to not want to get dd from uni?

[Noideawottodo]

She's been isolating at her bfs house for 14 days. He and all his flatmates tested positive for covid. She developed symptoms, fever, cough, sore throat. Didn't get tested just assumed she had it. That was 10 days ago.

She wants to go back to her own house in a couple of days when she's done 14 days. But a flatmate in that house has just tested positive, if she goes there she will have to isolate again for 14 days.

She's really struggling. She's had a row with her boyf and can't bear to stay there for much longer. Her proper house mates didn't want her there as one is vulnerable.

Anyway she wants to come home. I don't want her home as I can't risk my other dcs getting it before they are due to go back to school in 10 days (they are having a 2 week half term). She says she'll self isolate in her bedroom, but i will have to collect her in the car and drive her home for 2 hours so if she still has it I will catch it?

I'm very confused and don't know what to do for the best.

I think it made a difference that she was travelling from a Tier 2 area.

Think lots of posters going but 'it's your CHILD' haven't remembered the other child in the equation.

one of her proper flatmates MUM texted her to say she couldn't stay int he house with her precious ds with suspected CV

I would have intervened here, mind, to tell this person to fuck right off in trying to exclude my daughter from her home that she pays to live in.

@Comefromaway

I take it you don’t live on the English/Welsh border Rona

Well, yes. But are you seriously suggesting that they'd follow someone through Wales if s/he said they were supporting someone seriously vulnerable?

Just think of all the people who could get through the border while they're busily pursuing a mum collecting her daughter.

Nah, they won’t follow her. What they will do is ask further questions about who she’s collecting and why, then say no, turn around and go home.

Same police who told me off for buying a sodding hula hoop from the supermarket for my children to play with in the garden, bought at the same time as an essential shop of food. Same police who patrolled empty beaches in the last lockdown to catch anyone driving their car there to walk their dog.

They’re on a power trip here and appear to have time on their hands.

I'd get her in a heartbeat.

There really are not that many road crossings into Wales, South Wales at least. There is a big river kind of in the way. Yes, there may be police at the border. Yes the police are strict in Wales.. last time using helicopters to loud speaker people in Paris, approached by police for standing still in the park. I'm not exaggerating, it happened to me.

Parks not bloody Paris!

@CottonSock quotes the relevant legal stuff earlier in the thread

I would get my daughter straight away!

Bring her home; she has isolated for the required time, is willing to isolate at home and is unhappy where she is. I would go and get her.

Get her. I did the same for mine 2 weeks ago. A pain the backside to do but it’s really your only option.

Go and get your daughter.

How about asking the NHS - 111

She needs to go back to her flat and isolate with her flat mates.

It’s no great hardship to do another 14 dats and she is at university. Where is she going to go if she lives with you?

Not fair on your DC’s to miss school just because she doesn’t want to isolate again.

I actually can’t believe you have come on here to ask this. Your her MUM. It’s a no brainier...

You can collect her if you want to.

You both need to wear a mask: a proper one with a filter (you can get them from any chemist). They are good for 4 hours before you need to change them.

You can drive, she can sit in the back.

She will need to isolate in her room, you can leave her meals outside her door and she will need to clean the bathroom after each use and leave the window open to circulate fresh air.

Can it be done? Yes. Will it be an arse ache? Absolutely.

It depends on how much you value her to be blunt. Why are your other children more important than her? She may be older but she's still your child and she's probably more scared than you are. Personally I wouldn't think twice.

From one mother to another: go get your child.

Go get her. Wear a mask, make her sit at the back, keep all windows open. The risk is minimal if she had completed 14 days of quarantine post developing symptoms.

You are not being silly, it is not an easy decision. It is an unknown virus that has put all of us under pressure... can she drive? Maybe rent a car to drive home? Once she is home, she needs to self isolate as strictly as possible. To be honest, the chance of CV being spread at your home is high if you just jumped in the car to pick her up. I know it is difficult for her but can you possibly rent her a short term accommodation, many do no contact check in , where she can self-isolate for another two weeks? All about how much risk you are willing to take isn’t it

In the time it has taken to read this I would have had my coat on and been in the car. Unless she actually wants to go back to her digs, in which case I would take her there and sort out the fkatmates when I arrived.

Your concerns are valid. You have other children and your own health and work to consider. It may feel tough but why doesn’t she make the effort to stay where she is till there’s the all clear from her flat mates and she’s got herself tested. She could isolate where she is as far as possible to put her flatmates fears at rest. Part of going to uni is learning to stand on your own feet and take responsibility for your own life. It’s a very short time for her to wait up there and the consequences for you and the rest of the family even if only inconvenience are potentially much bigger than the inconvenience to her. How do your other daughters feel?

Oh and out of respect to yourself, your family and everyone don’t feel pressurised to bend or break any Covid rules. It could out turn out quite badly if you do.

Your some mother when your child needs you! Poor thing.

If she had the virus she won't catch it again so soon. Ask her to do the test and bring her home. Be extra careful but don't leave her stranded. Unless your are in higher risk category

Be there for your dd1. Hop in car make her sit in back and both wear masks for all of journey. As others have said keep windows open. When home make her be last in queue for shower then clean after herself and stay in her room. Get her a Covid test. As soon as she is negative no need to self isolate anymore.

Definitely need to get her home- she must be feeling so low after boyfriend row & not welcomed back by housemates. Just get tests & be careful. Presumably DD2 in contact with others at school so DD1 not only risk factor & sounds like less of one if already isolating