Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

[8catsaremycoven]

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

[quote Dowser]@Dangermouseis42now

I did read the OP

This doesn’t sound a polite request to me.
I’m quite surprised it does to you.

Maybe that is considered polite in your part of the world, I don’t know!

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.[/quote]
I have no idea why you directed that at me ?? RTFT or at least read my posts properly without inventing things

I did not say "polite request" at any point

The whole reason you directed that at me, wasn't even anywhere near what I said!!

my remarks stated he commented in general near her about not wearing a mask and she later approached him to re-engage with him.. I specifically stated none if that is what anyone would want

My comments have been mostly reflecting concern at the level of misunderstanding about legislation, guidance, disability, EA and who is genuinely medically exempt as physically or psychologically unable to wear a paper mask under the guidance

If you feel medical professionals have it all wrong , then you clearly don't need to hear our perspective & dismay at what we are seeing - which is that too high a proportion of people are unnecessarily claiming exemptions to mask wearing misinterpreting Covid guidance, where there is no medical reason they could not wear a mask- All of which is preventing control of infection rates and spread, and our concern about impact of that

However I seem now to be caught in the MN unhealthy loop of people misquoting and berating others who have carefully explained something because they disagree with something they misread or have imagined mistakenly from another's comments.

I shall respectfully retire at that point

This has been happening so much. Since the mask thing came in, DH has been challenged 4 times, despite wearing the lanyard (he actually has a doctors note too about it, as he got in on the first day and paid 50 quid for the privelage..), and not one of them 'just asking' but being a little aggressive. One actually walked right up to him so their faces were cms apart to shout at him about it, which makes perfect sense. If she was so concerned about how dangerous he could potentially be, she could have left the distance between them (he distances more than needed a lot, specically as he knows some are worried about non-maskers) surely..shouting in someones face is a ridiculous thing to do, expecially whilst moaning about 'the rules' as she broke one herself by doing that!

I suspect some are just latching onto it as an excuse to be arseholes to others. Some might be concerned, and I understand that, however, it always seems to be those who seem intent on causing argments who do it, rather than someone just asking the reasons why or something.

@Haenow

There are various threads about people who’ve been challenged by members of the public for not wearing a mask. However, it doesn’t seem the nosy members of the public are challenging those who are incorrectly wearing masks. I see so many people who fiddle with their masks, wear it under their nose, wear it on their chin, admit they never wash it (if it’s reusable) and throw it next to a bin as opposed to in the bin etc. I’ve had various hospital appointments recently and I noticed a number of staff members wearing their masks under their nose. Talk about ridiculous and putting themselves at hugely increased risk, surely?!

However, it doesn’t seem the nosy members of the public are challenging those who are incorrectly wearing masks

Yes. One of the guys challenging DH actually had his mask under his nose, over his mouth, but not on right obviously. When Dh pointed this out after a few mins of being deathstared and snide 'under the breath' comments, the guy said he was doing it right, no idea why others are covering their noses also as that would be uncomfortable, these people with them over their noses are just as stupid as those who don't wear them at all..yadayadayada

"Use a lanyard to indicate you are exempt."

That won't stop the sort of person who hisses at people although I expect he wouldn't have done it to someone who was bigger than him.

However I seem now to be caught in the MN unhealthy loop of people misquoting and berating others who have carefully explained something because they disagree with something they misread or have imagined mistakenly from another's comments

This gets so boring.

"I prefer mangoes to oranges"

"So basically what you are saying is that you hate oranges? You also failed to mention pineapples, bananas and grapefruits. Educate yourself!"

@Janevaljane

However I seem now to be caught in the MN unhealthy loop of people misquoting and berating others who have carefully explained something because they disagree with something they misread or have imagined mistakenly from another's comments

This gets so boring.

"I prefer mangoes to oranges"

"So basically what you are saying is that you hate oranges? You also failed to mention pineapples, bananas and grapefruits. Educate yourself!"

Well put

Sadly I stole it from a friend's FB post a while ago so cannot claim as my own. Bloody apt for this site though.

Yes I do think athsma is a perfectly good reason not to wear one. However since we asked our students to wear a mask the student population with athsma seems to have grown massively. Including one girl who insisted on wearing one when we weren't allowing it (weeks ago, and following government guidelines) but as soon as we told them to wear one stated she couldn't as she had athsma. Couple that with the fact that we have students refusing, some from families who insist they are "dangerous" and that 25% of our staff are off either with a positive diagnosis (including me) or having to self-isolate I do understand peoples anxiety around it.

@Saltandstars as the mother of a child who endured something similar I promise you that you are not better off dead. You are fucking amazing and you deserve all the best in life ❤️

A disproportionate number of people are claiming exemption to mask wearing and they do indeed manage to wear them in hospital fir clinic appointments and tests.

People keep saying this. Where is your evidence that the same people aren’t wearing masks to Lidl but they are to A and E?

Thank you @OwlBeThere and I am so, so sorry your child had to endure that x

However, it doesn’t seem the nosy members of the public are challenging those who are incorrectly wearing masks.

