AIBU to ask how you prepared pre-TTC?

[baabyshaark]

Name changed because I'm privacy paranoid :)

Just wondering what you did before TTC that you felt helped you out (either physically, emotionally, financially etc etc). I'd be TTC in a year, maybe a bit more, in order to get another year of Uni done and improve finances first. Any advice helps, particularly stuff I can be doing now, though of course I'll take pre-natals and the like 3 months before TTC.

Cheers! x

Saved a couple £ks stopped taking my pill and started taking folic acid.

Got married
Bought a house
Saved over 5k for mat leave
Ensured I was in my job over 2 years so I was entitled to mat pay
No debts
Took folic acid
Set up the nursery and had it all sorted before baby
Had a lot of couple time together and a lot of 'me time'- I went on mat leave at 29weeks because I wanted to chill out and just be me because I knew it would never be possible again (it was the best!!)

I think you are limited in what sort of planning you can do. Things don’t often go to plan. I didn’t do anything in particular. I didn’t change my lifestyle in any way, though wasn’t generally a big drinker or partying type. I didn’t take supplements before or after (couldn’t keep them down as I had hyperemesis). I wish I’d got married before, only because we’ve since split and I got the raw end of the deal. Don’t wait too long. I was a “senior” mother and high risk for miscarriage, and did experience two before my successful pregnancy.

@Pickypolly Congratulations on your DC(s) though, that must have been such a joyful moment! Good luck to you and them :) xx

@OrangeSlices998 I had a bit of a lazy gap year where I put on a lot of weight (and I think lockdown being stuck inside hasn't helped). I'm looking into some at-home workouts as the gym prospects aren't looking so good at the mo. What was your preferred exercise method, if you don't mind me asking for losing weight / getting healthier?

Definitely doing as much as I can of "fun freedom" stuff and will probably have some bigger birthday bashes this year (Covid allowing of course) where we can spend a bit more money before a lot of it goes to parenting stuff! xx

Possibly an odd question, but how do they work and how often do you need to wash them?

The ones we’ve gone for are in two parts - the inner, which is basically a terry cloth but made of bamboo which you fold and pin into a nappy shape. That part goes in a bag to be washed every time you change the nappy. Then there is a waterproof outer which only needs changed every day. We have enough of the inners to endure we only need to wash them every 2 days, but if you were prepared to wash every day you could get away with fewer because bamboo is quick drying. There are loads of options though, for shaped inners and all in ones and all sorts! The nappy lady has a questionnaire which asks about your views on price / washing / organic fabrics etc and then makes recommendations based on your answers. You also get a discount on the nappies if you go on to order from her website.

We brushed our teeth.

@Halloween4 That's definitely true - I'm trying to let all the natural bits sort themselves out, I just like controlling what I can control (or try to ). Sorry to hear about the hyperemesis- did anything help or make symptoms easier?

I'm on the younger side so fortunately don't have age-related risks yet, but fortunately have some of the financial security of marriage - and love of course xx

@lavacake Oh that's so interesting, I didn't realise they had multiple parts (though I suppose it makes sense as cleaning a nappy every few hours would get very irritating haha). I'll definitely look into the Nappy Lady! Do they have a long lifespan? e.g. is it an investment you'd need to make with every kid, or do they tend to last a long time?

Sorry not sure why I'm treating you like Google, just interested in all the options (particularly those that are a bit kinder on our ecosystem).
Thanks for the discount idea though, I'll have a look and weigh it up on the mental pros and cons :) xx

@JesusInTheCabbageVan Always a pleasant precursor! :)

That’s ok, I relied a lot on the advice of others so happy to help!

I think they have enough lifespan for a couple of kids at least - you see them sold second hand quite often, and everyone says you can use them for more than one child (which of course makes them much more cost effective and super environmentally friendly compared to disposables!)

Went to all the festivals, all the nights out I could - did heaps of travelling ! Was gonna wait one more year as was meant to have 2 big holidays and Glastonbury this year - obviously cancelled so just decided to crack on - I’m now 22 weeks pregnant!

Haven’t saved heaps in prep for baby but I have a really good maternity pay package at work so not too worried about a drop in income!

We still rent - but have our deposit there almost at the amount we need to buy next year.

