Verbally attacked for not wearing a mask

[8catsaremycoven]

Wow, had a great experience in Lidl today - I was verbally abused and intimidated by a bloke in his 40s for not wearing a mask.

I'm minding my own business, choosing some fruit for DHS when random angry bloke walks past and hisses "You should be wearing a mask ". He doesn't stop and ask me directly why I'm not wearing a mask, just walks past me and says it in an undertone.

I catch up with him because he's browsing and tell him I'm exempt because I'm asthmatic. Apparently anyone can claim to be exempt and it's my personal fault that people are dying?! I told him that I wished that I was able to wear a mask to protect myself if nothing else, he just carried on ranting at me. No security guards in the store, other shoppers just stood and watched. I ended up crying in frustration and walking away.

I can't wear a mask because of my asthma but I also suffer from PTSD because an XH put a pillow over my face and raped me.

Am I expected to explain everything to anyone?

YABU - get over everything, risk a major asthma attack and wear a mask

YANBU - asthma is enough to excuse me from wearing a mask let alone my other reasons, which I don't feel I should have to explain to anyone

Bring it on, I'm sure someone is going to roast me but I truly hope that you're going to be behind me.

I left the shop shaking and in tears

But this man followed the OP around the store harassing her. So I suspect the chances of him being an abusive asshat, using the crisus as an excuse to impose his power upon women are quite high.

I do have a retort for men like this who harass me in public (I'm small and slight and seem to attract them even outwith crisus times).

I make them repeat what they have said and then repeat it in a questioning tone, more slowly. Then I say "this isn't Afghanistan and you aren't the fucking Taliban. Piss off".

It's incredibly effective. Fortunately, although small and slight, I have a very loud voice.

Apologies to anyone from Afghanistan!

If someone is breaking the law in a way that is putting my safety, and the safety of other people, at risk, then it is perfectly reasonable, and perfectly legal, for me to raise this with them. if they are one of the very small number of people for whom the action they are taking is not illegal, then they can tell me so. It doesn't make the illegality of all the others flouting the law any more legal.

And what would your response be if it turned out that PTSD after being raped was their reason for being exempt? Would you suggest maybe they could try to wear a visor instead? Would that even be on your list of acceptable reasons? What if that person doesn't want to be reminded of their past just to satisfy the curiousity of some nosey random person? Would it give you that nice glow of being a good citizen even if it made the non mask wearer feel like absolute shit for days afterwards? Would you just say 'that's nice dear and get on with your day'?

[quote Thespottytortoise]@PurpleDaisies

It's the law indeed, that makes exemptions, but law and morality don't always align do they?

If the law suddenly required everyone to wear a mask without exception, then do you truly think everyone who is saying now 'its the law, tough' would be also saying that to those people who might end up stuck at home. No, some people would say it's unfair, want the law changing etc.

I will follow the law. I will not criticise a person for not wearing a mask, as they are exempt by the law. It doesn't mean I feel the law has got it right.im entitled to that view.[/quote]
You are absolutely allowed to hold whatever view you want in regard to the compulsory wearing of masks for all. I don’t think I’ve said otherwise in any of my posts.

What is deeply unfair is criticising people like the op who cannot wear a mask for not complying with what you think the law should be, not what it actually is.

I agree with no mask, no shop.

There is a theory that the reason that this second spike is less deadly is because social distancing and masks reduce the amount of virus we are exposed to. Sounds like a sensible theory to me.

Haven't read the whole thread - half of it is enough for me to have reached my daily exposure to ignorant and judgemental venom limit. The only purpose these threads have now is to remind me that there's a significant number of people about that I wouldn't bother lifting a finger to protect. Maybe those people could wear a badge or lanyard so that I know it's not worth the bother of making an effort around them.

It's less deadly (apparently) but reports from where my family is suggest that it causes quite some damage instead. Also the doctors were reporting that it appears to affect younger people than in April.

I know people who had it and months later still have problems with breathing and fatigue.

But this man followed the OP around the store harassing her. So I suspect the chances of him being an abusive asshat, using the crisus as an excuse to impose his power upon women are quite high.

He didn't. He hissed while passing her.

