To think it's not up to children what a new baby is or isn't called?

[PiccoloPies]

If you were choosing the name of your baby and your existing children hated it, would you change it?

My husband's children don't like the name we've chosen and regularly tell us such and have complained that we should choose something else.

We aren't changing it but AIBU to think most people don't put it down to a family vote when deciding names?

My first instinct was to reply “ oh course the siblings don’t get a say “, but now I’m wondering. Is the name unusual ? Potentially embarrassing ?

My parents named my sister something I didn't like and I cried about what a horrible name it was (I was 3). They changed it. Not a year goes by without my sister bringing it up at least once and thanking me. It's a generational thing. The name they chose wasn't awful but was quite 'old'. The name they went for as second choice, which she actually ended up with, is more classic and inter-generational. I don't think kids' names should be put to a family vote, but they could be giving you perspective on whether it's actually a nice name for a young person or not. You should get the final decision, but if they really disike some of the choices then that should play quite a strong part in the decision.

I don't think they should have input on choosing a name that they like; but if they all hate a particular name, this should at least be considered. Perhaps it is a name that has negative associations in the family, or maybe it is one that would be currently considered very 'un-cool' and invite teasing by peers. I don't think you should necessarily reject the name just because they dislike it, but it's worth thinking about why they dislike it.

I insisted my baby brother's actual name was Susan for about 2 weeks, apparently.

DS2, age 4, couldn't remember what we'd called the baby when everyone asked him in nursery school, so he told everyone she was called Lucy. I spent weeks and weeks correcting people.

DD's classmate wanted to call his brother Pencil.

I swear we had this recently, or am I going mad?

The parents of a baby decide on its name. Whose opinions those parents take into account are up to them. If existing children expressed a strong opinion on a name I had chosen I would be interested in why and listen to them because, well, why wouldn't I listen to their opinions? Whether or not I changed my mind based on what they said would be entirely dependant on what they were saying!

I love all these real life suggestions your children have given you. Jesus tortoise, Captain Parker, Pencil

My friends little girl was adamant her sister should be called either Belinda or Unicorn at one point. Not sure where Belinda came from!

A family member's older sister who was 3 at the time and very jealous of the new baby immediately came up with a horrible nickname and it was clear that she fully intended using it forever. So her mother did actually cave and the baby has been known by her middle name all her life. I would certainly wait until the baby is here as I'm sure once it's arrived they will stop debating the name as it won't be so conceptual any more.

DS2 has demanded we call his sister the feminine version of his name.

I'm not even pregnant. :o

No way would I choose a name the existing kids didn't like.
I wouldn't necessarily go with their suggestion, but you are either a family or not.
What suggestions have they given or been encouraged to give.
Imo you should at least be open to considering them.

Jesus Tortoise is brilliant, I mean no one would forget them would they. You'd never have a party invite where someone's mum had put Josh instead of Jake or Claire instead of Carol.

Is there a shortening of the name they would like, something that could be special between them and the baby?

I don’t think you should change baby’s name but could your husbands children come up with a nickname that they call them instead?

As they haven’t given you a valid reason, then I’d ignore them. Tell them they’ll have their time choosing if and when they have their own children.

Maybe give them a shortlist of 2 or 3 middle names and let them have input there if you’re concerned.

They’ll probably have forgotten they didn’t like the name soon anyway.

My eldest wanted to call her little sister Nutella...

Can't believe we weren't allowed to call my little brother Bananas

My stepdaughter chose my eldest middle name

@Etinox

How old is DD1 now? Do you remind her of it regularly or are you saving it for the speech at her wedding?

26. And I wish we'd had the self-control to save it for the wedding

If I’d listened to my eldest son I would have a daughter called Lobster now

@Topseyt

No to the family vote. I would pay them no attention at all.

I'm with Topseyt!

Nope.

Not a bit of it.

Not a cat's chance in hell a child whose likes and dislikes change from minute to minute would veto a name I intended to call my child!!!

When I was a kid, I thought the best name for a baby was Cristallina, after a brand of yoghurt. My friend disagreed: she preferred Ermintrude, after the character in The Magic Roundabout.

To be fair, Ermintrude is an outstanding name

unless you push the person out your vagina you don’t get a say

Dad doesn’t get a vote then?

I was seven when my mum was pregnant with my sister. I heard that Floella Benjamin let her son name his baby sister and wanted to do the same. My parents said no.

This was perhaps wise, one of my favourite girls’ names was Jezebel.

I didn’t dislike the name my parents gave my sister, but it wasn’t the type of name I would have chosen. I remember really liking the name of another baby on the ward (Natasha) and suggested that, but my parents stuck with their choice.

Never mind. I eventually got to name my own DD, and the name I chose was nothing like Jezebel.