And also I read your post about why bothering losing weight when you’re put it all on whilst pregnant. Firstly you’ll almost certainly have a better pregnancy and secondly everyone I know who was slim just lost the weight and put very little on. You need to change your mindset. Enjoy your life now

@LavaCake Yeah I'm thinking I'll maybe stick to slightly more gender neutral clothes as it seems more sustainable long-term and I think hand-me-downs are cute if my DH and I manage to have more than one child (fingers crossed). The nappy idea seems great though, good to hear of things that don't contribute to as much waste! Though I will admit splashing out £300 in a one-er scares me, but I suppose it's actually better long term. I guess that's why I like to preplan, gives me a lot of time to factor chunky expenses ahead of time! Xx

@baabyshaark well I say that... I'm assuming we did

@Heyahun Congratulations on the pregnancy! How are you feeling?

I had some concerts and trips away lined up this year but obviously that didn't go to plan - if things start looking up in relation to lockdown I might start booking some stuff again early next year. It's not the vital distinguishing factor between having kids or putting them off, but I guess it would be nice to strengthen the relationship and have some fun pre-baby!

@Hermionegraingerrules I understand, yeah. I will try and lose some weight, I was just being a bit flippant and jokey about the pregnancy weight stuff. The health of my child would matter a lot more to me than if I looked nice in a bikini, for example.

I'm enjoying my life now (actually quite a lot) I'm just also prepping and getting excited for big milestones that are coming up soonish in the grand scheme of things!

@JesusInTheCabbageVan Did or did not, it seemed to work!

Sorry if this has been mentioned earlier, if you are on the pill/coil I would come of it/get it taken out ASAP. It took a long time for my periods to get back to a regular cycle when we started thinking about ttc. It might not happen with you but I wasn’t expecting it.

I tracked my cycle and used cheapie ovulation stocks for about 6 months before and me and my husband both took conception tablets about 3 months before.Conceived first month on honeymoon 😊 We also used pre-seed. Good luck.

Start saving!

@baabyshaark thanks - yeah I’m fine thanks feel so well (after feeling like death for the first 14 weeks) It was grand though as working from home so no commute and could grab a quick nap on my lunch break when I wasn’t feeling great - ideal time to be pregnant in a way haha!
Yeah I was initially a bit sad about not having that last glasto or big holiday - but then I thought about it more and sure I can still go to Glastonbury in the future and get my mum to take the baby for a few days - also we plan to just take the baby to Japan with us now next year (if travel restrictions are lifted) won’t be the same - but it is possible to still do all these things!!

Must say in regards the planning - I’ve done very little - haven’t bought a thing yet (we might be moving soon so don’t want to buy stuff and Then have to drag to new house on moving day!)

We chose the buggy we want and cot we want

I’m getting a car seat, bottle steraliser and baby carrier from a friend

Will be bying mostly second hand clothes / a friend has a 6month old and is happy to give me all her newborn clothes so that’s great!

Il prob go down the reusable cheeky wipes and nappy route too (I can’t handle all the landfill from disposables)

Don’t worry too much or plan too much - you’ve loads of time once your pregnant to figure that all out

baabyshaark re hyperemesis, no, but I didn’t want to take meds as they aren’t without risk, and after two losses it was a risk I wouldn’t take. I threw up multiple times a day for 9 whole months and had a two week break before baby was born! I didn’t try to have another after that.

*Sticks

I'm shamelessly following this... thanks for the thread, it's great!

Unless you have a medical condition or a family history of fertility problems then sort your career and finances out first. You need to ensure you can support yourself and any child(ren) if your relationship falls apart. Then ensure you are healthy and exercising regularly.

Bought house
Moved to an employer that’s family friendly and offered generous maternity package
Saved
Took folic acid before Ttc

To add to the above poster - I got super into home work outs for about 4months before I got pregnant and I had been cycling to work daily before lockdown - I swear that’s part of the reason I’m having such an easy pregnant - I’ve not put on much weight - just have a nice beat bump and I have a lot of energy! Also I’m still managing to keep the work outs up now (although not as intense) and I’m still cycling my bike everywhere as I already had a level of fitness!

Deffo make sure you are in a good financial position- a job that offers enhanced maternity pay is a godsend - I now don’t have to worry at all about money while I’m off

Following as I'm wondering this myself- planning on TTC next summer so want to be as prepared as possible. I'm currently drinking a lot of wine to make up for 9 lost months and planning on folic acid but that's about it!