Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

[8catsaremycoven]

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

@Janevaljane

Surely having a lanyard would be very satisfying, you could just wave it at anyone who moaned with a sarcastic smile. No conversation needed

You think people challenging people for non mask wearing will be satisfied with a lanyard?

What proof do you think needs to be on the end of it? Or is a string of sunflowers going to be enough to ward off busybodies in Aldi?

@JingsMahBucket actually I'm mixed race, cheers for the white privileged assumption though 👍🏼

You think people challenging people for non mask wearing will be satisfied with a lanyard?

Some will, yes. Some people challenging will be genuinely worried, not just out for a fight.

@Janevaljane

You think people challenging people for non mask wearing will be satisfied with a lanyard?

Some will, yes. Some people challenging will be genuinely worried, not just out for a fight.

Exactly.

The lanyards to show you are exempt don’t put people off in much the same way not wearing a mask doesn’t put people off. People would rather assume the worst. See the thought process:

Eg: Person doesn’t have a mask. Rather than assume they are exempt, assume they are being a twat and question them. When they say they are exempt, ignore this and abuse them.

Eg: Person has a lanyard. Rather than assume they are exempt, assume they’ve bought it because they’re a bit fakey faker, and question them. When they say they are exempt, ignore this and abuse them.

[quote 8catsaremycoven]@JingsMahBucket actually I'm mixed race, cheers for the white privileged assumption though 👍🏼[/quote]
Then that makes your previous comment worse - trying to pretend it was comparable to racist abuse

I note you ignore anyone who is expressing concerns about your response and behaviour , when these are genuine and far more helpful to you to reflect on than what's going on here for you instead. On the basis of what you've told us.

People who go around telling folk to put a mask on... what do you think you're actually achieving? Attempting to have some control over the actions of others for the 'greater good'. I understand the logic and think the motivation comes from a good place, but it's ridiculous to think they're going to force others to behave how they want them to just because they ask them to!

Eh, I have found that asking nicely for people to cover their noses has mostly got good results.

Eh, I have found that asking nicely for people to cover their noses has mostly got good results. So they were wearing a mask incorrectly then, rather than not wearing one at all. A medically exempt person isn't likely to be walking around wearing a mask around their chin are they!

@Dangermouseis42now

It's an example of how people are singled out because of their appearance - be that my colour or my lack of mask.

Had he hissed a racist comment at me would you still think that I should have sucked it up?!

but he didn't OP ..

All of those who keep banging on about how only those who are exempt are not wearing masks, do you accept that as the exemption is entirely self defined saying someone is exempt is essentially meaningless? Unless the category of exempt has some sort of meaningful definition it is completely useless.

All of those who don't think anyone should be challenged or even commented upon. Do you believe that all non mask wearers are exempt and if not which are the ones you would define as exempt and which as not? How would you separate people into these categories?

@lemonsandlimes123

Indeed.

For a website whose patrons generally don't approve if people self id changes in gender, because they (rightly IMO) see the risks of self id, to be totally for self id when it comes to masks, thus ignoring the risks of people misusing this, it seems very hypocritical.

t.co/ArgUIL77B3?ssr=true

There's a lot of very rude and selfish people about in supermarkets lately. I had one woman shout at me for bringing my children in!

[quote 8catsaremycoven]@Dangermouseis42now

It's an example of how people are singled out because of their appearance - be that my colour or my lack of mask.

[/quote]
It's not the same

One is National guidance protecting everyone and the NHS , and a man taking it upon himself to comment generally about wearing masks near your direction in a supermarket
'People Should wear a mask' is hardly abuse

I don't think he should have said anything but he didn't come up and harass you . You later approached him and initiated the rest and you still fail to see your part in it.

The other .. is .. racism

Are you this disingenuous in other matters?

The people I encounter without a mask I assume are exempt. Otherwise they would wear a mask. I know a small percentage will be adopting a cavalier approach.

What I think is a bigger worry are those that wear a mask but constantly fiddle with it pulling it about. And they are a far bigger number than those that don't wear masks at all.

"All of those who don't think anyone should be challenged or even commented upon"

From what I can see people are saying it should be left to those whose job it is and not random people who might decide to do things like target people who are in a particular group because they think they now have a legitimate reason to be unpleasant and harass them.

OP I'm really sorry about what happened to you, but why is it not possible to wear some sort of face shield... Like a plastic visor for instance?

I was thinking about this earlier, I'm sure there aren't exemptions in China, people either fall in line or don't go out... It would be as simple as that. There are too many people not wearing a mask and it takes the piss out of the system.

I would never actually confront anyone about it as whats the point, but since you put it here in AIBU, then thats what this place is for. Its to discuss/debate the issue. Maybe you wanted a support forum

For people saying it’s not like this in China, mask exemptions simply don’t exist there.
Do we want to govern our country like China? Or shall we stick with living in a democratic society where human rights actually exist? I know what I’d prefer.

The mask police are really enjoying this opportunity to bully and belittle complete strangers. I hope it makes you feel good about yourselves.

@8catsaremycoven - I’m sending you and my good wishes. Please don’t let the narrow minded minority get you down. I support you and many other people do to.

Even in China, Japan and Hong Kong there is not 100% compliance, although it is a lot higher than here.

He sounds like a bully 🤬

😂 we don’t live in China.
People in the uk can self Id by not wearing a mask!