake · 25/10/2020 23:56

Well he's the shit, his marriage is his responsibility. But why exactly do you want to start a masochistic thread inviting people to kick you? You apparently already hate yourself for doing it, so why will anything we say here make any difference, if your self loathing for it isn't enough to make you stop? Do you think that if you invite abuse for it, it somehow serves as absolution so you can keep doing it?

I'd ask yourself what it is about this sex that you don't think you could get from anyone else and what it makes you feel that you don't get anywhere else. And I wouldn't look to getting an online kicking for any reason. It's actually kind of self indulgent.

TheStoic · 26/10/2020 03:00

At the end of the day, OP, all you have is your character.

Is this the person you want to be?

Anordinarymum · 26/10/2020 03:07

@Singleuser65789

So for full disclosure I know I am unreasonable, disgusting and one of the worst human beings out there. Any insult you throw at me I have already thought about it myself but feel free to throw them my way anyway.

So I am currently sleeping with a married man. We are in the same work place but we do not work closely together. He does not live with his wife most of the year due to work, he lives where we both work as do I. I have absolutely no feelings for this man. I do not wish to have a relationship with him, I do not wish to spend any time outside of work with him unless obviously we are sleeping together. The problem is the sex is absolutely amazing which is literally the only reason I haven’t stopped seeing him. I feel awful because I have been cheated on including by my ex-husband so I know what I am doing would destroy lives but I just can’t stop. I have absolutely no self control but at the same time I’ve completely detached myself from the situation and in my head it is purely sex. How do I stop this?

P.S I am not a troll or being in goady in any shape or form I just need a kick up the arse by someone else to tell me how disgusting I am.

Do you actually want to stop OP?

Theperfectpartner · 26/10/2020 08:02

Life is short. Great sex is hard to come by since it is an interesting mixture of the mental, the physical & the pheromones, which is a rarer blend than one would hope for. The only thing which is bad here IMO is the break of trust between your lover and his DW, if indeed there are no ethical issues at work given your status as distant colleagues. This is his (and her) problem more than yours and despite the advice you will find on here, nobody, let me repeat NOBODY, can understand a relationship from the outside. It could be OW falls into the don't ask don't tell category and you will create misery by discussing it. On the other hand, OW maybe is ok that he has found a lover as long as it only limits itself to sex and could in fact strengthen their relationship rather than weaken it ( eg she may suffer from low libido and is fearful that he might leave her anyway.) Maybe a polyamorous solution is possible. Worth discussing as grown ups, but maybe the problem will resolve itself with time anyway - job change, C-19 remote working etc will bring it to a natural conclusion and this will just remain as a nice bit of fun in your respective lives. Many MNers aren't comfortable with the cognitive dissonance that adultery is universally condemned and denied yet universally practised, probably rather like masturbation was in the early 20th century. However, there are signs that we are growing up and realising that sex, love and marriage don't have to remain Victorian constructs for evermore. A(wo)men

MustardMitt · 26/10/2020 11:03

Not really sure what you wanted from that thread @Singleuser65789. You want to know ‘how to stop’ and admit ‘any insult you can throw at me I’ve thought about myself’. So you advertise for people to tell you you’re horrible but then your only other post is to defend yourself and your actions?!

Come on now, you’re a grown woman. You just block this man’s number and don’t get into bed with him again. It’s not that hard to not sleep with someone again.

Janegrey333 · 26/10/2020 13:19

People who post about this sort of thing are just drama queens. It makes them feel wonderful to have people discussing their little lives.