Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

[8catsaremycoven]

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

In London I've been on buses where it's a minority wearing masks at all, and half of those are worn with the nose hanging out.

On the tube there's always quite a few with their noses hanging out, or their masks on their chin. One person last time I went into work wore a mask but pulled it off to talk loudly (therefore spraying) with her friend opposite. He didn't bother with a mask at all.

Anytime I go to the supermarket there are tons of people not wearing masks at all, or wearing them incorrectly. It's certainly possible that, say, the six young builders who have just walked in, in a group, to buy their lunch, all have medical exemptions, but I have to say it's not very likely.

@WouldBeGood

Those questioning non mask wearers are in fact those breaking the law under the equality act

No he didn't and nor is anyone else

Read the OP

He made one general comment about not wearing a mask in passing , she approached him later and engaged , he didn't approach her nor demand to know any details of hidden disabilities nor harass for 'being disabled' . What he commented on was Covid National guidance and we have no idea if he was shielding or a disabled person himself. OP was upset , he was upset when she went past him and engaged, and it doesn't sound great exchange. No one wants that

But no breach of equality act here, no one on here , nor in that shop by service provider , treated her unfavourably as a "disabled person". We only know information OP has shared -

So in general - unlikely to meet criteria for disability registration unless under MH services for ptsd: Asthma is generally not a registrable disability unless it's severe a asthma and impacting significantly on someone's day to day activities of living

A mere 3.6% of asthma patients are severe, and so meet shielding criteria - and of even those shielding extremely vulnerable group many are able to wear masks. We know that because they do at clinic.

You'd know we would medically advise not to- the nasal cannula to oxygen tank or severe wheezing and shortness of breath as they walk short distances tends to tip others off.

Panicking and having an asthma attack because you don't like the feel or discomfort of wearing a mask is not a disability and if they are using the disposable paper masks , it is not the mask itself limiting oxygen intake.

People are really stretching what they understand as disability and the equality act here!

I'd be really interested to hear about mask compliance in various countries.

OP hope you're not put off going out by this though.

"Or who wear masks, despite medical conditions that could exempt them, and are put at risks by the selfishness of others."

If they can wear a mask they are not exempt.

I wonder what the reaction on here would usually to a man hissing things at a woman.
Do we excuse other intimidating and abusive behaviour with the excuse it is ok because.....

I’m so sorry that happened to you OP.
I have been verbally abused for it too.. first time leaving the house since having having DS3 and went to the local pub garden for a bite too eat. 4 weeks postpartum and I just had to get out but wasn’t up for walking far (birth injury). I didn’t go in the pub, just sat outside at a table in far corner, DH went inside once for the loo and wore a mask for that. While he was in the toilet a man walked past several times for no apparent reason and the third tome snarled at me over his shoulder while I was breastfeeding the baby.. ‘Where’s your mask then eh?’ and walked off into the pub shaking his head. Normally I would’ve given him a mouthful but I was feeling very vulnerable and raw.
Also was in the supermarket recently and saw an woman get verbally abused by an extremely passive aggressive male because she wasn’t wearing a mask. Happily two people backed her up and told the man to wind his neck in. For sure one of the most horrifying aspects of this pandemic has been how people have been behaving towards each other.. misplaced anger being channelled in the wrong places. The evidence is there that masks are doing bugger all anyway, probably making things worse.

The evidence is there that masks are doing bugger all anyway, probably making things worse.

Where is this evidence, Lesserspottedmama?

@Dowser

Ffs pumpkin People did obey the rules. Have you forgotten already , none went out because there was nowhere to go

REMEMBER.
Everyone did obey the rules.

@Dowser @WouldBeGood No they didn’t wear masks at a high rate! This is why there was such wide community spread in England in particular. People also didn’t social distance properly and kept going to each other’s houses. This is what non-UK people keep trying to tell you. Doing this stuff at 60% or 80% compliance just leads to more infections. As I stated before, a lot of the people in US red states didn’t heed the warnings and they had about 60% compliance. Their cases are now surging. The same thing is happening in parts of the UK, mostly in England due to similar poor compliance rates.

Switch to online shopping or click and collect.