Well, I do, Haenow - and most people do pull their masks over their noses when politely asked to. A few ignore, and a few get abusive, but most just tug their mask up.

Thank you @Saltandstars

@ArcheryAnnie
Nice as you’ve been to salt and stars
You’re still not getting it are you.

Just the very fact that , you think with your. So called ‘ Legal right , you should ask someone who has undergone such trauma that most of us could Never imagine, to put on a mask , you’re poking your bloody nose into somewhere where it’s not wanted.
And that Could be enough to send her into a meltdown.

Does your so called ‘ legal right’ Trump hers, no it fucking doesn’t
And nobody should feel forced to wear an exemption lanyard to protect her from nosey Parker’s like you.

Why do you think you have a right to do that.

You don’t.
Desist!

What about the woman on the door at Sainsbury's? Asking people to wear masks and if they are exempt, why? Is she not allowed to do her job in case she triggers someone?

@PurpleDaisies

A disproportionate number of people are claiming exemption to mask wearing and they do indeed manage to wear them in hospital fir clinic appointments and tests.

People keep saying this. Where is your evidence that the same people aren’t wearing masks to Lidl but they are to A and E?

If you read my posts you will see that where I may get that evidence from and my role RTFT

It's just as I said....at the end of my last comment .... the righteous MNers unhealthy endless circle of picking imaginary points from posts they have misread or imagined unwritten points from & can't be bothered to read

No point really for HCPs to take time to carefully explain to people

@Janevaljane

What about the woman on the door at Sainsbury's? Asking people to wear masks and if they are exempt, why? Is she not allowed to do her job in case she triggers someone?

She needs retraining if she’s asking people why they are exempt.

Sainsbury's lady can ask people to wear the masks, but she's not allowed to ask why if their reply is "I'm exempt"

@Saltandstars and @OwlBeThere

💐💐💐to you both, and to your daughter Owl 💐💐💐

We're survivors not victims and that's why I couldn't ignore him hissing at me - if I had let him go unchallenged I would have been a victim. I just wanted him to understand that I had reasons not to be wearing a mask.

For all of you panicking about my choosing fruit, I was visually inspecting nets of satsumas and only touched the one I chose! To make it worse I then LOOKED (without touching!) at the apples AND pears as I couldn't immediately decide which to get...I only touched the bag of pears I bought 👍🏼

I am not a one-woman walking pandemic, I am not coughing and sneezing over people or produce, I'm just in a difficult position (as we all are) and trying to keep myself, my family and everyone else as safe as I can.

[quote Dowser]@ArcheryAnnie
Nice as you’ve been to salt and stars
You’re still not getting it are you.

Just the very fact that , you think with your. So called ‘ Legal right , you should ask someone who has undergone such trauma that most of us could Never imagine, to put on a mask , you’re poking your bloody nose into somewhere where it’s not wanted.
And that Could be enough to send her into a meltdown.

Does your so called ‘ legal right’ Trump hers, no it fucking doesn’t
And nobody should feel forced to wear an exemption lanyard to protect her from nosey Parker’s like you.

Why do you think you have a right to do that.

You don’t.
Desist![/quote]
I've already explained on this thread just a little of the trauma that I've undergone in the last seven months. I am not alone in experiencing that trauma. I don't know if I will ever be fully well again.

What gives you the right to stop me trying to avoid a recurrence of that trauma? What gives you the right to stop me trying to prevent that happening to other people around me, who may feel more hesitation in speaking up?

Sainsbury's lady can ask people to wear the masks, but she's not allowed to ask why if their reply is "I'm exempt"

I'm sure she's "allowed" to actually, although I doubt she would. If saying you are exempt is fine then the OP can do that can't she? No need for all the hysterical over reaction bollocks from Dowsr

OP

We're survivors not victims and that's why I couldn't ignore him hissing at me - if I had let him go unchallenged I would have been a victim. I just wanted him to understand that I had reasons not to be wearing a mask.

You weren't this man's victim, you had no imperative to feel you had to later approach or tell him you were exempt or why.

You approached and re-engaged with him.

I'm not sure how healthy this was for you or that your reactions are. People have been talking at cross purposes in his thread and I hope you are able to talk to someone without the bravado that you stood up to a man in supermarket who made a comment about National guidance.

Covid is a viral pandemic, his comments would have reflected fear and anxiety which you know nothing about, the same

@ArcheryAnnie
Quote

Quote
What gives you the right to stop me trying to avoid a recurrence of that trauma? What gives you the right to stop me trying to prevent that happening to other people around me, who may feel more hesitation in speaking

You’re still not getting it are you?
You’re being a nosey Parker.
None of your business.

It is my business when it directly affects me, Dowser. If you don't understand that, then you don't understand how this virus is transmitted. None of your childish insults will change that.

@Janevaljane

Well you try and stop her from being a nosey Parker then.

And op
Hopefully sainsbury staff will do it a bit more sympathetically than an angry man, hissing a command such as ..you should be wearing a mask at you.