What an interesting subject of conversation and one that I can see has benefits to both lifestyle choices.
Whilst my siblings and cousins were busy reproducing in their early 20s, I couldn't think of anything worse. My body and money was my own to do with as I pleased where-as they were worn down by the responsibility of young parenthood. Each one told me that if they knew how difficult it would have been, they would never have embarked on it. As for me, I knew how difficult it was because I was a nanny for 2 under 2 at a very young age, so I was more than happy to wait.
By the time I was 32yrs, I was TTC with my ex. It was 2yrs of pure hell, a rollercoaster of emotions every month where we would have hope because I was ovulating, which would be followed by anguish and grief that I never got pregnant. He left me soon after to get someone else pregnant and I was left alone and grief stricken. I sorted myself out, bought my own place and changed my career, but none of that felt enough for me and the overwhelming irrational desire to become a mother persisted.
During the next decade I had shitty, judgy attitudes off friends who had become parents. I was told maybe I wasn't cut out to be a mother and that's why nature had stopped the process. I was "kindly" offered babysitting roles and the honour of being godmother - none of which I wanted, but all forced upon me. I remember on one particular occasion when I said no to the offer of godmother (for the 8th child) when said mother physically pulled me out of the pew in front of everyone and up to the alter where the little darling was waiting to be baptised. Infuriating! As well as the pity parties, I've had awful comments from women who thought I'd chosen a child free existence, comments along the lines that I must be uncaring and hard faced to not want children.
During this decade of enforced childlessness, where I experienced the worst grief of my life, I also got to enjoy the freedom it brought. Spontaneous holidays, lie ins, nights out, and I know many of my friends with children were very envious. They frequently complained of sleeplessness, lack of money, freedom etc etc.
I met my partner 3 years ago and despite being early 40s we both knew we wanted children still. I don't know why, but despite gaining degrees, having different careers etc. I just knew that none of that fulfilled me as much as being a mum would - even with the lack of sleep and tedium I know it will bring.
I'm 5 months pregnant now - after spending a small mortgage and giving my life over to several rounds of ivf for the last 2 yrs - a truly awful existence.
In the last 12 months I've also fallen into a career I love and will miss when I start maternity leave. I know I'll love being a mum, but having spent so much of my life without children, I know myself well, am now in a stable financial position and will be able to enjoy the things I cherish without children present - like an uninterrupted lunch date with girl friends. I am in a very fortunate position.
My motive in being a mother isn't to be cared for in old age, nor is it so that I have something/one to love, but it is to share my life with another person and show them how amazing this world is. I hope when I'm old they're off fulfilling their dreams, travelling to amazing places or whatever they want to do, but most definitely, having the time of their lives without feeling guilty for one second that mum and dad are knocking on a bit and all alone at home.
Finally, for those women who chose not to be a mother because pregnancy damages your body, the reality is that whichever way you choose, there are likely to be consequences. Women who have never been pregnant are at much greater risk of female cancers than women who have, so please don't base your decision on becoming a parent on this one thing.