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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Christmas - following the rules or not?

570 replies

BIWitched · 22/10/2020 20:42

From what we know right now (and accepting that things may change in the next few weeks) if you're in tier 2 or 3 re you going to obey the rules about not mixing households indoors?

YANBU - I will be ignoring the rules
YABU - it's my civic duty to obey the rules

OP posts:
SallyB392 · 24/10/2020 00:25

I'm not sure that I would say that it's my civic duty to keep the rules, more it's my responsibility to my family and those that I love to minimise risks. I like to think this is one year in a lifetime

SE13Mummy · 24/10/2020 00:28

We're in Tier 2 and expecting it to stay that way. My parents are 2.5 hours away and although I spent most of the summer driving to and from there in a day to wave at my DF through a hospital window and to sit outside to see my DM, it becomes less feasible once the clocks change. We are unlikely to get to see them in person over Christmas as DF is still unable to drive at the moment but if I can book a cheap hotel for DDs and me, we will try to get down to visit at some point. With lots of layers, warm hats and blankets so we can stay outside whilst they're inside.

On Christmas Day itself it'll be just us at home but we may go for a walk with another family of four (the dads will have to walk separately so we don't break the rule of six) who live locally. Luckily we have decent open spaces locally and a walk is something we try to do to break up the day anyway. But we'll be sticking to the rules.

ilovesooty · 24/10/2020 00:37

I won't be following any poxy rules on Christmas Day

I despair. There's a world of difference in attitude between people struggling with decisions involving vulnerable and terminally ill relatives and the selfishness demonstrated above.

MercyBooth · 24/10/2020 03:05

Im hoping my area doesnt go into Tier 3

northernmonkeys100 · 24/10/2020 05:36

You have no idea the economic damage a rinse and repeat lock down would do.
Your a fantasist or work for a Local Authority eg safe job and gold plated pension.

Wishingstarr · 24/10/2020 05:47

Bah Humbug!

Bluesheep8 · 24/10/2020 05:51

*What is a “childcare bubble”? That’s not a “thing”

However, I won’t be following any poxy rules on Christmas Day and will be seeing and spending time with family!*

But complete disregard for other people IS a thing, clearly.

ohnothisagain · 24/10/2020 05:55

I like my parents and my inlaws, and would like them to see many more Christmases. The kids are in school and after school activities. So we’ll stay away from relatives.

Umbridge34 · 24/10/2020 06:30

@aivilodraw

What is a “childcare bubble”? That’s not a “thing” Hmm

However, I won’t be following any poxy rules on Christmas Day and will be seeing and spending time with family!

Yes it is a thing. Those of us who have been under increased restrictions have been able to form a childcare bubble with one other household to provide informal childcare since around September. Think grandparents looking after children. It was a necessary addition to the rules since many people (basically every single one of my colleagues) had been forced to break the law for months in order to continue working.

However I've discovered off the back of this thread that it is for childcare only and does not work in the same way as support bubbles ie no socialising. I dont know how the will effect my Christmas. It probably won't, the prospect of spending all day alone with just DS doesn't fill me with the best feeling in the world.

Mintypink · 24/10/2020 07:04

Like Cokadoodledoo I’ll be working throughout Christmas supporting hospital discharges back into your homes. I actually despair of those of you who find it impossible to just do the right thing. You are willing to endanger lives to fulfil the ridiculous need to participate in a consumer fest of sickening proportions just to spend time eating crap and falling out with your families whilst we wait to pick up the pieces. I despair. Come and spend a day in any of our shoes. You may think again. And before anyone comments that all we’ll be doing is making Tik Toks, look at the figures! I’m not even allowed to mix with my colleagues in the office any more. I go into people’s homes, full ppe all day and then return to my own home to write my notes, order equipment & make all onward referrals. No face to face support with anyone in my team., putting my family at risk. I LOVE my job but I just hope that all of your elderly relatives make it through winter. However I fear that the statistics predict that at least a handful of you ‘ffs poxy rules’ types will probably regret your Christmas choices this year!

shitonitbambinos · 24/10/2020 07:30

@northernmonkeys100

You have no idea the economic damage a rinse and repeat lock down would do. Your a fantasist or work for a Local Authority eg safe job and gold plated pension.
And you clearly have no idea of the health impact without it.
Notemyname · 24/10/2020 07:33

Not indoors, but will meet with my parents and brother as a group of 7 outdoors for a walk. My family are all in the shielding category and I have young kids in school and childcare so can't take the risk of an indoors meet up.

