Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

[8catsaremycoven]

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

@PurpleDaisies

What makes you say that *@bluethistles*?

Almost everyone is wearing them where I am.

Same here. Nearly everybody. We are medium risk here.

There is easy help @PinkSparklyPussyCat.
Lots and lots of cabbage. No one will hear your coughs😁

@SchrodingersImmigrant

There is easy help *@PinkSparklyPussyCat*. Lots and lots of cabbage. No one will hear your coughs😁

That made me laugh! I knew there was more chance of help on MN than from my GP!

PTSD isn't a self diagnosed condition even if OP isn't currently under M H team , (and so many who need to be arent and it doesn't make them any the less poorly), she has a diagnosis that is still relevant. A MH diagnosis doesn't suddenly expire or become null and void unless or until the patient recovers.

That last post of mine was directed @Dangermouseis42now

😂 and very high in vitamin c.

#cabbageblessings

No scarves, loose or otherwise, no hats, no sunglasses, no hair brushing my face (I have my hair very very short so the wind doesn't blow it and risk it brushing my face) no hoods, no shirts with collars, nothing even crew neck, all coat necklines sewn so that they don't accidentally brush my neck or face.

I've already gone into why I am restricted like this earlier in the thread (PTSD), lanyards aren't a thing where I live (not UK) nor is home delivery of shopping or click and collect.
Sadly for some of us there just is not an alternative to masks.
I had to give up the career I was training for, and loved, as I was no longer able to wear the lab goggles, I've had to give up my hobbies and more.
If there was something I could do as an alternative to a mask, I would do it - I hate feeling like a burden to society, and not being able to wear a mask or alternative brings back all of my shame and self disgust tenfold.

In a heartbeat I would ditch the PTSD if I could (who wouldn't?) but after twenty years of every kind of therapy under the sun, some of us have to accept that this is as good as it gets. That is a bitter pill to swallow, but I am luckier than many with PTSD, prior to Covid I had a peaceful, happy life, and I will do again.

@Saltandstars

No scarves, loose or otherwise, no hats, no sunglasses, no hair brushing my face (I have my hair very very short so the wind doesn't blow it and risk it brushing my face) no hoods, no shirts with collars, nothing even crew neck, all coat necklines sewn so that they don't accidentally brush my neck or face.

I've already gone into why I am restricted like this earlier in the thread (PTSD), lanyards aren't a thing where I live (not UK) nor is home delivery of shopping or click and collect.
Sadly for some of us there just is not an alternative to masks.
I had to give up the career I was training for, and loved, as I was no longer able to wear the lab goggles, I've had to give up my hobbies and more.
If there was something I could do as an alternative to a mask, I would do it - I hate feeling like a burden to society, and not being able to wear a mask or alternative brings back all of my shame and self disgust tenfold.

In a heartbeat I would ditch the PTSD if I could (who wouldn't?) but after twenty years of every kind of therapy under the sun, some of us have to accept that this is as good as it gets. That is a bitter pill to swallow, but I am luckier than many with PTSD, prior to Covid I had a peaceful, happy life, and I will do again.

@saltandstars, stories like yours and @8catsaremycoven s are heart breaking and why I feel so angry at those people who demand an explanation for non mask wearing or who insist that China is doing it so much better!

Those saying the vulnerable should stay at home, how are the vulnerable expected to go to work? If all medically vulnerable stay at home th e government would need to go back to working from home policy that we had in lockdow n earlier this year

The law states who is exempt and who isnt, not mumsnet. Thank goodness!

Thank you ThankHeavensForFuzzyDucks x

I am also a bit at the posters who seem to believe there is a hierarchy of prejudice. That ableism isn't as bad as racism. Seriously? All prejudice is wrong. I am shocked that anyone would admit to being so unwoke these days!

@NameChange9824

I have PTSD. I wear a lanyard and most people leave me alone, but one women did accost me in Tesco recently. I just told her that I'd been raped by a man who had covered my nose and mouth and put his hand around my throat as he fucked me and squeezed until I blacked out and since then I've not been able to cope with my mouth being covered. Was that OK with her?

She looked freaked out and ran away.

And if someone confronts me again, I'll do the same. If they want to start an uncomfortable conversation, I'll lean right in.