But this man followed the OP around the store harassing her.

if you read the OP, he merely told her she should be wearing a mask whilst walking past.

So hardly harassment or verbal attack

Let's not even comment on the OP not merely picking up fruits but choosing them - who doesn't like people lingering over fruits when they don't even bother with mask.

Maybe the man shouldn't have said anything. He probably would be better off sneezing or unfortunately having a coughing fit near the OP, having to move his own mask whilst doing that.
If the OP is feeling so safe mask-free, they won't be that bothered will they?

No one can say anything against a sneeze or a tickly throat? it happens...

God there are some unpleasant and sanctimonious people on here.

Bloody hell, this post makes me despair for humanity. I’m staying at home with my dog.

@ArcheryAnnie

If someone is breaking the law in a way that is putting my safety, and the safety of other people, at risk, then it is perfectly reasonable, and perfectly legal, for me to raise this witH them

Legal? Oh no it isn’t
I think you’re over reaching yourself there a bit.

So while you’re totally puffed up with your own self importance
You won’t mind mind if perfectly legal non snotty rag wearers turn round and say

Oh do fuck off, there’s a love

In a piss off, you nosey Parker bitch sort of way 😂😂😂

What some people seem to fail to understand is that people like myself, who are unable to wear masks, are very, very careful about SD, hand washing etc. We don't want to catch CV or anything else any more than anybody else does!

People who REFUSE to wear masks "just because no one tells me what to do " are the problem, the anti maskers and conspiracy theory crew who don't SD or anything else...

Please understand that someone who is not wearing a mask MAY have a truly horrendous reason for not doing so, and they are probably pretty damn scared about not being able to wear one!

Indeed, it gets very frustrating when you follow all rules and guidelines, muddle through with kids, work and put your life on hold and some CF can't be bothered to follow simple directions and put the rest of us back in the shit.

You do realise that there would have been no lockdown if people could have been trusted? Clearly a stricter lockdown is needed. It's pathetic and really not enjoyable for most of us.

@Reedwarbler and @funkypolar

Isn’t there just.

Thing is, I’m presuming, these people have intelligence and are capable of looking up the guidelines

So are they just nasty, vile, thick as mince or actually craving a bit of human interaction

I really don’t get it

Op the more this happens , the thicker your skin gets, and the less it affects you
Never forget you are a survivor

@Stefoscope

If someone is breaking the law in a way that is putting my safety, and the safety of other people, at risk, then it is perfectly reasonable, and perfectly legal, for me to raise this with them. if they are one of the very small number of people for whom the action they are taking is not illegal, then they can tell me so. It doesn't make the illegality of all the others flouting the law any more legal.

And what would your response be if it turned out that PTSD after being raped was their reason for being exempt? Would you suggest maybe they could try to wear a visor instead? Would that even be on your list of acceptable reasons? What if that person doesn't want to be reminded of their past just to satisfy the curiousity of some nosey random person? Would it give you that nice glow of being a good citizen even if it made the non mask wearer feel like absolute shit for days afterwards? Would you just say 'that's nice dear and get on with your day'?

I don't need to know the reason for their exemption.

Just as they probably don't want a detailed blow-by-blow account of the illnesses I've been through (and am still experiencing) since catching covid in March, or about how distressing it was to be carted off to hospital in an emergency ambulance in April, leaving my teenage son alone in our flat, neither of us knowing if we will ever see one another again.

As I keep on saying, there is trauma on both sides, and reasonable expectations on both sides that other people should stick to the rules, in an effort to keep everyone as safe as possible, while also doing our best to allow as many people as possible to navigate public life.

Ffs pumpkin
People did obey the rules.
Have you forgotten already , none went out because there was nowhere to go

REMEMBER.
Everyone did obey the rules.

[quote Dowser]@ArcheryAnnie

If someone is breaking the law in a way that is putting my safety, and the safety of other people, at risk, then it is perfectly reasonable, and perfectly legal, for me to raise this witH them

Legal? Oh no it isn’t
I think you’re over reaching yourself there a bit.

