AIBU to ask how you prepared pre-TTC?

[baabyshaark]

Name changed because I'm privacy paranoid :)

Just wondering what you did before TTC that you felt helped you out (either physically, emotionally, financially etc etc). I'd be TTC in a year, maybe a bit more, in order to get another year of Uni done and improve finances first. Any advice helps, particularly stuff I can be doing now, though of course I'll take pre-natals and the like 3 months before TTC.

Cheers! x

@baabyshaark well it was actually the night before the funeral I got drunk because I was so upset, and didn't even think about it. I was 39 and figured it was sooo unlikely, haha. In the end it was quite nice because it gave everyone something to look forward to. Make sure you do all the things you want to do that you can't do with kids though, that's something I find a bit difficult sometimes, looking back.

Thank you! But please god not twins 🤣

I was really sad at first when I gave up on the hope of a home birth. I’d had this vision of a very serene, non-medicalised home birth experience and I really liked the idea (it helped that I live very close to my local hospital and had such a supportive midwife). Whereas now I feel like I’m on this path to a much more invasive and assisted experience - not only the GD, but the baby is in Breech so if it doesn’t turn by itself they won’t try and turn it (because of the size) and it will mean a c-section.

I still struggle with it some days because it feels like a lot of unknowns and some decisions taken out of my hands. But I’m learning as much as I can about inductions and labouring with GD, so I can continue to make informed choices. Ultimately I know that once the baby is born I will be less invested in exactly how they arrived, so I’m trying to keep some perspective about it!

The lockdown aspect is shit, but at least for now my health board have been great and are allowing partners for scans and the whole of labour. I feel so desperately sorry for women who have been deprived of this. Hopefully things won’t get worse before Christmas.

@Feetupteashot Great list! I'll bash out my answers though sorry if it's totally useless info to anyone else 😆

Childcare or SAHM I'd be quite happy to be a SAHM if the opportunity presents itself (though please let's not make that a topic of divide). I had a working mum growing up, and his mum was a mix. He grew up in in Poland in poverty whereas I grew up relatively middle class, but I think we have similar values - e.g. whatever is best for the bub we should try and accommodate.

Finances We've survived on the bare bones before, so it might be uncomfortable temporarily (if we don't get enough saved) but we'd hack at it and I think make it work.

Unwanted stuff This is a good one, hadn't thought of this! Need a massive clean out of clothes - if anyone wants some, feel free to PM me 😌

Health Need to exercise, need to completely quit smoking and need to cut down on the alcohol (preferably stop). Definitely some big concerns but I'll just keep etching away at them slowly, I think.

Also "try not to worry about it too much but have sex regularly" just sounds like the sex advice I got from my friends in high school 😆😆
Thank you though, very helpful list with some stuff I hadn't necessarily thought of. xx

@Tootletum I'm sorry for your loss but congratulations on your gain? That's definitely a story to tell at your child's wedding!

@LavaCake Are you scared of a C-section? I've got a fear of needles, hospitals and sedation so why-o-why I'm considering childbirth I have no idea 😂 I'm sorry the birth you wanted isn't on the cards (for this baby anyway). Take advantage of the free drugs and do a bit of husband shouting, you'll feel better 😂xx

@baabyshaark yeah it is and to be honest I thought the same, I thought it would take a few months max but that was definitely my naivety. I did loads of research in to it after that and realised that it can a lot longer than I realised. Neither of us have any issues we know of, both healthy, young and active and it's taken us 2 years and a MC to get here which along the way I've found out is actually really common.

Yeah I would definitely give them a try, we never normally used lube either but they definitely help make the right 'enviroment' down there!

Best of luck🤞