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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to get dd from uni?

377 replies

Noideawottodo · 22/10/2020 17:12

She's been isolating at her bfs house for 14 days. He and all his flatmates tested positive for covid. She developed symptoms, fever, cough, sore throat. Didn't get tested just assumed she had it. That was 10 days ago.

She wants to go back to her own house in a couple of days when she's done 14 days. But a flatmate in that house has just tested positive, if she goes there she will have to isolate again for 14 days.

She's really struggling. She's had a row with her boyf and can't bear to stay there for much longer. Her proper house mates didn't want her there as one is vulnerable.

Anyway she wants to come home. I don't want her home as I can't risk my other dcs getting it before they are due to go back to school in 10 days (they are having a 2 week half term). She says she'll self isolate in her bedroom, but i will have to collect her in the car and drive her home for 2 hours so if she still has it I will catch it?

I'm very confused and don't know what to do for the best.

OP posts:
Noideawottodo · 24/10/2020 07:01

@Zyzxyz

Noid, , Have you heard of Covid long haulers? She could drop dead from heart failure in 2 months or a year from now. I have complications to this day and have been hospitalized 5 times. Trust me, you should not take Covid as a passing cold. It is deadly and it has far reaching complications that Dr's are just now getting their head around. She should err on the side of utmost caution.
What a load of scaremongering bollocks.

I will ask if the thread can be deleted, if only to get rid of misinformation like this.

Fwiw, i know an entire family who had Covid quite badly in March. The mum, who is almost 50, won a triathlon last week and the kids are as fit as ever.

OP posts:
Mindymomo · 24/10/2020 07:17

What’s the latest info on your daughter, if you don’t mind me asking?

whereisthejoy · 24/10/2020 07:22

I had covid and it was a non event. It doesn't mean it's a death sentence ffs.

OP, I would definitely go get her ASAP. She needs to feel safe, she's been through enough.

whereisthejoy · 24/10/2020 07:23

Ah just seen update. Glad to hear she's home!

Noideawottodo · 24/10/2020 07:34

@Mindymomo

What’s the latest info on your daughter, if you don’t mind me asking?
She's home and sleeping!
OP posts:
Mindymomo · 24/10/2020 07:41

Great news, must be a relief to you all.

Noideawottodo · 24/10/2020 07:44

@Mindymomo

Great news, must be a relief to you all.
Yes thank you it's really nice to have her back.
OP posts:
Ignoringequally · 24/10/2020 08:13

@Nearly47

Ignoreequally,

To be sure she is free from the virus. People can be infectious until they test negative

But absolutely none of the guidance says ‘keep testing until you get a negative test to ensure you’re clear of the virus’. In fact unless paying for a test privately, trying to get a test at this point would involve lying. The guidance is clear. 10 days after symptoms start you can go about your business.
JamminDoughnuts · 24/10/2020 08:26

jsut caught up.
i thought she would change her mind!

how long does she plan to be home op?

JamminDoughnuts · 24/10/2020 08:27

i am clinically vulnerable, asthma, but i get to take my chances, yours is a different situation.
best of luck.

Noideawottodo · 24/10/2020 08:27

2 weeks.

OP posts:
Cantstopeatingchocolate · 24/10/2020 09:07

I just want to say, you can’t 100% say she’s had Covid because she never got a test.
And since she’s felt well she’s been in contact with yet another positive person. She needs to be SI for another 14 days.
She has likely HAD Covid but you can’t be totally sure and since you were so conflicted about picking her up in the first place I think you should err on the side of caution.
This is how this virus is rampant just now, people thinking they’re now immune or not a risk to anyone and going about their normal business.

Noideawottodo · 24/10/2020 09:14

@Cantstopeatingchocolate

I just want to say, you can’t 100% say she’s had Covid because she never got a test. And since she’s felt well she’s been in contact with yet another positive person. She needs to be SI for another 14 days. She has likely HAD Covid but you can’t be totally sure and since you were so conflicted about picking her up in the first place I think you should err on the side of caution. This is how this virus is rampant just now, people thinking they’re now immune or not a risk to anyone and going about their normal business.
Yes we are being as sensible as we can. As she has no symptoms there isn't a lot we can do. She hasn't been in contact with anyone with cv in the last few days (her original flatmate has it but she hasn't been back to her flat) unless she caught it in the restaurant, but as she has the trace app and hasn't been alerted yet I am not worried.
OP posts:
tash7779 · 24/10/2020 09:32

I’m sorry but how are you even asking this question. Go and get your child

tash7779 · 24/10/2020 09:33

Seen update, glad you got her

amispeakingenglish · 24/10/2020 10:50

Get her. I feel for the 18 + who have just 'started' uni & for the parents. The suicide of the 19 yr old last week is heartbreaking he had asked for help but hadn't been able to get it immediately I think. I remember the talks when my lot went, there are always those who wobble in a normal year let alone now. They have been sacrificial lambs this year, first the awful stress of exams and then without a care for their well being the government used them to get the money in, for both unis and private landlords. One of my dds flatmates in halls slit his wrists in his room a few years ago, autistic not seen for 2 weeks, yet his lecturers had not raised any concerns?? His parents thanked the uni, I'd have sued for failure in safeguarding

ScrunchyXL · 24/10/2020 10:57

Get her back home, we all have to learn with this risk at sometime

Noideawottodo · 24/10/2020 11:37

Sorry to do this, but this is a really useful feature that I suspect isn't getting the love it deserves..

to not want to get dd from uni?
OP posts:
KarmaStar · 24/10/2020 12:59

Yabu your dd has nowhere to go and you don't know what to do?unbelievable.
You go get her.ffs!

Localocal · 24/10/2020 13:58

Get her a test today and pick her up tomorrow when it's back.

dementedpixie · 24/10/2020 14:00

She is home already

dementedpixie · 24/10/2020 14:01

Wish people would read updates

Noideawottodo · 24/10/2020 14:50

@dementedpixie

Wish people would read updates
They didn't even read my post just above their comments 🤣🤣
OP posts:
Deidre21 · 24/10/2020 20:04

How can you even question this?

She’s your child.

Wear a mask when you drive with her in the car perhaps let her sit in the back seat wearing a mask too.

Disinfect the car before you leave to collect her and afterwards

Drive with the windows open

Remove your clothes when you come home and place into washing machine

She’s happy to isolate in her room

Just make sure that you can keep all other areas clean for you and your other children.

Hopefully you have two bathrooms or a second toilet if not, either she cleans up after she uses taps, bath, shower, etc or you wear a mask and clean after each time she uses the space.

Might sound drastic but I’d rather be a bit over the top for the first 10 days that she is home.

It’s the lazy,don’t care attitude that some have that lead to the virus rapidly spreading.

Unfortunately if you And your other children
do contract it from her then you’ll have to just isolate

Everyone is going through this in some way or the other and schools understand this.

Please don’t send your children back if they shoW symptoms and please get tested as you could send them back and they could cause further disruption at school.

Of course if you / your children do contract it and are asymptomatic then that is different.

However, if she did come back to stay at home depending on how many days before school start I’d be honest with the school and tell them the situation, the timeline of when she had Covid seeing that your daughter did not get a test, at least the school can then advise if your children can return.

Don’t be like some selfish people who use the school as a child minding service at the expense of others.

It’s sad that people don’t think that they might infect a non-vulnerable person who doesn’t get ill / is asymptomatic but who might have a father who is vulnerable or a family member receiving cancer treatment or any other vulnerable person that could lead to death.

It doesn’t take much to wear a mask, keep your distance or wash your hands and be clean in general.

Deidre21 · 24/10/2020 20:05

Good she’s home!!!

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