Page 28 | Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

Original poster

8catsaremycoven · 22/10/2020 18:25

I deliberately posted in AIBU to see what people thought. I knew that some people would disagree with me and my actions, but I was interested in their reasoning.

I'm not averse to being disagreed with as long as there is a valid argument behind the poster's point. I know it's divisive, but if I could physically tolerate a mask or visor I would wear one. I can't so I don't. I keep my distance from people and mind my own business.

Thank you for your support, especially those of you who have had similar experiences and shared them here.

Thank you also to the posters who have explained their reasoning and why they would/ wouldn't approach someone not wearing a mask.

I appreciate that by continuing to shop and then telling him I'm exempt as I passed him that I may not have been in the right but I couldn't bear the idea that he assumed that I just couldn't be bothered with wearing a mask. I wasn't prepared (as an incredibly brave PP was, apologies I don't have a note of your name 😢) to stand and explain my background to a stranger in public. The fact that I'm not wearing a mask and I'm asthmatic, wearing a mask brings on my asthma for some reason (heat possibly?) should have been enough for him. It wasn't.

OP posts:

Fgs1 · 22/10/2020 18:28

@ExemptFromMasksSupporter

For people saying it’s not like this in China, mask exemptions simply don’t exist there. Do we want to govern our country like China? Or shall we stick with living in a democratic society where human rights actually exist? I know what I’d prefer.

The mask police are really enjoying this opportunity to bully and belittle complete strangers. I hope it makes you feel good about yourselves.

@8catsaremycoven - I’m sending you and my good wishes. Please don’t let the narrow minded minority get you down. I support you and many other people do to.

Consider China is now back to normal and their economy is growing then yes. Too many people don’t know what’s good for them.

ArcheryAnnie · 22/10/2020 18:30

Stefoscope I have been talking about both non-mask-wearers and incorrectly-worn mask-wearers all along here.

I just went to tesco to pick up my prescription. A young man with no mask on at all came up in the queue behind me and stood a couple of feet away. I asked him (nicely) either to please put a mask on, or stand at least two meters away. He said he didn't have a mask (he didn't say he was exempt from a mask) but did move away. It was a perfectly friendly, reasonable interaction on both sides.

Sparticuscaticus · 22/10/2020 18:48

Having RTFT, I agree with other health abs social care pracs on here, OP isn't coming across as credible and balanced. She initiated an argument after followed him, and her reasoning is awry, - wtaf was her comparing it to racist abuse about??? He harass her, from what she said, surely the shop CCTV will show that she approached him

I don't agree with people harassing others if they aren't wearing masks, guessing at reason. Appreciate there are genuinely exempt people and far more people abusing the self Id exemption system, but he made a comment about mask wearing near her. She triggered the rest by her own account , no way did she make a single comment cos she says elsewhere extra things she said about having asthma- her own violation! Hardly the actions of someone who now resents the intrusion. Probably without any obvious fight to breathe , that causes a tiny % of asthmatic people to be unable to tolerate masks.

I've sat with people after their loved ones have died excruciatingly from Covid, so the reality is we don't know why he commented or the trauma he may have seen or whether he was a shielding man fed up with people not being safe and wearing masks. Or a nosey Parker.

Likewise he had no idea of the ptsd OP said she has experienced

Pp are getting carried away and OPs incident is not the same as others bad experiences . I wouldn't base any indignation on OPs story, where I would on other's

Spikeyball · 22/10/2020 19:06

"I asked him (nicely) either to please put a mask on, or stand at least two meters away."

Everyone should stand at least 2m away when possible. Even when someone is wearing a mask they shouldn't be a couple of feet away when they don't need to be.

MarriedtoDaveGrohl · 22/10/2020 19:19

A colleague of mine who is usually the most even tempered person ever gets furious about non mask wearing and has even said sonething to people - a couple in their 30s who had masks on their chin while just did not give a shit.

But then two of her friends have died from it. And I know if they offered a reason instead of acting dumb she would apologise.

It's a very divisive topic. It pisses me right off but I'm aware some people can't wear them. But it really would be better if those that can't wore lanyards. It would raise awareness. But as ever there's a million reasons why people can't/won't do that either.

RegularHumanBartender · 22/10/2020 19:29

All of the people who are loving the masks; when this is all over, will you keep wearing your magic mask? After all, the common cold can be awful for many people, and as we know many 1000s die of bog standard flu every single year. If these glittery bits of cloth are so very effective then surely you'll never take the thing off. You couldn't possibly be SO selfish as to risk passing on a cold to someone vulnerable, could you?

Plmoknijb123 · 22/10/2020 19:41

That guy was a dickhead. He just wanted to intimidate a woman, it wasn’t actually about the mask or he would have stuck around to hear your reason.

Macncheeseballs · 22/10/2020 19:43

What about a polo/roll neck jumper pulled up?

OwlBeThere · 22/10/2020 19:56

What makes people think of a person can’t tolerate a mask, that a jumper/scarf/labradoodle will be any different?
Genuine question.

