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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to get dd from uni?

377 replies

Noideawottodo · 22/10/2020 17:12

She's been isolating at her bfs house for 14 days. He and all his flatmates tested positive for covid. She developed symptoms, fever, cough, sore throat. Didn't get tested just assumed she had it. That was 10 days ago.

She wants to go back to her own house in a couple of days when she's done 14 days. But a flatmate in that house has just tested positive, if she goes there she will have to isolate again for 14 days.

She's really struggling. She's had a row with her boyf and can't bear to stay there for much longer. Her proper house mates didn't want her there as one is vulnerable.

Anyway she wants to come home. I don't want her home as I can't risk my other dcs getting it before they are due to go back to school in 10 days (they are having a 2 week half term). She says she'll self isolate in her bedroom, but i will have to collect her in the car and drive her home for 2 hours so if she still has it I will catch it?

I'm very confused and don't know what to do for the best.

OP posts:
threatmatrix · 23/10/2020 18:53

She’s your child so of course you go and get her. I wouldn’t think twice. Your other children are fine as kids don’t really suffer from it.

SparklyShoesandTutus · 23/10/2020 19:06

The rules are 10 days quarantine from the first symptoms. 14 days for all other household members. If symptoms started on the 12th then she should have been OK to come out of quarantine today. Challenge is in a house of multiple occupancy where its circulating there isn't a lot of evidence about further spread. For example she may no longer be carrying the virus but if its still present within the house others could be spreading on surfaces. Personally I'd go get her. Get her to have a shower before leaving only touch anything she needs to leaving the house, sanitise hands before getting in the car. If it makes you feel better ask her to wear a mask and then get changed and shower when she gets in

Alternista · 23/10/2020 19:09

Cor, I thought I was a harsh mother!

Go get your daughter.

sophe · 23/10/2020 19:43

Tell here this is what being a grown up feels like. It is hard making personal sacrifices to protect one's family. She has to stay in isolation according to the rules until she would judged by clinicians, safe to mix with others.

Your responsibility is to look after the family unit as a whole.

speakout · 23/10/2020 19:45

sophe

How old are your children?

Original poster
Noideawottodo · 23/10/2020 19:58

She's home! Drove home with a mask on. She's so thin 😪

Really happy to see her and she cried when she saw the dog.

She has no cough or fever but she's really tired.

OP posts:
Ignoringequally · 23/10/2020 20:00

@sophe

Tell here this is what being a grown up feels like. It is hard making personal sacrifices to protect one's family. She has to stay in isolation according to the rules until she would judged by clinicians, safe to mix with others.

Your responsibility is to look after the family unit as a whole.

She has isolated according to the rules.
PatriciaPerch · 23/10/2020 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Noideawottodo · 23/10/2020 20:01

Also the border is swarming with police but I wasn't stopped there or back, left wales at about 4
30.

OP posts:
AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 23/10/2020 20:12

@Noideawottodo

Also the border is swarming with police but I wasn't stopped there or back, left wales at about 4 30.
Hope she feels well again soon. Best wishes to you all x
LoverOfAllThingsPurple · 23/10/2020 20:23

Wear the correct PPE, mask, goggle, apron and gloves. Get your daughter to do the same. . Sanitise everything. Take your shoes off at your front door and sanitise them with antibacterial wipes. Put your clothes in a bag and straight in to the washing machine n shower right away. Your daughter should do the same. Then stay in her room until she is clear. There are ways round this. She needs your help and you should absolutely go and get her, but protect yourself, your family and your daughter.

RonaLisa · 23/10/2020 20:27

@LoverOfAllThingsPurple

Wear the correct PPE, mask, goggle, apron and gloves. Get your daughter to do the same. . Sanitise everything. Take your shoes off at your front door and sanitise them with antibacterial wipes. Put your clothes in a bag and straight in to the washing machine n shower right away. Your daughter should do the same. Then stay in her room until she is clear. There are ways round this. She needs your help and you should absolutely go and get her, but protect yourself, your family and your daughter.
I take it this is a joke?
exaltedwombat · 23/10/2020 20:28

Heard-hearted man here. She's your daughter, and wants to come home. You know what you're going to do. Don't look for approval though.

Ignoringequally · 23/10/2020 20:28

@exaltedwombat

Heard-hearted man here. She's your daughter, and wants to come home. You know what you're going to do. Don't look for approval though.
Does no one read even the OP’s posts? She’s already fetched her daughter.
RonaLisa · 23/10/2020 20:29

@Noideawottodo

She's home! Drove home with a mask on. She's so thin 😪

Really happy to see her and she cried when she saw the dog.

She has no cough or fever but she's really tired.

OP, I'd have cried when I saw the dog, too, when I was your DD's age. What a rubbish situation for them all. I hope you and she are both ok.
Essexgirlupnorth · 23/10/2020 20:31

Both wear surgically masks in car but if she had symptoms 10 days ago and has recovered she is unlikely to he infective. If she can isolate in one room you leave found for her and if she can't have her own bathroom wipes down surfaces are using it if you are worried about passing it on.
Colleague tested positive and isolated himself away from his wife and child when he got symptoms and they didn't get ill.

Mirinska · 23/10/2020 20:35

@Rachand23
Not sure what’s good motherly about not following Covid guidelines, mixing households and potentially exposing your younger children and their mother to a life threatening virus. Not following guidelines is what’s been spreading the virus, killing people and wrecking the economy and future wellbeing of every mothers child including one’s own.

ToftyAC · 23/10/2020 20:58

Jesus fucking wept. Not rtft, get in the car and go collect your child!

Max14165 · 23/10/2020 21:22

She’s your daughter .. she needs her family .. just go get her .....

Nearly47 · 23/10/2020 21:31

Thats great you've got her. Don't let your guard until you have her tested. Try to keep the distance at home. I hope she feels better soon

DreamTheMoors · 23/10/2020 21:33

@Noideawottodo

“I know it probably sounds stupid.”

No, it sounds cruel and unusual. Are you her mother or are you pretending to be her mother?

GO GET YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!! Jesus. It’s stunning that you would even have to ask anyone, let alone ransoms on mumsnet.

snowfairylover · 23/10/2020 21:36

Omg OP was debating whether to let her daughter come home after having an argument with BF because she has another child with asthma!!!! and could still be infectious!!!!

OP you’re not heartless, and you’ve got her at home now so hopefully they leave you alone Flowers

Ignoringequally · 23/10/2020 21:40

@Nearly47

Thats great you've got her. Don't let your guard until you have her tested. Try to keep the distance at home. I hope she feels better soon
Why would she be tested? She developed symptoms 11 days ago.
Original poster
Noideawottodo · 23/10/2020 21:50

[quote DreamTheMoors]@Noideawottodo

“I know it probably sounds stupid.”

No, it sounds cruel and unusual. Are you her mother or are you pretending to be her mother?

GO GET YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!! Jesus. It’s stunning that you would even have to ask anyone, let alone ransoms on mumsnet.[/quote]
It's quite funny reading these posts actually 🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
Zyzxyz · 23/10/2020 21:53

You could put her up in a motel room if you're worried for your other kids.