To think it's not up to children what a new baby is or isn't called?

[PiccoloPies]

If you were choosing the name of your baby and your existing children hated it, would you change it?

My husband's children don't like the name we've chosen and regularly tell us such and have complained that we should choose something else.

We aren't changing it but AIBU to think most people don't put it down to a family vote when deciding names?

Siblings living with the name means it’s a name likely to be commented on. So then sibling has to say he’s my half brother etc by way of explanation. I remember once reading a trip report on a holiday forum it was obvious one of children wasn’t a full sibling from name. Think family Dad Tim Mum Kate and kids Harry and Olivia and then Jayyvon with that sort of unique spelling. So Harry could easily get fed up of being asked why his brother has a weird name. Or calling them after a footballer especially if sibling supports a rival team

YANBU and they will get over it.

Could get them to choose a middle name for the baby. Then the child could choose which one she/he wanted to be called by when it was older.

Hmmm - I would certainly listen to their reasons for disliking the name and think about it, unless they are very young children. In the end you have final say, but it would help make things easier if all the siblings can feel positively about the name too.

It’s a no from me, but I did name my younger sister!

I’m about to have my second son and my son, just turned three, wants to call the new baby Mouse Woo Dong. I have no idea where that has come from but safe to say, his vote won’t be taken into account!

@Topseyt

No to the family vote. I would pay them no attention at all.

Me neither! I have 2 step children they wanted to call my son a name I hated (I’m a teacher .... many names are a bit of a no go lol) didn’t discuss names him what me and his father wanted

Why do you not call your husbands children as 'our other children'?

😂😂 I didn't refer to them as my other children because they aren't my children. It's just a fact, no need for anyone's knickers to get in a twist.

Obviously you can tell allllll about my relationship with them based off my factual description of them being 'my husband's children'. FWIW, you need not worry or report me just yet, whilst no one is under the illusion that I am their mother (they have a pretty good one already!), everyone is very happy and gets along just fine.

Thanks for all the responses! Seems like it's more common than I thought so I stand somewhat corrected

Maybe, maybe not.

Children are, naturally, far more sensitive to what names could cause teasing, even bullying, at school and among neighborhood mates. I would suggest talking with your kids and asking them exactly what it is about the name that bothers them so much. IF they come up with a reasonable answer, take it into account. I keep thinking about the daughter of the Lear Jet founder, who is named "Shanda," and all the terrible jokes about "swinging from the Shanda Lear" she'd had to endure.

But in the end, it is YOUR choice, not their's. They will, however, feel better for being heard.

I was totally stuck between 2 names for ds2. I gave ds1 the choice and used his choice. There is a big age gap and I thought it would help him feel included.

@petelacey

You already referred to the others as 'my husbands children' which sentiment they will have picked up on. You have lost a real opportunity to unite with them. I let my eldest choose the name for our next baby. My wife and me chose a middle name so everyone had an investment. Why do you not call your husbands children as 'our other children'?

Stepmums can’t win, can they?

If she’s referred to them as ‘our other children’ she’d have been firmly told (repeatedly) that she is not their mother and they are not her children. She needs to stay in her lane.

But she stays in her lane and accurately reports the relationship (they are her husbands children), she’s still in the wrong because she’s not including them or whatever.

You’ve done far better than my stepmum and bio dad who gave my sister the same name as my dog. I think that would be a good enough reason to veto.

When my youngest sister was born, I was 4, and my older sister was 9, my parents chose Glynis, which I thought was like clinic, and my older sister hated, so they changed it, my younger sister is now 65, and thanks us.

Our youngest daughter is named after a spice girl (real name, not spice girl name). It was my DH “turn” to name the baby but he couldn’t deny our eldest daughter. DH choice was used as middle name (interestingly also a spice girl name but to our eldest, it was the “wrong“ spice girl name).

If it were something far out there though, wouldn’t have happened.

I don't think you are BU, but if they beyond the years of suggesting names like Iggle Piggle and Biscoff (funnily enough we didn't go with DDs initial suggestions for her sister, but another sensible one grew on us), I would maybe suggest they come up with a middle name if you wanted to make them feel integrated into the family and not completely ignored, although you'd obviously have to be happy with the name. If my brother had had his way, I'd be called Alan. For clarification I'm female.

I went to school with a girl whose two older siblings had "made up" an original name for her. I thought at the time what a stupid idea that was.

We didn't go for Jesus Tortoise in the end. Seemed like the right choice at the time but there are quite a few boys at school with the same name. Not one Jesus Tortoise though. I think we would have had to go with the Spanish pronunciation or used his middle name, maybe shortened to Torty. I kind of feel like I've cheated both DC

IDontLikeZombies have you thought of having another baby and using the name? I do like the Spanish pronunciation but Torty is cute, hard to know what to do for the best.

it is entirely up to you and your husband, no-one else1

@IDontLikeZombies

DC1's suggestion for DC2 was Jesus Tortoise.

Dd1 told the midwife at an appointment that her baby was a girl and called Ladybird.
She was 3 at the time.
We didn’t name her sister ladybird but she still refused to call her anything else but her name pick for about 18 months.
Now she calls her sister her actual name, her Nickname which has stuck as birdo or whatever name dd2 demands to be called which is alway a wee bit odd as only a almost 4 year old can pick.

It’s up to you and your partner to pick the name.
They will come around to it

I think if the kids hate it you should rethink it. They may have a better sense of what kids like, and you don't want to saddle your new child with a name they themselves hate.

Of course it's not up to them, but it seems like a good idea for family unity to try to come up with something they are at least neutral on.

We discussed baby names with our two eldest when we made a list. We told them we didn't know if it was a boy or a girl but either way they would be big sisters. Next morning the girls came down and told me they would like a brother called Marjorie... No idea where that came from

Really the choice is entirely down to you and dp. Tell the children who object one day they can name their own children.

Dd1 told the midwife at an appointment that her baby was a girl and called Ladybird

There actually was a First Lady of the United States called Lady Bird Johnson (wife of Lyndon Johnson). I would guess that it was a nickname, but it was what she was always called.