Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas - following the rules or not?

570 replies

BIWitched · 22/10/2020 20:42

From what we know right now (and accepting that things may change in the next few weeks) if you're in tier 2 or 3 re you going to obey the rules about not mixing households indoors?

YANBU - I will be ignoring the rules
YABU - it's my civic duty to obey the rules

OP posts:
BojoKilledMyMojo · 24/10/2020 15:49

I couldn't give a shit about it all. I'll be delighted to spend the day with my husband and the dog. I've never really understood why Xmas must be this ginormous family event though.

StoicWalrus · 24/10/2020 16:57

Can we have a third option for "I'll be following the rules because we always have Christmas the four of us and family all live too far away anyway?"

FourTeaFallOut · 24/10/2020 16:59

No. No you can't StoicWalrus, get off the fence and pick a side

CraftyGin · 24/10/2020 17:01

Am I the only one that is totally bewildered when people openly admit to planning on breaking Covid rules on these myriad of Christmas threads, as well as all the Tier 2/3 threads, on a public forum?

Ginfordinner · 24/10/2020 17:01

Can we have a third option for "I'll be following the rules because we always have Christmas the four of us and family all live too far away anyway?"

We tick that box Grin

FourTeaFallOut · 24/10/2020 17:02

Sorry, that was meant to be a joke but I just realised the tone is so shitty on MN at the moment that we might have to fight it out now. Blush

BIWI · 24/10/2020 17:04

@CraftyGin

Am I the only one that is totally bewildered when people openly admit to planning on breaking Covid rules on these myriad of Christmas threads, as well as all the Tier 2/3 threads, on a public forum?
I think you must be!

It's a public forum but we're all anonymous.

That said, it seems that most rule breakers here are quite happy with their decision.

CraftyGin · 24/10/2020 17:05

It's a public forum but we're all anonymous.

Don’t believe that for one minute.

BIWI · 24/10/2020 17:07

It's going to be a huge palaver for anyone to work out who all the rule breakers are though, isn't it?

StoicWalrus · 24/10/2020 17:07

@FourTeaFallOut

Sorry, that was meant to be a joke but I just realised the tone is so shitty on MN at the moment that we might have to fight it out now. Blush
Ha! Don't worry I saw the joke.
Chaotic45 · 24/10/2020 17:21

I'll be following the rules.

If everyone had done this from the start we wouldn't be we here we are now.

The only reason that the rules don't work is because people don't stick to them- for whatever reason they excuse their behaviour.

Each to their own but my clear conscience is valuable to my peace of mind.

MercyBooth · 24/10/2020 18:01

I call bullshit on the Eid thing, the majority of posters were sympathetic including me, it was a shock rug pulling move to ban meets at the last minute but now we’re going to pretend that no one gave a fuck

THIS!! I was sympathetic on the Eid threads too but ive NCed since then.

CrappleUmble · 24/10/2020 18:09

@MercyBooth

I call bullshit on the Eid thing, the majority of posters were sympathetic including me, it was a shock rug pulling move to ban meets at the last minute but now we’re going to pretend that no one gave a fuck

THIS!! I was sympathetic on the Eid threads too but ive NCed since then.

Same.
Ding123 · 24/10/2020 18:20

Yes there was sympathy on the Eid thread because of the last minute gov announcement, but there was still an expectation from most posters that those celebrating adhere to the rules for the greater public.

Feministicon · 24/10/2020 18:26

It was a direct response to the posters saying ‘no one cared when it happened at Eid’

Sixgeese · 24/10/2020 19:14

We are in a childcare bubble with my parents but read the guidelines that they were only for childcare and not for general socialisation.

From Gov.co.uk

Childcare bubbles are to be used to provide childcare only, and not for the purposes of different households mixing where they are otherwise not allowed to do so.

Saying that as we are a family of 5 and 3 people live in DPs house, we couldn't all go around at the same time anyway.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 24/10/2020 19:49

@Sixgeese

We are in a childcare bubble with my parents but read the guidelines that they were only for childcare and not for general socialisation.

