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Original poster

Childfree life

951 replies

uka888 · 22/10/2020 18:32

More women seem to be embracing the childfree life.
What’s your experiences? Plus points ? Negatives? Those of you 50/60+ are you pleased with your decision?
I think it’s good more options of spoken about so women can feel like it’s a choice.

OP posts:
Flowers24 · 03/04/2021 22:02

It's just a question, curious ?

Time2b33 · 03/04/2021 22:04

Of course people who struggle to conceive have considered adoption, and they also find hugely annoying when people ask them this question like they have come up with something revolutionary. 🙄🙄🙄

Sarahtrue · 03/04/2021 22:05

@speakout heights?

Garlia · 03/04/2021 22:05

@Flowers24

Those childfree not by choice, did you consider adopting?
Adoption isn't an automatic plan B for those unable to have biological DC.

Adoption is a long, intense and emotional process of assessments, training, gaining knowledge (attachment disorders, trauma etc) and of course panel approval.

Realistically it's just not a viable choice for everyone.

Flowers24 · 03/04/2021 22:05

Wow! Was just a question!!

Garlia · 03/04/2021 22:06

@Time2b33

Of course people who struggle to conceive have considered adoption, and they also find hugely annoying when people ask them this question like they have come up with something revolutionary. 🙄🙄🙄
Exactly, as if anyone has never heard of it before! Gee, thanks Grin
Flowers24 · 03/04/2021 22:07

It wasn't meant like that , I was wondering how many do consider this that's all, wish I hadn't bothered now

Time2b33 · 03/04/2021 22:07

@Flowers24

Wow! Was just a question!!
And now you know not to ask it again to someone struggling to conceive 🙂
Sarahtrue · 03/04/2021 22:07

@Flowers24 you said that parents don't stop raising children at 18.

I moved out of home at 18. And I lived totally independently, as did many people that I know. My mother certainly didn't look after me after I turned 18.

I think parenting does stop for many kids at 18

EmpressWitchDoesntBurn · 03/04/2021 22:09

A couple I know adopted successfully.

They have plenty of room, lots of local family support & are financially stable enough for one of them to stay at home.

The process still sounded like hell on earth & nearly broke them.

Flowers24 · 03/04/2021 22:09

Totally disagree, most kids don't leave home till much later now , kids at ui.start at 18 and parents are financially responsible.

Veterinari · 03/04/2021 22:11

@Flowers24

It wasn't meant like that , I was wondering how many do consider this that's all, wish I hadn't bothered now
Why? Are you childless and considering it yourself? Will it inform your choices?

It's often a tone-deaf enquiry trotted out to people struggling to have children that totally overlooks the personal struggles they are facing and assumes that adopting a child will be a universal 'solution'. It forces people struggling with childlessness to justify and explain a situation that is already painful for them in order to satiate the asker's curiosity.

Not in all cases. But often

Flowers24 · 03/04/2021 22:12

No I was just curious as to how many take that route ,thats all !

Traveller3367 · 03/04/2021 22:12

@Flowers24

"Those childfree not by choice, did you consider adopting?"

Omg hate posts like this , how to upset every woman TTC
Or should I say those who can't , sickening post btw
Right back at you!!

Flowers24 · 03/04/2021 22:13

No again , I was asking as was curious how many go for that option, right back at you now!

Sarahtrue · 03/04/2021 22:13

@Flowers24 many people get a grant for Uni, so parents are not financially responsible. I worked all through Uni aswell as getting a grant, as did all of my friends. We were very independent at 18. When I left for uni at 18, I never lived at home again. I know many people who were the same. I guess you know alot of people who still live with their parents?

EmpressWitchDoesntBurn · 03/04/2021 22:14

Interesting similar thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4209921-Is-being-a-parent-all-that-its-cracked-up-to-be

Flowers24 · 03/04/2021 22:15

Yes many , I went to uni and came home at 21 to live there for a while. Most parents have some financial involvement at uni, leaving home at 18 is very unusual these days .

Garlia · 03/04/2021 22:16

@Flowers24

It wasn't meant like that , I was wondering how many do consider this that's all, wish I hadn't bothered now
Imagine being told 'you can just adopt!' by many, many people, in a breezy tone that implies you could just browse kids on Amazon and pick your favourite, and opt for Prime Delivery. I think it's because it's said so informally, with a wave of the hand, without any realistic notion or respect for the emotional implications of adoption at all.

There are also many people who adopt, and find it hurtful that those around them assume they're adopting because they can't have their own. It's a choice in it's own right too, not a back up plan.

Traveller3367 · 03/04/2021 22:16

@EmpressWitchDoesntBurn
Thanks for the link. I should have posted my comments on that thread instead. Apologies agaon

Flowers24 · 03/04/2021 22:17

Never said ' you can just adopt' asked if people had considered it....

Veterinari · 03/04/2021 22:18

@Flowers24

Never said ' you can just adopt' asked if people had considered it....
To satisfy your personal curiosity about how people deal with the pain of being childless.

Nice

Sarahtrue · 03/04/2021 22:19

@flowers24 It is probably relevant to what country we live in aswell. I grew up in Ireland, and rent was quite cheap , when I was young, and it was definitely very normal to fully move out at 18 and houseshare with other people.

Maybe it was too expensive to do that/ culturally different in the Uk

EmpressWitchDoesntBurn · 03/04/2021 22:19

[quote Traveller3367]@EmpressWitchDoesntBurn
Thanks for the link. I should have posted my comments on that thread instead. Apologies agaon[/quote]
You’re welcome. I’m going to stay off that one because it’s not my opinion they’re after, but I thought the OP might find it useful.

Flowers24 · 03/04/2021 22:20

Yes tbh I know of no.one who left home atn18.