to not want to get dd from uni?

[Noideawottodo]

She's been isolating at her bfs house for 14 days. He and all his flatmates tested positive for covid. She developed symptoms, fever, cough, sore throat. Didn't get tested just assumed she had it. That was 10 days ago.

She wants to go back to her own house in a couple of days when she's done 14 days. But a flatmate in that house has just tested positive, if she goes there she will have to isolate again for 14 days.

She's really struggling. She's had a row with her boyf and can't bear to stay there for much longer. Her proper house mates didn't want her there as one is vulnerable.

Anyway she wants to come home. I don't want her home as I can't risk my other dcs getting it before they are due to go back to school in 10 days (they are having a 2 week half term). She says she'll self isolate in her bedroom, but i will have to collect her in the car and drive her home for 2 hours so if she still has it I will catch it?

I'm very confused and don't know what to do for the best.

[notanotherpothole]

It has been 10 days since she developed symptoms so her quarantine is over. Sounds like she's had a rough couple of weeks and needs her family. Pick her up, both wear masks, she sits in back and keep front windows open so air flows backwards. She needs you now.

[speakout]

I know it probably sounds stupid

It sounds heartless.

[Storyoftonight]

This is all a bit odd.

Get her to get a test first of all.

I am astounded that if you think she's positive you would put her on public transport...

Also , is this annoyance that she was at the boyfriends? Out of interest , would you have got her if she was infected in halls ? Her pals sound like they are isolating her due to her decision (as they wouldn't be able to do this if she was living there .) Incidentally , they actually have no say over whether she returns home but the poor girl must feel no one wants her.

Go and get her .

[Cocopogo]

Your other kids are unlikely to become unwell. I think you need to get her and make her feel loved

[lyralalala]

Does she still have symptoms? She needs to isolate where she is until her symptoms are gone or the 14 days are up (if she still has symptoms she should keep isolating).

Then collect her - if everyone in the house she is in has tested positive and she hasn't mixed with anyone else then she can't have caught it elsewhere.

[NotAKaren]

You said she is struggling and it sounds like she has had a pretty shitty time of it as have many uni students. It's a no brainier, go and get her and both wear a mask if it makes you feel better.

[slipperywhensparticus]

So she had a test and it came back negative?

What symptoms is she still showing if its the cough it lingers

[movingonup20]

If it's a straight forward journey she could take a train - she's 10 days out from first symptoms so ok to travel

[dementedpixie]

@slipperywhensparticus

So she had a test and it came back negative?

What symptoms is she still showing if its the cough it lingers

She had the test without symptoms then got symptoms afterwards

[Magissa]

Even if she could get tested again it isn't going to be much use if she is one of the people who keep testing positive for a month. Something to do with viral shedding...Doesn't mean they are still contagious. The guidance is that if you test positive you isolate for ten days unless you still have symptoms or still feel ill in which case keep isolating.
People are generally not being retested after the initial positive result. They just follow the guidance. However I know someone who is on a trial and tests weekly anyway. Following a positive result they have continued to test positive, so far for the fifth week however they are completely symptomless.

Here is the bmj article

www.bmj.com/company/newsroom/retest-for-covid-19-4-weeks-after-symptoms-first-appear-to-curb-infection-risk-say-researchers/

[Storyoftonight]

@Noideawottodo sorry can't quote one of your posts but....

In regards to the fact she could catch it the next day , so could you and so could dd herself at school.

[LavaCake]

I wouldn’t leave my kid stranded with nowhere to go so if it were up to me I would get her and let her self isolate at home.

[Seriouslymole]

I honestly cannot compute the way the world has turned on this. There is another thread on here asking if their 12 year old should be isolated in his bedroom for 14 days.

Come on people, please. Don't lose sight of the important things in life. These are your CHILDREN. Treat them with love. For most people covid has minimal impact - please, just bring her home.

[CremeEggThief]

I'm going to go against everyone else and say let her sort herself out. She is an adult. I wouldn't say no to her coming home if she makes her own way and it really is safe for the rest of you. I too have a son in Year 13, so I know exactly how you feel, worrying about taking time off. Year 11 and Year 13 are definitely the most important school years.

I can't drive, but if I could, not a fucking hope I'd be doing a 4 hour round trip for DS, for nearly any reason.

Some of the comments on this thread show just how much young adults are babied now and it infuriates me.

[MissConductUS]

Does her uni have a medical clinic? They must offer some testing for students and staff. She should go there and get tested. There is a good chance that she's had it and is no longer a transmission risk now.

As PP said, put her in the back seat with the rear windows open for the trip.

[ChaChaCha2012]

Your child is struggling and needs to come home.

So many young people are experiencing mental health difficulties as a result of this. Please don't let your child become another one.

Work out the practicalities and get her home.

[Thespottytortoise]

@CremeEggThief

Wow, your not going to win any parenting of the year awards are you...

[orangenasturtium]

If she had had a test on Oct 12 and it came back positive, she would have had to isolate for 10 days

That's not correct. She had symptoms so she needs to self isolate for AT LEAST 10 days after the onset of symptoms. She needs to continue to self isolate until she no longer has any symptoms other than a lingering cough or loss of the sense of smell/taste.

Here are the correct guidelines @Noideawottodo

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/how-long-to-self-isolate/

If she is symptom free now, I would wear a mask, keep the car windows open and pick her up.

[BlueJava]

If that was one of my sons I'd get them immediately. You can't leave your child stranded!

[PlanDeRaccordement]

I have two DC at university and if they were in same situation, I would get them home. As others have pointed out, she’s already done the isolation required from having symptoms. She’s either immune or doesn’t have it. My youngest DC at home is also vulnerable to Covid, like yours, but I would still get my older DC home.

[Noideawottodo]

She hasn't got nowhere to go, she can go to her proper house but will have to isolate as one of her original flatmates has it. She's run down and exhausted.

She's also in Wales and we're in England.

[Storyoftonight]

@CremeEggThief

I'm going to go against everyone else and say let her sort herself out. She is an adult. I wouldn't say no to her coming home if she makes her own way and it really is safe for the rest of you. I too have a son in Year 13, so I know exactly how you feel, worrying about taking time off. Year 11 and Year 13 are definitely the most important school years.

I can't drive, but if I could, not a fucking hope I'd be doing a 4 hour round trip for DS, for nearly any reason.

Some of the comments on this thread show just how much young adults are babied now and it infuriates me.

Excellent. Put her on public transport to infect everyone else !

I would like to think your children don't think the same about you. That is an awful attitude.

[Storyoftonight]

@Noideawottodo

She hasn't got nowhere to go, she can go to her proper house but will have to isolate as one of her original flatmates has it. She's run down and exhausted.

She's also in Wales and we're in England.

So she's going to have to isolate in lockdown city with folk .

Go and get her. You know you should.

[Thespottytortoise]

That's logical, making her isolate for another two weeks for no good reason.

She's done her time, I can't see why you wouldn't allow her home, poor girl.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

Given you have a younger daughter at home who is vulnerable I don’t think you sound heartless or stupid or anything like that. You sound worried and conflicted.

But if she has self-isolated for 14 days since the people she’s living with got symptoms and 10 days since she got symptoms then she’s passed the dangerous stage and shouldn’t be a risk, so it is okay to bring her home. If you are unsure about the timeline Or think she may have fudged things, double check it and maybe see if she can stay at her bf’s place for a day or two to get to the recommended isolation period.