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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to get dd from uni?

377 replies

Noideawottodo · 22/10/2020 17:12

She's been isolating at her bfs house for 14 days. He and all his flatmates tested positive for covid. She developed symptoms, fever, cough, sore throat. Didn't get tested just assumed she had it. That was 10 days ago.

She wants to go back to her own house in a couple of days when she's done 14 days. But a flatmate in that house has just tested positive, if she goes there she will have to isolate again for 14 days.

She's really struggling. She's had a row with her boyf and can't bear to stay there for much longer. Her proper house mates didn't want her there as one is vulnerable.

Anyway she wants to come home. I don't want her home as I can't risk my other dcs getting it before they are due to go back to school in 10 days (they are having a 2 week half term). She says she'll self isolate in her bedroom, but i will have to collect her in the car and drive her home for 2 hours so if she still has it I will catch it?

I'm very confused and don't know what to do for the best.

OP posts:
Lockdownfatigue · 22/10/2020 21:11

Oh yeah. That one road that goes between England and Wales

Don’t be a prick. There are a few major routes in and out but even within Wales there is a strong police presence policing (ha!) travel between counties and into England.

I’m guessing you don’t live in Wales?

Comefromaway · 22/10/2020 21:11

Why on earth would it have made the news? She’s not exactly going to go contacting the news about something she shouldn’t have been doing.

She shouldn’t have been travelling from a Tier 2 area into Wales anyway. She left halls on the Thursday evening with a weekend case and arrived back in a stomp a while later. when she got turned back.

Lockdownfatigue · 22/10/2020 21:13

Course it wouldn’t have made the news ListeningQuietly ! It’s happening so often it’s a non-event.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 22/10/2020 21:13

@Comefromaway

Why on earth would it have made the news? She’s not exactly going to go contacting the news about something she shouldn’t have been doing.

She shouldn’t have been travelling from a Tier 2 area into Wales anyway. She left halls on the Thursday evening with a weekend case and arrived back in a stomp a while later. when she got turned back.

Are the airports closed in Wales?
LAMPS1 · 22/10/2020 21:14

I also just heard the news that the Welsh Government have told uni students in Wales not to go home during the two week lockdown, the objective being to minimise travel while numbers are rising and to make it safer to go home at Christmas. In the last lockdown, all main roads into Wales were watched by police and people were stopped and asked why they were travelling. A lot were turned back and tracked. The same was happening last week. I would be fetching her tomorrow ..Friday before 6pm.

RonaLisa · 22/10/2020 21:15

@Lockdownfatigue

OP, I doubt Wales will notice.

I bet they will and will have police at the border. They may not let you in. Go tomorrow. The First Minister has said uni students are to stay put and not go home. The police won’t accept this as compassionate grounds.

You need to go and get your dd and tomorrow, being out of Wales by 6pm.

CremeEggThief you are actually abusive.

Which border would that be? There's an awful lot of "border" between England and Wales.

Collecting a vulnerable young person is compassionate grounds, anyway.

And even if you were actually going to Wales because you fancied petting some sheep, who's actually going to follow you and check?

Hellothere19999 · 22/10/2020 21:15

What @user1487194234 said.

Comefromaway · 22/10/2020 21:17

I take it you don’t live on the English/Welsh border Rona

Lockdownfatigue · 22/10/2020 21:22

The police, Rona. The same police who are stopping me from entering the next county which is only a few miles away.

Lockdownfatigue · 22/10/2020 21:24

Airports in Wales aren’t closed. They are open for essential travel. You can’t fly into Wales if you live in a tier 2 or 3 area of England. You can’t fly for holidays, either in or out.

Some smaller airports are closed. Cardiff is open.

Ignoringequally · 22/10/2020 21:25

@Lockdownfatigue

Oh yeah. That one road that goes between England and Wales

Don’t be a prick. There are a few major routes in and out but even within Wales there is a strong police presence policing (ha!) travel between counties and into England.

I’m guessing you don’t live in Wales?

Not any more, no. I did for 30 years but left 3 years ago. I don’t know anything though, I’m just a prick 🤷🏻‍♀️.
Ignoringequally · 22/10/2020 21:25

Oh and I was there yesterday visiting my terminally ill aunt. No road block.

