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AIBU?

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Original poster

Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

977 replies

8catsaremycoven · 21/10/2020 20:24

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 19:36

@Underhisi

"it is reasonable to ask people to put on a mask if they can, if you encounter someone not wearing a mask, or wearing it incorrectly."

Not if it means coming closer to people than you need to be, to say it.

Well, yes, that's obvious.
ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 19:39

PurpleDasies and WouldBeGood I think you both need to look again at your own posts, and your own lack of logical thought. You are banging the drum of "nobody else's business" about measures to avoid transmitting a virus that has already killed more than 44 thousand people in the UK this year.

Now that's stupid, and ridiculous.

MarriedtoDaveGrohl · 23/10/2020 19:49

@ArcheryAnnie

PurpleDasies and WouldBeGood I think you both need to look again at your own posts, and your own lack of logical thought. You are banging the drum of "nobody else's business" about measures to avoid transmitting a virus that has already killed more than 44 thousand people in the UK this year.

Now that's stupid, and ridiculous.

^ This. The lack of logic and critical thinking from some people astounds me. If only peoples stupidity put them^ at risk instead of those around them. I'd be perfectly fine with people not wearing masks if it had no impact on anyone but them. I don't give a damn if someone wants to take additional risks with their own lives.. but I do care if it means a shop assistant or a bus driver or a teacher dies.
WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 19:57

I am far from stupid. You’re all ridiculous as you are setting yourselves up as purveyors of some sort of vigilante law to pick on and traumatise people with actual traumas. Bunch of cunts

OwlBeThere · 23/10/2020 20:03

@stretchedmarks
No ones disability is more important than protecting the workers who have worked through the bloody pandemic, on the front line, since March, while everyone sat at home nice and cosy

That’s a weirdly presumptive statement that people who can’t wear masks haven’t ALSO been working through the pandemic, both my children who are mask exempt did. At least, Until the compulsory mask wearing came in and my daughter spiralled out of control with her ptsd.
There also seems to be some weird presumption that bring mask exempt means you either aren’t bothered about Covid, or don’t give a shit about other people. I can tell you that categorically that is not true. My children have a very medically vulnerable grandfather, who neither have seen in months as they are worried about passing it to him. My son with autism is terrified of Covid.
None of those things change the fact they can not tolerate masks. We have tried.
To answer the question about is the idea of a ventilator scary to them...yes of course it is! Id imagine that fear of being hit by a bus is scary to a person who can’t walk, it wouldn’t make them suddenly able to get out of the road though, would it?
If a mask came down on a crashing plane I suppose I’d have to decide which of my kids to physically pin down to traumatise and save their lives?

The fundamental lack of knowledge in how c-ptsd or ASD works is loud and clear here.

OwlBeThere · 23/10/2020 20:08

@MarriedtoDaveGrohl
If you knew the time I spend with an inconsolable teenager who now won’t leave the house out of fear of reprisals for her trauma you’d know how deeply hurtful your comment about not giving a fuck about supermarket workers is. She cares a great deal.

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 20:13

And yet you - who sets yourself up as so sympathetic to other people's trauma, WouldBeGood - completely ignore the stated actual trauma of people whose opinions you disagree with. I don't think much of an empathy that picks and chooses who matters in such a cold way.

Stefoscope · 23/10/2020 20:15

If someone runs towards you, brandishing a knife, would you say, eh, not my business? None of us is an island. The decisions each of us makes, on almost everything, affects other people around us.

Equally we can choose to treat others how we'd like to be treated ourselves. If the man in the OP saw her not wearing a mask and was genuinely concerned for his own health he could have found a different way past or waited for her to move or heaven forbid, politely said 'excuse me, please give me some extra space'. Instead the coward decided to mutter under his breath about her not wearing a mask. When she tried to explain why she wasn't able to wear a mask and he wasn't satisfied with her explanation, he took his frustrations out on her and by the sounds of it, didn't even back down once she was visably distressed and crying. Whilst she didn't owe the man an explanation and, in hindsight, it may have been wiser not to engage with him, it was not ok for him to behave in the way he did. The fact that some people are choosing not to wear masks simply because they don't want to is not the OP's fault nor her personal responsibility to problem solve in some way.

You may be capable of interacting politely with people who aren't wearing masks and that's great, thankyou for being a decent person, but that doesn't mean everyone else is the same or will have the same encounters as yourself. Presumably that's partly the reason the Government have been advising the general public not to challenge other members of the public who are not wearing masks. I believe the term used is to be 'respectful' of others, which hardly the scenario outlined in the OP. I've been fortunate not to encounter any idiots so far, but I can imagine it's distressing to want to be able to wear a mask, but not be able to and have someone accuse you of being personally responsible for the death of others. Pandemic or no pandemic, there's no excuse for being an areshole to someone else and as the OP demonstrates, some people will take the slightest opportunity they can to have a go at another person.

WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 20:16

@ArcheryAnnie no sympathy for those with an empathy bypass and taking the law into their own hands to suit some warped agenda.

I do think you need treatment for your health anxiety, hope you get well.

Macncheeseballs · 23/10/2020 20:19

Calling strangers on the internet 'a bunch of cunts' is pretty unstable too

WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 20:20

Not really when you see the horrible responses on this thread.

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 20:22

[quote WouldBeGood]@ArcheryAnnie no sympathy for those with an empathy bypass and taking the law into their own hands to suit some warped agenda.

I do think you need treatment for your health anxiety, hope you get well.[/quote]
Ah, yes, the person wishing that people would obey the law that protects people during a global pandemic is the one with a mental illness and a "warped agenda". Sure, Jan.

Macncheeseballs · 23/10/2020 20:23

They swore at you?

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 20:24

If we are talking "horrible responses". just take a look at your own posts, WouldBeGood.

WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 20:25

The people who are exempt are obeying the law,

How. Many. Times

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 20:27

And lots who aren't exempt are breaking the law, putting everyone else in danger.

How. Many. Times.

WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 20:28

🙄

WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 20:30

Some people have had a nasty virus Some people have been raped and tortured.

Quite the contrast.

The law exempts those people who can’t wear a mask from so doing.

thenightsky · 23/10/2020 20:30

@WouldBeGood

I am far from stupid. You’re all ridiculous as you are setting yourselves up as purveyors of some sort of vigilante law to pick on and traumatise people with actual traumas. Bunch of cunts
Yep. This.
thenightsky · 23/10/2020 20:31

@WouldBeGood

Some people have had a nasty virus Some people have been raped and tortured.

Quite the contrast.

The law exempts those people who can’t wear a mask from so doing.

And this.
ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 20:33

@WouldBeGood

Some people have had a nasty virus Some people have been raped and tortured.

Quite the contrast.

The law exempts those people who can’t wear a mask from so doing.

"nasty virus"

More than 44 thousand people dead.

Tens of thousands left with long-term, difficult, painful and frightening range of disabilities.

"nasty virus"

WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 20:41

@ArcheryAnnie i do think you need help

ArcheryAnnie · 23/10/2020 20:43

@WouldBeGood and I think you need to realise that trying to shut someone up by repeatedly accusing them of having a mental illness is a cheap, nasty and lazy way to discuss anything, much less such a serious subject as this.

WouldBeGood · 23/10/2020 20:45

As opposed to denying that someone has a mental illness or disability to fit with your own agenda?

thenightsky · 23/10/2020 20:45

ArcheryAnnie I'd choose to take my chances with that virus than a group of men intent on oral rape, actually.