So while you’re totally puffed up with your own self importance
You won’t mind mind if perfectly legal non snotty rag wearers turn round and say

Oh do fuck off, there’s a love

In a piss off, you nosey Parker bitch sort of way 😂😂😂[/quote]
Where's your evidence that asking people to wear their mask correctly isn't legal?

I reserve my sympathy for people who, through no fault of their own, are the most at risk and can stay lock up at home which is terribly unhealthy on all level.
Or who wear masks, despite medical conditions that could exempt them, and are put at risks by the selfishness of others.

The problem with masks is that it's about OTHERS, not yourself in the short term. I do feel very sorry and have much sympathy for the ones put at risk. It really is not fair.

@Brefugee

Fajitanita (kindly stop @ me, it's rude) you obvs have a comprehension problem, or is it just me because scores of people have said, boiled down, exactly the same thing as me in a much meaner way

There is a pandemic. Masks are compulsory. If you don't wear one it is to be expected especially in a passive aggressive society like the UK where nearly nobody says what they mean directly to anyone that comments will be made.

For her own sanity the OP should consider ignoring, thicker skin, ear buds what-the-fuck-ever but the comments aren't going to stop. And some of them are likely to be much worse than someone muttering as they walk past her.

And as pp said: i'm not seeing this discussion on German boards, and haven't heard it from friends in places like the States, NZ, France, China or Korea.

And FWIW to people asking about asthmatics in China: smog is a huge problem there and they have a lot of asthmatics. As a friend of mine over there said "it's good that we live in a dictatorship sometimes, we can just tell people to stay home and they do". Which isn't the solution, because they also have very good networks to help people struggling.

The bottom line, whether or not you believe that masks are effective or useless or whatever, current regs are to wear them. We need to get used to it. That goes for the huffers-and-puffer-PA-twats who find it necessary to make comments, as well as people who can't wear them for whatever reason.

The reality is, sadly, that this won't be the last time someone is mean to OP about not wearing a mask. And it is better for her, since she needs to be out and about, to develop a tactic to deal with it. (I don't recommend filming, it can end badly)

YES, this post is perfect @Brefugee! 👏 I also wholeheartedly agree with you @Branleuse. The UK looks like a bunch of whiny gits who refuse to just knuckle down and do the right thing. People keep trying to “outsmart” the rules when it would help everyone if they just sat and took their lumps like so many other countries did to get it under control.

As I mentioned earlier, I’m in NYC and actually live in what was one of the worst hotspots in the country and possibly the world at some point. But we all pulled together and dropped our infection rate dramatically. A lot of the dumb states were acting like the UK and their numbers eventually surged when NY and CA tried to warn them. Our rates in NYC are increasing again but nowhere nearly as much as other cities because we’re still doing well on compliance. On the subway we have about 97% — 99% face covering / mask wearing compliance including children from 2+ years old. This includes masks, bandanas, visors or gaiters. A lot people even double up their masks like medical professionals do in order to protect others and themselves. We’re all in this together and we recognize that. Maybe the folks in the UK can start to understand that too.

@Dowser

Ffs pumpkin People did obey the rules. Have you forgotten already , none went out because there was nowhere to go

REMEMBER.
Everyone did obey the rules.

Looking at the state of the economy, it's beyond me why we don't fine in this country. At least we would have some money going in. If you make the fines heavy enough, the admin cost would be negligible.

We have no problem fining drivers right left and centre, or even parents taking kids away from school. I don't really get it.

It wouldn't even be unpopular (apart from the people who broke the rules, but sympathy would be thin anyway).

@JingsMahBucket the mask compliance here in the UK is massive. People are wearing them notwithstanding their views on them. I wear mine everywhere it’s required as I’m not exempt and I’d say 99% of people I see are wearing them too.

I suppose that’s why an individual not wearing one might attract attention.

@PumpkinetChocolat would you also have no problem challenging someone driving at 30mph because you’ve arbitrarily decided the speed limit should be 23mph?

Made up laws

If you make the fines heavy enough, the admin cost would be negligible.

If you make the fines heavy enough no one is going to bother getting tested!

There are some really vile posters on this thread. I presume they were the same ones berating people earlier in the year for going out for over an hour or buying something they consider to be non essential.