Comefromaway · 22/10/2020 21:27

The same police who have informed an outdoor cinema in England that because the enclosed, fenced car park crosses the border and the toilets are technically in Wales they will enforce no one being able to cross the border to use the loo at the event.

MissEliza · 22/10/2020 21:28

Op, I've just read your post about your experience with alcoholic parents. While my parents were great later on, my dm was an alcoholic who only gave up when she almost died when I had just begun uni. I'll never forget the feeling of waiting at the church youth club in the dark at the age of 14, realising my dm wasn't coming because she was passed out drunk and having to walk three miles home. That's why I can never refuse my dcs when they ask for a lift!
To be fair to my dm, she made up for it later on so I'm very lucky but I know how it can influence your perspective.

VinylDetective · 22/10/2020 21:28

@Noideawottodo

Even in the car? I suppose not fair to make her get public transport
No. Not fair to all the other passengers. Ffs.
Lockdownfatigue · 22/10/2020 21:29

*Which border would that be? There's an awful lot of "border" between England and Wales.

Collecting a vulnerable young person is compassionate grounds, anyway*

There are really only a few major routes in and out of Wales. Here, there’s one route out really. And there are police at county boundaries too. They are stopping non local number plates. Like mine, even though I live here, because my car isn’t a local one.

I know one person who has been fined after being caught on camera crossing the county border.

If it’s anything like last time when I was stopped every time I got shopping in, chances of you not getting in are high and I would advise going tomorrow.

Also it’s not just guidelines, it’s an offence.

You might think collecting a vulnerable young person is compassionate grounds, the government don’t, and that’s who’s making the rules. Doesn’t matter what you or I think. Also the police tend to over reach their powers if anything and got very OTT during the last lockdown. If they don’t think you can come in, that’s that.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 22/10/2020 21:30

@Lockdownfatigue

Airports in Wales aren’t closed. They are open for essential travel. You can’t fly into Wales if you live in a tier 2 or 3 area of England. You can’t fly for holidays, either in or out.

Some smaller airports are closed. Cardiff is open.

What about non-uk destinations? Could you fly from outside of the UK into Wales?
Lockdownfatigue · 22/10/2020 21:32

Ignoringequally

Well, if you respond with sarcasm and eye rolls, that’s being a prick.

No road block yesterday because there’s no lockdown yet? Maybe they won’t be as OTT as last time. I bet they will though.

Lockdownfatigue · 22/10/2020 21:33

What about non-uk destinations? Could you fly from outside of the UK into Wales

Not for a holiday in the next two weeks. I presume otherwise yes, subject to the isolation requirement on arrival - but I don’t know for sure.

Comefromaway · 22/10/2020 21:34

My daughter has decided not to accept jobs in Wales even though the company she works for are desperate for people there because it’s just too much hassle.

Ignoringequally · 22/10/2020 21:35

@Lockdownfatigue

Ignoringequally

Well, if you respond with sarcasm and eye rolls, that’s being a prick.

No road block yesterday because there’s no lockdown yet? Maybe they won’t be as OTT as last time. I bet they will though.

No idea, I’m just a prick.
ZolaGrey · 22/10/2020 21:37

How is this even a question Hmm

ravensoaponarope · 22/10/2020 21:38

I'm feeling a bit shocked that you were afraid to sit in a car with her in case she is infectious yet are happy she has gone out for a Chinese where, if she is infectious, she could infect other people!

If you are coming to Wales to fetch her, as others have said, you have to come before 6pm tomorrow.

Original poster
Noideawottodo · 22/10/2020 22:00

My daughter’s flat mate was turned away at the Welsh border last week, before their lockdown.
Which road?

That's unfortunate as plenty of dds friends have been going in and out.

If i get turned away/fined/thrown in jail I'll take my chances

OP posts:
Original poster
Noideawottodo · 22/10/2020 22:04

I'm feeling a bit shocked that you were afraid to sit in a car with her in case she is infectious yet are happy she has gone out for a Chinese where, if she is infectious, she could infect other people!

I'm not in the slightest bit happy about it!

OP posts: