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AIBU?

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Original poster

Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

977 replies

8catsaremycoven · 21/10/2020 20:24

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 20:45

Breathing Space or the Samaritans can give immediate help to anyone struggling

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 20:47

Show me where I have done that, WouldBeGood? Because I haven't.

Underhisi · 23/10/2020 20:48

"Well, yes, that's obvious."

I don't think it is because if people are approaching people to say it they clearly are going closer than they need to be.

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 20:51

@Underhisi

"Well, yes, that's obvious."

I don't think it is because if people are approaching people to say it they clearly are going closer than they need to be.

I don't approach people - I say it to people who have come too close to me.
WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 20:52

Throughout this thread posters have been cruel and dismissive of horrific trauma; claiming posters are making it up to avoid mask wearing. Appointing themselves as arbiters of made up laws and suggesting that people who are exempt should not pop to the shop, and should be open to random questioning from strangers.

Try to imagine yourself in the circumstances of the op and other posters.

The risk of catching Covid and n a shop is tiny and I’d sure as hell take Covid over rape.

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 20:56

Throughout this thread posters have been cruel and dismissive of horrific trauma

Yes, and you are one of them, WouldBeGood. You've certainly been cruel and dismissive of mine.

I haven't been cruel or dismissive, either of the OP, or of others who have posted here about their trauma.

WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 21:02

You really have

Haenow · 23/10/2020 21:02

The chances of catching Covid as you pass someone in a supermarket at 1m distance is absolutely minuscule. This is why extremely clinically vulnerable people (even those of us who are very, very vulnerable indeed) haven’t been told to avoid all shops indefinitely.
I’d prefer everyone wore a mask, washed their hands, kept a distance and didn’t touch items they’re not buying but I recognise a small number of people are genuinely exempt.

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 21:06

@WouldBeGood

You really have
Then show me exactly where. if I agree with you that I've been cruel, even unthinkingly, I'll apologise. But I don't think I have.
ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 21:07

And in turn you can apologise for the unbelievably nasty and cruel things you;ve said to me WouldBeGood.

MarriedtoDaveGrohl · 23/10/2020 21:10

Who on this thread has actually had covid?

Apart from Archery Annie that is. Who continues to be affected by it.

I have friends, colleagues and acquaintances that know people directly (Or are related to) people that have died. I know more people indirectly that have died from this than I do cancer.

It's not some kind of abstract concept. A distant threat that may never be realised.

No one is threatening exempt people on this thread or condoning it.

I for one am saying it's sick that exempt people are willing to provide cover for the CBA to wear a mask brigade. And that despite being more at risk you seem hell bent on going anywhere you want whenever you want without thinking about your own enhanced risk. Screaming about it's your right to not wear a mask and no one should care which by extension means anyone who doesn't want to won't is just stupid.

How. Many. Times.

MarriedtoDaveGrohl · 23/10/2020 21:12

@WouldBeGood

I am far from stupid. You’re all ridiculous as you are setting yourselves up as purveyors of some sort of vigilante law to pick on and traumatise people with actual traumas. Bunch of cunts
Hm. No, not offensive at all. Or insulting.
AlphaJura · 23/10/2020 21:15

People saying 'wear a lanyard'. They're not much use when anyone can just print one off and wear one. I know someone who hasn't got a medical condition which prevents them wearing a mask, it's for ideological reasons, because she's said enough about it on fb. She has printed off the nhs 'exemption card' and bought herself a lanyard, to stop people questioning her. She's also told other people who don't want to wear a mask, that's what they have to do. They really should be signed off by a doctor because they're too easy to get. Makes it worse for people like the op who really can't wear a mask because at this rate, no one is going to believe anyone in a lanyard.

WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 21:19

Just have a think about other people and their difficulties

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 21:26

Well, yes, WouldBeGood. That goes for you too.

Stefoscope · 23/10/2020 21:33

I for one am saying it's sick that exempt people are willing to provide cover for the CBA to wear a mask brigade. Because I don't live inside another person's head. It's got buried under pages of 'maybe you could try a visor' etc comments but there was a comment from someone else who has PTSD after past rape but doesn't have a problem wearing a mask. She said she feels safer wearing one and feels angry that people are equating having PTSD with not being able to wear a mask and I can completely understand why she feels this way. Neither is the 'right' or 'wrong' answer and it illustrates the dilemma with self ID. It's such a unique situation and there's no ideal solution. It requires fitting people into 'boxes' or having a leap of faith that whilst some people will take the piss most people are inherently good and will try to take all the measures they are able to in order to protect others.

The thing which frustrates me is how this thread has turned from someone with a legitimate exemption sharing their unpleasant experience, perhaps with the hope of finding a little support, 'to yeah but some people don't wear masks properly, so it's understandable he would act the way he did'. The fact that some people are abusing the system is not the fault of people who are medically exempt and it's wrong to lump the two together, or suggest the exempt should wear lanyards, etc to identify themselves.

Haenow · 23/10/2020 21:34

@MarriedtoDaveGrohl

I was suspected to have Covid. I developed double pneumonia and was rather unwell. It knocked me for months.

I am extremely clinically vulnerable, wear a mask despite it causing respiratory discomfort and I abhor the anti-mask brigade but I do believe some people are truly exempt and that’s the law. That’s all there is to it. I cannot change their actions, only my own.

WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 21:34

I do. I feel sorry for you being so worried. But please, please just leave people alone now that you’ve seen what could be triggered.

I understand that people are worried. I wear my mask, I obey the law. But some people are exempt. Please think on the things you’ve read here.

I don’t want to be in the internet berating strangers for injustice. But my heart bleeds for the op and the others who’ve suffered/are suffering.

FreshFreesias · 23/10/2020 21:36

So sorry OP, YANBU.
He was a bully end of, and so are all the other pro mask fanatics who won’t except there are exemptions.

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 21:39

You are still dismissing thousands of deaths, long-term painful illnesses and disabilities, and my personal trauma, as "worried". Sorry, that's still bullshit.

I have said all along here, right from the start, that I understand and respect exemptions. You haven't listened.

Why don't you leave me alone? Or maybe apologise for calling me vile names, and constantly suggesting I have a mental illness?

WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 21:40

Have some fucking compassion for someone other than yourself

AnneElliott · 23/10/2020 21:42

The man'a a dickhead and I bet he wouldn't have approached a man in the same way.

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 21:44

@WouldBeGood

Have some fucking compassion for someone other than yourself
Right back atcha.

Why do some people matter and some don't, to you? They do to me, and I've expressed that on this thread. Why do you persist in claiming that you care about traumatised people, and then behaving like this?

IdkickJilliansass · 23/10/2020 21:46

I hate the way some people have become, worse than the disease itself.

Stefoscope · 23/10/2020 21:54

I hate the way some people have become, worse than the disease itself. Too true and and it's frightening how quickly and easily it has happened.

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