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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not up to children what a new baby is or isn't called?

227 replies

PiccoloPies · 21/10/2020 16:45

If you were choosing the name of your baby and your existing children hated it, would you change it?

My husband's children don't like the name we've chosen and regularly tell us such and have complained that we should choose something else.

We aren't changing it but AIBU to think most people don't put it down to a family vote when deciding names?

OP posts:
Redwolf1 · 21/10/2020 17:24

I discussed dd2s name lots with dd1. She said she liked the name I'd chosen. If she'd really really hated it I'd have changed it

Does your chosen name fit nice with their names in your opinion?

Dominicgoings · 21/10/2020 17:24

How old are they?

Disfordarkchocolate · 21/10/2020 17:25

I'd pay attention to any strong dislikes in case they had a good reason for the dislike, for example, it was the name of someone who had bullied them etc.

ViciousJackdaw · 21/10/2020 17:26

@IDontLikeZombies

DC1's suggestion for DC2 was Jesus Tortoise.
To be fair to your DC1, that's a fantastic name!
Etinox · 21/10/2020 17:26

@LaMarschallin

We didn't go with 1st DD's (18 months old at the time) suggestion for her younger sister:

"Call it 'Spot' ".

She also used to follow me around when I was transporting Spot, with her arms held out and saying encouragingly:
"Catch!"

Didn't take her up on that either Smile

Grin How old is DD1 now? Do you remind her of it regularly or are you saving it for the speech at her wedding?
SchadenfreudePersonified · 21/10/2020 17:27

I thought it was going to be a post about a 3 year old wanting to call his new sister, "Bumpoo" or something, but this is entirely different.

However it is the same answer - NO!

vanillandhoney · 21/10/2020 17:28

I actually don't see a problem with taking their thoughts into consideration.

Not really sure why that's so outlandish.

vanillandhoney · 21/10/2020 17:28

@IDontLikeZombies

DC1's suggestion for DC2 was Jesus Tortoise.
That's an excellent name, tbf.

I hope you went along with it Grin

XEbonyrose1X · 21/10/2020 17:29

I agree. I remember with both my kids people's comments of names on the list. I remember my mum screwing her face up at Hannah. I called one of my girls Sienna and that got negative comments from family. Then with my son It wasn't much different.

People should accept they only get to have an opinion on their own babies names and unless you are naming it a vegetable or after an alcoholic beverage then nobody should even bat an eyelid.

notso · 21/10/2020 17:29

DD sent me a text after DC3 was born saying "congratulations, call him Zachary".
We didn't.

I went to school with a girl who had two really random middle names because her siblings had been allowed to choose them. Really random, Fluffy Cordial or Purple Muffin would be on the right track. I thought it was cute as a kid but now I think WTF!

FatimaMunchy · 21/10/2020 17:30

My mother told me I could help choose my sister's name then promptly ignored my suggestions and went with the name she wanted anyway. I suspect my father was similarly over ridden 😁 It was supposed to make me feel included. It didn't. By the way my sister is now 64, and I still remember how I felt.

Thinkingg · 21/10/2020 17:31

@AdoptAdaptImprove

Might they have a better handle on playground politics than you? Have they told you what exactly they dislike about the name? Is it old fashioned? Does it have an unpleasant connotation for children? They might be doing you, and your future child, a favour!
This! Why don't they like it OP? That is the key question.
Dillydallyingthrough · 21/10/2020 17:31

It's up to you and the childs father what you call the baby. It's not normal to get the ok from other DC.

Purpletomato · 21/10/2020 17:32

My sister was allowed to name me after the neighbour's dog. Name the child yourself!

PamDemic · 21/10/2020 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thegreylady · 21/10/2020 17:35

Cousin’s dogs suggested Opissmus (sic) Pime for his new brother...

thegreylady · 21/10/2020 17:35

DGS!!!!

Quartz2208 · 21/10/2020 17:39

They are excited for a baby but dont like the name.

No you dont have to listen to them - but if you dont think about the consequences of it.

Is it them being difficult or do they truly NOT like the name - if so is that the relationship you want to start?

Grimsygrims · 21/10/2020 17:41

Dh, dd and I all agreed on ds's name together. Dh and I wouldn't have chosen a name that dd didn't like.

user1471538283 · 21/10/2020 17:44

My DF named his youngest sister when he was 8 and they were so close. I've had friends who were named by their sibling and my Goddaughter's son named the next baby. I suppose it depends what it is. But I do think it helps create a bond

BiBabbles · 21/10/2020 17:44

Not really a vote, but with my younger kids, I enjoyed making long lists and then we'd discuss it all together, rating them and things, and then the best ones would end up in another long list of names a few weeks later.

We were down to 2 boy names with DS2 and they all came into the hospital after he was born going, "Hi " which made me laugh as I thought that was still up for debate, but apparently they all agreed on one and so he was named.

Original poster
PiccoloPies · 21/10/2020 17:45

So hate may have been a strong word. They just don't like it.

There was another name actually we did like but it turned out to be the name of a boy in one of their classes who hadn't been very nice so we crossed that off.

We have listened to them and they say they don't know why they don't like it, they just don't.

We did have some suggestions at first but nothing either me or DH liked and yes, it's more important to us that we like the name 🤷

We haven't just said 'tough shit' or anything 😂 but equally we don't think it's reason enough for us not to use a name we love.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 21/10/2020 17:46

No, it's not up to them and they don't have the final say but there is nothing wrong with expressing an opinion since you've told them the name.

As others have said, the key thing is why they hate the name.

CloudyVanilla · 21/10/2020 17:46

I usually put the kids feelings at the centre of everything I do but nope, me and my partner name our babies thank you!

Burrit · 21/10/2020 17:47

My partners kids hated the name we chose for our baby when we suggested it when pregnant, as soon as we had them they where saying they wished it was their name. Kids change their minds like the weather, call your baby what you want

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