AIBU to ask how you prepared pre-TTC?

[baabyshaark]

Name changed because I'm privacy paranoid :)

Just wondering what you did before TTC that you felt helped you out (either physically, emotionally, financially etc etc). I'd be TTC in a year, maybe a bit more, in order to get another year of Uni done and improve finances first. Any advice helps, particularly stuff I can be doing now, though of course I'll take pre-natals and the like 3 months before TTC.

Cheers! x

I can’t emphasise enough being aware of your company’s maternity pay in advance, and moving to a new job before having a baby if you can. So many people on here seem to get pregnant and then find out all they get is statutory and then freak out about £.

@baabyshaark that’s very true, the big advantage of you starting to plan so early is you can prepare for chunkier expenses!

I decided not to find out the sex of my baby so everything I’ve bought is very gender neutral. If we’re lucky enough to have a second I will hopefully get to use it all again (which I am delighted about because some of it’s so cute I’d be sad to only use it for a couple of months!)

Sorry took a wee break to make some dinner but thank you for everyone who's posted since!

@Tobebythesea I'm not on any contraception other than condoms at the mo as I've found the ones I've tried haven't agreed with me honestly! I'm not sure what the benefits of pre-seed are, is it just fancy lube? Sorry bit crass, but thought I should ask! I've also never heard of conception tablets, so if you could fill me in that would be fabulous! Hahahaha xx

@Heyahun Japan with a baby sounds lovely! Good photo opportunity as well! How do reusable wipes work, do you just wash them? Are they more of a cloth fabric than the kind of thin Wetwipe thing? Trying not to overplan but it's very exciting! xx

@Halloween4 God that sounds horrendous - you must be pretty tough to stomach that (pardon the pun). Did that have any knock on effect to your calorie consumption? I don't think I could handle more than a week of vomiting without being very cranky and mad xx

@readingismycardio Glad to see you're enjoying, I'm grateful for everyone who's willing to offer up advice (and feel free to message me if you're keen on having someone to chat to about the excitement!) xx

@RedMarauder I'll be putting down the deposit on the house with inheritance money and I'm also contributing to the household pot through bursary and one form of benefit (until I can decide what I want to do long-term post academic studies). I can worry and plan many things at once haha! xx

@heyahun Any recommendations for home workouts? Do you do it based on Youtube videos / blog posts etc? I'm in a relatively good financial position. I could be a lot better but things will (hopefully) keep going up until TTC and further, and even if they didn't I think we'd cope just fine - though it's always nice to have a little extra to spend. xx

@ifiwasascent Me too How are you feeling about TTC? Do you feel suitably prepped, to a Mumsnet level? xx

@peachypetite I'm not with a company as I'm still in the throws of a degree, but I'll definitely look into what I'm entitled to (and be aware of maternity pay in case of future children!) xx

@LavaCake Oh that's so interesting! What do you think are the pros and cons of finding out the sex? I'm a bit in the middle. I think finding out the baby's sex when their born is very beautiful and I guess "classic", but it also probably makes it harder to decorate (then again I shouldn't be decorating based on sex anyway!).

I often find myself staring at little baby shoes in shops . If only they could stay teeny forever! xx

Sorry that whole thing was so monstrously long, everyone! Hahaha xx

Married, family friendly employer, own flat, bit of savings for mat leave but didn’t want to take off much longer than my employer paid (I didn’t want a full year). Meant to go on a big holiday but got pregnant too soon and had awful morning sickness!

Given - a set of hand me down 0-1m and 0-3m clothes.
Second hand - side sleeper crib (lovely wooden one), Moses basket, bugaboo bee, swaddles and gro bags, maternity clothes, nappy bag. All very cheap except the pram.
Already had - a couple of empty drawers in the chest of drawers in our room, a comfy arm chair.
New - mattress, car seat, haakaa pump, unbranded Amazon breast pump, muslins, a stretchy wrap, changing mat, shnuggle bath. Except the car seat none of these were more than £30.

We then lent or gave away pretty much everything. Now we’re getting some things back for DC2 or other friends are handing down clothes to us again.

@baabyshaark are you a mature student? I’d say it will be easier to establish a career first without a baby.

@peachypetite Not a mature student, no, just a bog standard one . I know Mumsnet isn't particularly keen on younger mums but for me it's a personal preference (and even if you don't agree with that preference necessarily this could still be a useful thread for other mums of any age!) xx

@BlenheimOrange Not too crazy expensive at all, well done you! Not sure if you're TTC or pregnant with your second, but if pregnant congratulations (and if TTC pre-congratulations ) xx

@baabyshaark. Vitabiotics do a male and female conception tablet. Basically folic acid and the men’s is mainly iron I think (black tablet). Can’t hurt?!

It depends if you use lubricant as some kill sperm and pre-seed doesn’t.

@Tobebythesea Ahh amazing! Yeah DH and I both need to get on some multivitamins and sort out our diets, but I'll also have a look at Vitabiotics. I'll have a look at pre-seed but potentially might not need it (we'll see!).
Thanks for the suggestions though, definitely good ideas and can always come back and try more stuff if TTC isn't working out! xx

@Halloween4 God that sounds horrendous - you must be pretty tough to stomach that (pardon the pun). Did that have any knock on effect to your calorie consumption? I don't think I could handle more than a week of vomiting without being very cranky and mad grin

I lost weight initially but I lived in jacket potatoes with LOADS of cheese as it was the only thing I could keep down. My consultant said babies are parasites and take everything they need, at your expense, so although it wasn’t a healthy diet for me the baby was still getting all her nutrients. The problem was I had to take a lot of time off work, I ruined several pairs of shoes, and I couldn’t do anything that involves kitchens or food, and I could barely interact with my step child. I was hospitalised for fluids at 16 weeks but things improved slightly after that.