BlueThistles · 22/10/2020 20:53

All of the people who are loving the masks; when this is all over, will you keep wearing your magic mask? After all, the common cold can be awful for many people, and as we know many 1000s die of bog standard flu every single year. If these glittery bits of cloth are so very effective then surely you'll never take the thing off. You couldn't possibly be SO selfish as to risk passing on a cold to someone vulnerable, could you?

this thread has found a new level of crassness 🙄

OwlBeThere · 22/10/2020 20:53

@JingsMahBucket

8catsaremycoven
@Dangermouseis42now

Had he hissed a racist comment at me would you still think that I should have sucked it up?!

I didn't re-engage, I gave him a single PA comment as I went about my business in exactly the same manner and tone that he used to me.
Oooooooh, that (likely) white privilege is blinding!

Well I’m not white and I agree with her 100% ableism is just as dangerous as racism.

The wear a lanyard/show willing with a visor/expect to get shouted at then is very victim blaming.
The OP was approached first, anything and everything that happened there after is purely the fault of the man who (By the guidelines he’s so keen on upholding) is not allowed to ask her to wear a mask, nor is anyone allowed to know her medical history. The end. Period. No but, if, maybes. Not his place.

NeverAMillionMilesAway · 22/10/2020 21:06

@Macncheeseballs

What about a polo/roll neck jumper pulled up?

Really? You can't think someone who can't stand something over their mouth and nose for the reasons outlined in the OP is going to better with something that's also over their neck?

Macncheeseballs · 22/10/2020 21:09

So no woolly scarves on a cold day then?

PurpleFrames · 22/10/2020 21:12

I am medically exempt also. In the first few weeks of compulsory masks I was regularly abused. I had to report an incident to the police after a security guard actually removed me from the store. We need more rights in law- the "worried well" are terrorising us.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 22/10/2020 21:14

@Macncheeseballs

So no woolly scarves on a cold day then?

I don't and I haven't experienced the same as the OP so I can understand why she can't. I can't bear anything tight around my neck or face. I can't even bear the duvet pulled up near my face. I wear a mask for the minimum amount of time and spend half the time fiddling with it and pulling it away from my face.

Macncheeseballs · 22/10/2020 21:19

But you can cover up the lower half of ones face with a loose scarf, it doesn't have to be tight

ArcheryAnnie · 22/10/2020 21:21

@RegularHumanBartender

All of the people who are loving the masks; when this is all over, will you keep wearing your magic mask? After all, the common cold can be awful for many people, and as we know many 1000s die of bog standard flu every single year. If these glittery bits of cloth are so very effective then surely you'll never take the thing off. You couldn't possibly be SO selfish as to risk passing on a cold to someone vulnerable, could you?

Don't be an arsehole. Nobody is "loving" the masks - we wear them because it helps to prevent us unknowingly infecting other people with a potentially deadly disease. They aren't magic, but they do help - as does social distancing, hand washing, and all the rest of it.

In some places in the world it is the norm to wear a mask when going out, if you have a cold, as a courtesy to other people. But I've had a lot of colds in my life, and I've only had covid once (so far) and I can state with a great deal of authority that there is no comparison at all.

BlueThistles · 22/10/2020 21:23

I fear the point of Masks is null and void now.. just get rid of them all.. let everyone get infected .. if you survive good on you .. 🌺

PurpleDaisies · 22/10/2020 21:24

What makes you say that @bluethistles?

Almost everyone is wearing them where I am.

Haenow · 22/10/2020 21:30

@ArcheryAnnie

But your cold can be as harmful to people like me as Covid and I don’t expect everyone to wear a mask indefinitely. Fortunately, covid is not serious for the vast majority. I wear a mask, by the way, so I’m not arguing against them, just recognise there are some genuine exemptions.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 22/10/2020 21:37

Funnily there were quite few people with spring allergies in my family who laughed that they might wear them every spring because their symptoms were so much lighter.
The way things are going there, they might still have them mandatory at that time anyway

ArcheryAnnie · 22/10/2020 21:39

Haenow there's a relative risk - almost everything we do can be harmful to other people in some way, whether we personally witness it or not. The relative risk posed by a cold, and by covid, are very different. This isn't controversial at all.

As for the "vast majority" - how many deaths and long term illnesses are you prepared to think is not a problem? It's been estimated that Long Covid hits one in twenty people who get it - that's a huge chunk of the population to be made long term ill, needing extensive medical care, and being economically inactive for an extended period, even if you don't care about the people who die.

ThankHeavenForFuzzyDucks · 22/10/2020 21:39

@8catsaremycoven

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

@8catsaremycoven

Am so sorry you were out through that. Some people are just nasty.

You DO have a legitimate exemption. Hold your head up high. You aren't at fault here. I hope you are able to do something nice for yourself this weekend.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 22/10/2020 21:40

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Funnily there were quite few people with spring allergies in my family who laughed that they might wear them every spring because their symptoms were so much lighter. The way things are going there, they might still have them mandatory at that time anyway

I cough with my allergies and they have been worse this year, especially when I'm wearing a mask. I just hope I don't meet some of the posters on here as I'm coughing away (while wearing a mask and coughing into my elbow obviously)!