From Gov.co.uk

Childcare bubbles are to be used to provide childcare only, and not for the purposes of different households mixing where they are otherwise not allowed to do so.

Saying that as we are a family of 5 and 3 people live in DPs house, we couldn't all go around at the same time anyway.

How do you know what the rules will be by the end of December?
Sixgeese · 24/10/2020 19:57

I have no idea what the rules will be at Christmas, none of us can

However, we are in the High tier at the moment so unless the rules change, we aren't planning on going to DPs for Christmas. We have a goose and and Turkey in the freezer ready. Hopefully the rules will change as I can go around as my DDad is a better cook than me!

I will pop around at wish them Happy Christmas from their driveway and join with them and the rest of the family on zoom.

AlwaysColdHands · 24/10/2020 20:07

I would love to break the rules, I haven’t seen my mum for a year. But myself and partner have to go to work, we have children at school and nursery, and so we cant isolate for 2 weeks before seeing them, so we can’t visit as it’s too risky for them 😢 so sad about it

Fluffybutter · 24/10/2020 20:57

@BojoKilledMyMojo

I couldn't give a shit about it all. I'll be delighted to spend the day with my husband and the dog. I've never really understood why Xmas must be this ginormous family event though.
It doesn’t , but many enjoy it . Not that hard to fathom
TattyDevine · 24/10/2020 21:02

We will be having a family Christmas at home and avoiding the oldies I think at this stage, because they are quite nervous about it all and it involves us staying with them or them staying with us, travelling etc, regardless of whether it's the law at the time Christmas happens, it's not that practical with the virus still about and them with niggly health complaints.

That said I"m a bit over being told who I can and can't not have in the house I bought and paid for, and I"m of the mind at the moment that I will be having 3 friends over for drinks in my kitchen on my birthday which is coming up. I might change my mind.

MissMarplesGlove · 24/10/2020 21:16

if you're in tier 2 or 3 re you going to obey the rules about not mixing households indoors?

Have you considered that if everyone in these areas had actually followed the rules, you might not be in such a strict lockdown?

Just a thought ...

We know that the way this disease is transmitted is by unprotected and prolonged contact particularly inside.

FractionalGains · 24/10/2020 21:33

We know that the way this disease is transmitted is by unprotected and prolonged contact particularly inside

Like schools and workplaces, which are perfectly within the rules.

CrappleUmble · 24/10/2020 21:39

@MissMarplesGlove

if you're in tier 2 or 3 re you going to obey the rules about not mixing households indoors?

Have you considered that if everyone in these areas had actually followed the rules, you might not be in such a strict lockdown?

Just a thought ...

We know that the way this disease is transmitted is by unprotected and prolonged contact particularly inside.

Have you thought about rtft to see whether this issue has already been extensively debated, and alternative arguments made?

Just a thought.

TheId · 24/10/2020 21:52

It's our first Christmas since my mum died very recently at a young age of cancer. Christmas was always a massively important family occasion for us. Hell will freeze over before I let my dad spend it on his own.
It is very very important to me to be with my whole family this year.

I think it's within the rules for him to spend it with one of his children's families as a single person now but I don't want him to have to choose which one as he is close to both his daughters and usually we would all spend it together. This year more than ever we need to support one another.

The only thing that would stop me is if any of us actually have symptoms or a positive test. Then obviously we would stay away. I do not want to kill him.

In England it will violate the rule of 6 even if we remain Tier 1 but if Wales (where he is) go back to their extended household rules after this lockdown it would not because our children don't count so would be within the rules.
The whole family live in low risk areas in fact. His bit of Wales also has very few cases.
Inconsistencies like that do make me feel more like saying just fuck the whole thing. Usually I am a rule following law abiding person but some things in life are actually more important and my first family Christmas without my mum is one of those things.
Not something that everyone can understand or agree with perhaps but that is how it is for me.