@Halloween4 Hahaha your consultant sounds like she needs a raise . That sounds awful though - have you had any long term effects post-pregnancy? I think I read something that said women with hyperemesis were more likely to suffer with PPD / PPA (though might be entirely wrong, not sure). You should definitely take a few pairs of shoes out of your DC's uni fund though xx

Established a career, bought a house, made sure we were financially stable, travelled and socialised plenty, got married, came off the pill, took some prenatal vitamins, fell pregnant six weeks later. I'm glad we were as ready as we were, people had said oh it'll take a while to conceive why not start before the wedding etc.... I have PCOS and had been told I rarely ovulate so it was certainly a surprise that it was that quick

@KarlKennedysDurianFruit If you don't mind me asking, did the PCOS affect anything during your pregnancy? Giving birth to me actually managed to regulate my mum's periods and fix some of her PCOS symptoms, magically 🙈 Though I also know someone who had a baby and had substantially worse periods that were more random after having a child, so I've still got my worries in case I do have it as well. Thank you for posting! xx

My symptoms haven't changed post DS and I really hoped they would, I spend a lot of time and money on hair removal.... I'm still insulin resistant, I still gain weight looking at carbs. The best way for me to maintain weight and reduce symptoms is to mainly low carb and do cardio. I also had gestational diabetes which apparently is a lot more common if you have PCOS, but because I know my body and how it reacts to carbs/sugars etc pretty well by this point (took a long time to figure out exactly what works for me) , I was able to manage it with a brutally un-fun but healthy diet in pregnancy. My friend also has PCOS but because she didn't get the hairiness or any symptoms that have bothered her, has never really bothered to try and manage it, she also had gestational diabetes and was so frustrated that what the NHS advise didn't work for her (I knew as soon as they gave me the suggested foods or wouldn't for me) , she ended up with Metformin and then insulin. She and baby were fine though and her sugars are back to normal now post birth

baabyshaark

@Halloween4 Hahaha your consultant sounds like she needs a raise grin. That sounds awful though - have you had any long term effects post-pregnancy? I think I read something that said women with hyperemesis were more likely to suffer with PPD / PPA (though might be entirely wrong, not sure).

No not that I was aware of! I did suffer from intrusive thoughts for quite a while but I posted on here about it at the time and it seemed fairly “normal”... I wouldn’t let baby out of my sight in case any number of imagined threats came true. I put it down to my previous losses rather than anything else.

You should definitely take a few pairs of shoes out of your DC's uni fund though

Absolutely!

We got married. We wanted the security that it brings.

@KarlKennedysDurianFruit What was your diet, if it's okay to ask? Just in case I have PCOS, since you've said that the NHS guidelines didn't work for either of you.
My sugar intake will definitely be too high, I need to eat more food that I don't like (any kind of leafy green really) in order to balance my diet out. I'm just addicted to carbs. If only I liked going to the gym, I could just eat a shit ton of food and get muscly . Sorry to hear about the insulin resistance - how are you coping with that on the day to day? xx

@Halloween4 Did you go to any kind of counselling for intrusive thoughts, or was it something that went away on it's own? I've got an anxiety condition (as you can probably tell by my hyperactive planning!) and I'm probably quite susceptible to intrusive thoughts. Don't want to become even more of a worrier xx

@Liverbird77 I mean, me too I guess! Congratulations on your marriage hahaha xx

@baabyshaark thanks but it was more than three years ago now!
We've since had a little boy (21 months) and a little girl (13 weeks). I highly recommend parenthood. It's fab!

Made it to a senior job. Helpful fir the money obviously, but also because it gives me flexibility.

@Liverbird77 Hey, still congratulations, making it work is just a big a celebration as a wedding in my book!

I'm so glad you're having a good time though! Any sage (semi) newborn advice you'd like to impart? xx

@PaulinePetrovaPosey Well done you! I can't ask any questions as I don't want to out you in relation to employment, but feel free to offer any advice you'd like to for anyone reading the thread (or not, up to you!) xx

Oh that's so interesting! What do you think are the pros and cons of finding out the sex?

I went back and forth on the decision too - I’m naturally very curious and impatient so part of me is really keen to know! But I thought it would be really exciting to find out at the birth, and I love the idea of my husband being the one to tell me. The thought of that was a big sway for me (even though I know we can’t predict how the birth will actually go).

I have also found that not knowing the gender has helped me not have too many expectations about the baby before they’re born. I would love to be immune to gender stereotyping but I knew myself I would start to imagine the baby a particular way if I knew the sex. And perhaps even more, I worried about the expectations others would have. My mother and MIL are both lovely, wonderful people but I know both would tend to lean towards very gendered clothing if given the choice, and both have a tendency to believe in typical boy v girl traits. Not knowing has kept that under control for now.

I definitely don’t think there is a right or wrong approach though - it’s a very individual decision!

@lavacake It's really cool to hear your perspective on knowing vs not knowing the sex. Do you have a list of names for either sex? Do you also have any preference either way for the sex of the baby? Obviously sex doesn't necessarily affect who they are as people, but sometimes you can just get emotionally attached to the idea of a certain sex!
(that was the most appropriate paragraph I've ever written that has contained the word "sex" 5 times )

I want a bit of a surprise either way, honestly. If I found out the day I gave birth then it would be a nice surprise as my husband and I would find out the baby's gender together when we met them.
But also I'd quite like to do some kind of "gender reveal" thing for my husband (I know, embarrassing). It would be quite cute to be able to record the gender reveal on tape, sans crying and bleeding vagina if you catch my drift . xx