Mum sending pictures of my DD

[Mommabear20]

AIBU to ask my mum to stop sending pictures of my DD to her friends?
DD is 18 weeks old, I had some errands to run today so asked her to come watch her while I popped out. She was thrilled to! When I came back she said she'd been good as gold and she'd got some videos and pictures of her laughing that she'd sent to her sister (don't mind this as she's family and I send her pictures myself) and a friend of hers from work that I've never met. Didn't think much of it initially as was busy putting shopping away while also dealing with my over excited dogs. But now I'm thinking about it, it bugs me that she'd do that. We haven't posted a single picture of our DD, including her scan pictures, on social media as we don't know who is seeing them, which she knows!

Am I being unreasonable or is she out of line?

This is ridiculous.

They're going to do nothing with the photo except send a nice comment back. Jesus, lighten up. Your poor dm.

Okay, so most of you think I'm being precious, but, (&I say this seriously) can someone explain the difference you see in social media posts where you have no control over who sees, saves or shares it and it being sent to strangers (to me and DH) where there is no control over who sees, saves or shares it?

Youre being a bit weird about it. Its a baby picture. They wont be doing anything with it

As a 60+ year old I get lots of these types of proud grandma photos from other grandmothers. You know what I do with them....reply “how sweet” and trash. Only my own grandchildren’s photos are saved. Don’t know anyone who keeps or shares on photos of others.

You’re being very silly. Your dd May be the most important and adorable person in your life right now but, trust me, the person receiving the picture will just glance at it, make a nice comment, then never look at it again. Most people have absolutely no interest in other people’s baby pictures, unless they are immediate/close family.

Okay, so most of you think I'm being precious, but, (&I say this seriously) can someone explain the difference you see in social media posts where you have no control over who sees, saves or shares it and it being sent to strangers (to me and DH) where there is no control over who sees, saves or shares it?

You trust your mothers instincts? She won't betray you anymore than you'll betray your own child.

What makes you think any different?

Unless your baby was naked yabu. Imo be a bit more appreciative people are interested in your dc!!

You're being a silly sausage.

What are you going to do when you take her out? Put her in a sack in case strangers will look at her.

Are you powerless in every other area of your life and you see this as a rare opportunity to exert some control? I can't help thinking this is quite often behind this precious thinking.

@Mommabear20

Okay, so most of you think I'm being precious, but, (&I say this seriously) can someone explain the difference you see in social media posts where you have no control over who sees, saves or shares it and it being sent to strangers (to me and DH) where there is no control over who sees, saves or shares it?

Because you trust your mother?

@rashalert Oh come on. Someone walking past your baby in the street is very different to a complete stranger (to you) having photos of your baby auto-saved into their camera roll, that god knows who may have access to.

The OP and I are obviously more private people than many, the idea definitely makes me uncomfortable. Show someone a picture (physical or digital) if you must, but sending them digitally is a different matter IMO.

Social media amplifies distribution and v quickly gets beyond friends and friends of friends. That's the difference. The chances of your mums friend passing the picture on is slight. But even if she does it's at most to her close friend or family. Your mother plastering it on Facebook with, possibly, weak security settings means everyone she knows can see it and potentially all their "friends" too. Its v different.

But @BlingLoving the. OPs DM is NOT sharing on FB!

I would find you very unreasonable on that, sorry.

I'm guessing this is your first baby?

im sorry to say YABU op. however i had this exact same issue when DC were small and i remember feeling quite upset. luckily i never said anything about it as looking back i realize she was doing no harm and was just an excited grandparent.

I wouldn’t like it and you are NOT overreacting or being unreasonable. I’m private. I don’t share any images of myself on the internet. I’d be the same about my children. I’d hate the idea of strangers being sent images of my child (and maybe identifying parts of my home in the background). I can’t imagine doing this to another person either.

can someone explain the difference you see in social media posts where you have no control over who sees, saves or shares it and it being sent to strangers (to me and DH) where there is no control over who sees, saves or shares it?

IMO, i would trust the judgement that DM is pretty close to the person she is texting photos to. to have that kind of relationship she clearly trusts them. i see that different as her childhood friends husband (for example) is on her facebook and she doesnt know him or his intentions. she accepted him to be polite after meeting him at a BBQ once, but wouldnt send him photos of your baby.

You do realise anyone could take a photo of your baby in public and share it with whomever they pleased and there would be nothing you could do about it? This is a proud grandma showing off her grandchild. You're being massively unreasonable.

Why would strangers want to identify parts of your home?
Are you famous or do you have a stuffed grizzly bear in the corner which is instantly recognisable?

I agree with you OP. I asked my mum, siblings and extended family not to send on pics of our DC onto anyone without permission.

I think it's totally fair to want to control where images of your children go.

I'm surprised so many people think you're overreacting. You don't know your mum's friend, what if she passes it on to someone?

Personally it wouldnt worry me who received them. 18w old babies are just pink/beige/brown blobs, who will look totally different in 6 months time. They're never going to be recognised. What do you imagine people you don't know would be doing with your DDs photos? Does you mum know paedophiles who may kidnap your DD?

I wouldn’t like it and you are NOT overreacting or being unreasonable. I’m private. I don’t share any images of myself on the internet. I’d be the same about my children. I’d hate the idea of strangers being sent images of my child (and maybe identifying parts of my home in the background). I can’t imagine doing this to another person either.

You are MASSIVELY overreacting, how would a stranger identify parts of your home? Assuming you don't reside at buck house or 10 Downing Street! 🙄

If you mean she sent a few pictures / videos to your aunt and her friend not on SM i don't see any issue with that. IF she's plastering them all over SM then yes you can ask her not to do it this way but perhaps send via WhatsApp or something?? I think pictures on SM is a bit different to her sending them privately.

@dohdohdoh do you take your child out? How do you know a random is not taking photos or videos? Everyone has a phone in front of their face these days, you'd never know!

But your concern is that close family would not just dye correctly?

Really?