This bugs me when people say this as if online shopping always goes perfectly, nothing arrives damaged or dated, and everything was in stock 😂

There is nothing to stop people bothering those who cannot wear masks but don't complain about being told to fuck off.

As I keep on saying, there is trauma on both sides, and reasonable expectations on both sides that other people should stick to the rules, in an effort to keep everyone as safe as possible, while also doing our best to allow as many people as possible to navigate public life.

Why is it about 'sides' though? If someone isn't wearing a mask and isn't social distancing and coughing all over you, then yes obviously you would be quite right to say something to them. But if someone is keeping a distance from you why wouldn't the default be to assume they have a valid exemption and get on with your day. Mask wearing is just one measure the Government have implemented alongside hand washing and distancing. I encounter plenty of people who enter my shop in dirty masks who fiddle with them and look like they haven't washed their hands in a few days. The few who have come in not wearing masks have largely been the ones who don't lean over the counter and will sanitise their hands. The type who aren't wearing masks just because they don't want to aren't going to have an epiphany and start wearing one because a stranger tells them they should.

Take a look at the amount of posters who aren't satisfied by the OP saying they weren't wearing a mask because they are exempt. Asking if she has a letter from the doctor, telling her she should get a lanyard or a visor, etc.

Categorising society into those who wear masks and those who are exempt, those who have had Covid and/or have lost loved ones , those who haven't, what does it actually achieve? I understand this type of thinking is natural when people are plunged into a situation where they have little control of their environment. However, when you read reports of people physically attacking others for not wearing a mask, you have to question the society we're living in.

Or who wear masks, despite medical conditions that could exempt them, and are put at risks by the selfishness of others.

If they can wear a mask then they are not exempt whatever their condition.

@Sockwomble

"Or who wear masks, despite medical conditions that could exempt them, and are put at risks by the selfishness of others."

If they can wear a mask they are not exempt.

I wonder what the reaction on here would usually to a man hissing things at a woman.
Do we excuse other intimidating and abusive behaviour with the excuse it is ok because.....

you are completely missing the point...

The could call themselves exempt, but they are not selfish individuals.

Actually, in this country, I could decide I am exempt because I am not in the mood for wearing a mask. It is as stupid as it sounds.

That was a very delayed cross post.

@TheGreatWave

Or who wear masks, despite medical conditions that could exempt them, and are put at risks by the selfishness of others.

If they can wear a mask then they are not exempt whatever their condition.

Anyone can wear a mask 😂 that's the point. Some just chose not to.

Exemptions seem to miraculously disappear in hospital of all places!

I haven’t read all 22 pages, so may have missed this, but why can’t people who can’t wear masks wear visors instead? They’re not offering the same level of protection to others as masks do, but they’re still offering some protection.

I think you should try a visor.

@ArcheryAnnie
And I’ll ask the same of you.

Nobody has the LEGAL right to challenge any non snotty rag wearer
Because if you do your ate breaking the law

Law trumps your ‘perceived‘ right Every day.

Look it up.

Honestly some people are as thick as mince

@JingsMahBucket cases are not soaring because of non compliance,

They are ridding because it’s a virus which is endemic and impossible to eradicate.

@PumpkinetChocolat
Exemptions seem to miraculously disappear in hospital of all places!

EXACTLY. Miraculous, isn’t it? 🧐😏

[quote WouldBeGood]@JingsMahBucket cases are not soaring because of non compliance,

They are ridding because it’s a virus which is endemic and impossible to eradicate.[/quote]
Go have a chat with Jacinda Ardearn and the rest of New Zealand then.

In fact, cases have risen lot more since masks were compulsory.

But none of that matters, as like it or not there are legal exemptions.

I am sure I read that France made it mandatory to wear a mask when giving birth. That can't have been comfortable I give you that, but it seems that all the patients managed....

I wouldn't be happy if the medical team operating on one of my kid was refusing to wear a mask either

Jacinda Ardem has not eradicated it as it will come back as soon as the borders open

"Anyone can wear a mask 😂 that's the point. Some just chose not to.

Exemptions seem to miraculously disappear in hospital of all places!"

Ds is exempt from wearing a mask at all medical appointments. Your lack of education and life experience is showing there.

It doesn’t matter what you think about surgical masks.

The law is the law.

Stay in if you don’t like it.