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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum sending pictures of my DD

146 replies

Mommabear20 · 21/10/2020 18:12

AIBU to ask my mum to stop sending pictures of my DD to her friends?
DD is 18 weeks old, I had some errands to run today so asked her to come watch her while I popped out. She was thrilled to! When I came back she said she'd been good as gold and she'd got some videos and pictures of her laughing that she'd sent to her sister (don't mind this as she's family and I send her pictures myself) and a friend of hers from work that I've never met. Didn't think much of it initially as was busy putting shopping away while also dealing with my over excited dogs. But now I'm thinking about it, it bugs me that she'd do that. We haven't posted a single picture of our DD, including her scan pictures, on social media as we don't know who is seeing them, which she knows!

Am I being unreasonable or is she out of line?

OP posts:
12309845653ghydrvj · 21/10/2020 18:50

I think you’re being unreasonable and it would be awful to sour her excitement. There is zero harm and I don’t understand the need to be so controlling about gps’ relationships with Gc, provided there is nothing majorly innapropriate of course.

She wants to share the love and excitement. Some biddy will go “awww” for 5 minutes and tell her the child is the spit of xyz, definitely a future astronaut or musician, etc. Cute, makes their day and nobody is harmed?

Kittenbittenmitten · 21/10/2020 18:51

I thought this was going to be a Facebook/Insta thing. I do believe children have a right to privacy but YABU. Come on it's not the same as plastering loads of pics all over social media which neither I nor any of my family do.

CokeEnStock · 21/10/2020 18:54

In the old days she might have had a proper photo which she could have shown to all and sundry.

HollowTalk · 21/10/2020 18:59

What would all of you do if they had paper photo albums and brought them out to show people?

Greysparkles · 21/10/2020 19:02

Is she allowed to have pictures hanging in her home to show friends?

Because it's kinda the same thing isn't it.

PanamaPattie · 21/10/2020 19:04

YANBU. There is a world of difference between someone showing a photo of your DD that they keep in their wallet versus sending a digital picture that anyone can share and upload to SM.

Coffeeandaride · 21/10/2020 19:07

YABU

Pollynextdoor · 21/10/2020 19:08

YANBU no one is going to be that interested in the photo anyway.

LST · 21/10/2020 19:10

YABU she wants to show off her grandchild. My mum and MIL do the same. I think its lovely. The people they're sending them to probably don't even care.

Original poster
Mommabear20 · 21/10/2020 19:12

My reasoning behind it is that once it's been sent, I don't know what that person is going to do with it. As they are no relation or friends of mine or DH, why do they need a copy of a picture? I have no problem whatsoever with her showing people pictures, i love that she's proud of her granddaughter, but we want to keep her privacy as much as possible.

OP posts:
Mamabear4180 · 21/10/2020 19:12

I hate to sound patronising but most people with an 18 week old baby aren't very reasonable!

It's her Grandaughter. She's showing her friends photo's of her. That's REALLY normal! I don't agree with all the 'it's MY baby' nonsense tbh. It's your baby until you want her to babysit..your baby is her family member. She will be crushed if you dictate who she can show photo's to. If you don't care about that then it's your right and that's the bottom line..to be as unreasonable as you like.

Mamabear4180 · 21/10/2020 19:13

@Mommabear20

My reasoning behind it is that once it's been sent, I don't know what that person is going to do with it. As they are no relation or friends of mine or DH, why do they need a copy of a picture? I have no problem whatsoever with her showing people pictures, i love that she's proud of her granddaughter, but we want to keep her privacy as much as possible.
It's 2020...lol
Nottherealslimshady · 21/10/2020 19:15

Have you actually told her that you dont want them sending about? Our baby wont be on social media and all family will be aware that they're not to put pictures on sm or send to people to dont know/get along with DH and I. If you haven't told her not to though then she wont have known, just ask her not to send pictures of your baby to people you dont personally know.

MootingMirror · 21/10/2020 19:15

You have the absolute right to ask her to stop - but I think you're being a bit overprotective and precious to be concerned about it.

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 21/10/2020 19:16

I agree with PP you're definitely being precious. That said it's your DC so you can be precious if you want. However if you're going to have rules like no pics of DD to be sent outside of the family you need to let people know in advance. I also think it would be unkind to have a go at MiL about this just after she's done you a favour by watching your baby.

anothersleeplessone · 21/10/2020 19:18

@SaltAndVinegarSandwiches it's not MIL it's OPs mum

anothersleeplessone · 21/10/2020 19:19

Mommabear20
My reasoning behind it is that once it's been sent, I don't know what that person is going to do with it. As they are no relation or friends of mine or DH, why do they need a copy of a picture? I have no problem whatsoever with her showing people pictures, i love that she's proud of her granddaughter, but we want to keep her privacy as much as possible. 
It's 2020...lol

Too bloody right! All this technology and that! How awful people are using it! Dojo

notacooldad · 21/10/2020 19:19

I think YABU.
The people she's sendithem to will probably just glance, nid and smile. Your mum sounds like she's hugely proud of your child. Your happy to have her baby sit.
In this situation I would say lighten up.

OverTheRainbow88 · 21/10/2020 19:20

Umm I think YABU in this instance as you hadn’t told her of your wishes Not to send the pics

If you tell her and she does it again YANBU.

Greysparkles · 21/10/2020 19:20

I don't know what that person is going to do with it

Look at it and go "aw how cute"
What are you scared of them doing with a picture of a baby? A clothed, smiley baby?
Seriously? What are they going to do with that?

Pollynextdoor · 21/10/2020 19:21

They are not going to do anything with the copy. Delete it or forget about it. What do you think they will be doing with their copy?

Venicelover · 21/10/2020 19:24

You are being very precious OP.

Social media no, showing pics to friends via phone, I can't see the issue.

anothersleeplessone · 21/10/2020 19:27

My reasoning behind it is that once it's been sent, I don't know what that person is going to do with it. As they are no relation or friends of mine or DH, why do they need a copy of a picture? I have no problem whatsoever with her showing people pictures, i love that she's proud of her granddaughter, but we want to keep her privacy as much as possible.

The person is going to be bored by it, then delete it to save space.

Runkle · 21/10/2020 19:27

You're being massively precious. Unless there's a massive drip feed incoming then I feel sorry for your mum.

S111n20 · 21/10/2020 19:31

YANBU I would hate that. I don’t have any pics of my kids on social media.

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