Pootle40 · 24/10/2020 07:38

Same as @secretllama

Hardly leave the house all week but so long as friends happy to continue to do so will meet people on a 1:1 basis once a fortnight or so.

Halliehallie9828 · 24/10/2020 07:44

Nope ... I will be seeing my family as normal. Have plans to go over my parents with the kids on Xmas night after our diner.

I will stop in to see my nan on the way also.

Florencex · 24/10/2020 07:50

@Bluesheep8

*What is a “childcare bubble”? That’s not a “thing”

However, I won’t be following any poxy rules on Christmas Day and will be seeing and spending time with family!*

But complete disregard for other people IS a thing, clearly.

It is a thing. Childcare bubbles were specifically set up to enable people to get back to work by using family members for childcare. It is not relevant for the Christmas thread as it is not a thing to enable a Christmas get together over and above the normal restrictions.
ShebaShimmyShake · 24/10/2020 07:52

@TacoLover

Interesting to see the replies on here compared to the ones when it was EidHmm
I was thinking the same thing.
maddy68 · 24/10/2020 08:12

No. , I'm a teacher, I am reaching 180 different students every single day in a crowded classroom , some of which have already tested positive and steps been taken following that.

But to think I can't see my nephew's , but I can teach them is crazy.

So it'll be Christmas as normal at my house.

SqidgeBum · 24/10/2020 08:36

We usually have to endure a family party with DHs family. That (thank the gods) wont be happening this year. But we will probably break the rules and see DHs parents and sister. All together we are a group of 9 but I imagine we will see them separately, which will make us a group of 7 max, one of which will be our 6 week newborn.

My family live in ireland so we have given up any hope of seeing each other at christmas. I havent seen any extended irish family in over a year, despite being close to them. I will be lucky if my parents get to meet my baby when she is born in the next week or so.

Feministicon · 24/10/2020 08:38

@Cockadoodledooo

I'll be at work Christmas Day (NHS). Would really appreciate everyone continuing to follow the rules properly so that one day in the not too distant future I'll be able to meet up with all of my family again.
😏
SqidgeBum · 24/10/2020 08:41

Sorry. Meant to say we are all currently tier 1, so groups of 6 are currently allowed. Obviously if rules change we may change our plans, although I cant see my MIL complying with not seeing us at Christmas. I honestly think, even if we said we dont want to see them, she would turn up at my door on Christmas eve. She is the type of woman who cries to get what she wants, and didnt follow lockdown the first time around (kept seeing DHs sister) so rules are not really her thing.

Feministicon · 24/10/2020 08:41

I call bullshit on the Eid thing, the majority of posters were sympathetic including me, it was a shock rug pulling move to ban meets at the last minute but now we’re going to pretend that no one gave a fuck?

Bakingcupcake · 24/10/2020 10:44

@SqidgeBum

Sorry. Meant to say we are all currently tier 1, so groups of 6 are currently allowed. Obviously if rules change we may change our plans, although I cant see my MIL complying with not seeing us at Christmas. I honestly think, even if we said we dont want to see them, she would turn up at my door on Christmas eve. She is the type of woman who cries to get what she wants, and didnt follow lockdown the first time around (kept seeing DHs sister) so rules are not really her thing.
Sounds a bit like my MIL...thankfully we live 400 miles from her but she was meeting up with my SIL and other family even tho being paid full pay as she said she was in the "vulnerable" category 🤔...absolute joke....vulnerable when it suits her...thankfully wont have to endure them at xmas either 🤞 due to covid!!winner in my eyes!
GingerAndTheBiscuits · 24/10/2020 11:54

@northernmonkeys100

You have no idea the economic damage a rinse and repeat lock down would do. Your a fantasist or work for a Local Authority eg safe job and gold plated pension.
If you think local authority jobs are safe, you haven’t been paying attention since 2010.
sadblackcat · 24/10/2020 12:05

My friends teenage son didnt obey the rules. Went out with his mates did the usual teenage things. Caught Covid and was fairly ill, passed it on to his his dad who is now fighting for his life on a ventilator in ICU. He has to live with the guilt. Christmas is one day for Gods sake............death is for ever.

ChilledTomotoes · 24/10/2020 12:14

People were expected to follow the rules for Eid. It’s Diwali in a few weeks and we won’t be seeing any family.

I expect people to follow the same rules for Christmas too.