For what it's worth, I have tried to wear a mask. Repeatedly. I gave up after the fourth full blown meltdown panic attack. If shops bring in facial recognition software that doesn't let non mask users in, I guess I'll stay home and starve.

Sending so much love and support to you. Bloody bravo.

OP you heard it there from @SchrodingersImmigrant on page 26. Ableism is a safe prejudice!

I don't know what you are on about Helena🤷🏻

Yeah I know you dont.

Well. Never mind then.

As for the "vast majority" - how many deaths and long term illnesses are you prepared to think is not a problem? It's been estimated that Long Covid hits one in twenty people who get it - that's a huge chunk of the population to be made long term ill, needing extensive medical care, and being economically inactive for an extended period, even if you don't care about the people who die

Its like post viral syndrome never existed before covid.

Many viruses lead to long term health problems as do many (which many would consider low risk or no risk at all) other health conditions. Pregnancy is just one of them. I know people who have suffered years of the effects from being pregnant yet nobody ever considers that a risk when they want to have kids
Covid isnt sone unnatural virus its doing what all viruses do.

Asthma is not a good enough reason not to wear a mask given that the amount of air you get is the same and the short amount of time wearing it in a shop. My DSis has only got 30% lung capacity and still manages a mask while shopping..

@SecretSpAD why can you not wear a mask? Have you tried it? Given the air is the same what is the issue? I don’t know anyone with asthma who isn’t wearing a mask.

Op other reasons are very valid.

@SchrodingersImmigrant, well when you said:

Sorry but that is not comparable to hissing that you should wear a mask

That is an ableist comment. Hissing at disabled people is just as bad as hissing at black people.
So That’s where you decided ableism is ok.

Ableism. Haha here we go again. Jesus you are just so pathetic.

@NameChange9824 you are a rock star. Fucking good for you. You have to be a special kind of arsehole to say something to someone with a lanyard. I hope she goes away and tortures herself over what a stupid bitch she was. Pass that discomfort and humiliation baton straight to her.

This virus is really not bringing out the best in people.

Thank you @OwlBeThere I don't ahve it set in pages and wasn't going back through all that figuring out. That one time when copy and paste would be handy.

I don't agree it's ablesim nor that this situation is comparable to racism. Obviously we could argue our points for a while so I will leave it at this.

@Likeafriendivealwaysknown

Asthma is not a good enough reason not to wear a mask given that the amount of air you get is the same and the short amount of time wearing it in a shop. My DSis has only got 30% lung capacity and still manages a mask while shopping..

@SecretSpAD why can you not wear a mask? Have you tried it? Given the air is the same what is the issue? I don’t know anyone with asthma who isn’t wearing a mask.

Op other reasons are very valid.

But the OP has serious PTSD as well same as @Saltandstars and @NameChange9824. for the same reasons.

We are rightly being sympathetic to the above named posters but the OP is in the same situation as them yet she is getting a ton of grief? Why??

open way should you be shamed or bullied, that is wrong and i'm very sorry that happened to you

i work in retail and i'm supposed to manage this keeping everyone safe

retail staff are sitting ducks. people with out masks (and anyone can choose to wear one, its not the law as its open to interpretation with the 'exempt' clause)can come in touch everything, get close to us, whinge until we make an exception and let them use the toilets which are now staff only.

so we are there in work..people coming and going masked/unmasked.....and we have no choice, we have to put up with it, take the hit, and put our families at risk too.

would you all let a constant stream of people into your homes? even to just walk in the front door and out the back door....would you?

we are 9 or ten hours at work....constantly subjected to this.

Why are people glossing over the fact that the OP mentions PTS D from being choked and raped as a reason for her mask exemption?? She is legally exempt, serious mental health conditions that prohibit someone from wearing a face covering is exempt. Law says so.

And emphasising with others in the exact same situation as OP but then refusing to emphasise with her, that is unkind. I

The more I see of my fellow humans the more I prefer animals!

Am bowing out. This thread is making me angry.

What have we come to where we demand people with hidden disabilities show this by wearing lanyards and thinking it’s acceptable to berate strangers in public.

100% agree ThankHeavenForFuzzyDucks.
PTSD is extremely isolating, as are most of not all disabilities. Judging some more or less worthy just makes it crap for everyone.
My grandmother used to say that judgement is for God and small children, the former who knows everything, the latter who know no better.

OP thank you x