MIL and chocolate

[Verity35]

Advice pls or just allow me to vent!

MIL family all have diabetes so you would think she would know better. She has started looking after my 2 year old whilst I work so when I go to Pick him up along with my 6 year old DD she grabs her and gives her the following everytime: Kit Kat chunky, hairibo sweets and sometimes jelly. We have had huge fights in the past as she’s very controlling and things are better now so I don’t want to rock the boat but I’m very angry thst I’ve told her in past dd doesn’t eat dinner when she’s full up on junk but her and Fil laugh at me and say I’m overreacting when I mention junk food and diabetes. I really hate them, I’m seeing them tomorrow and I’m worried I’m going to lose it. I’m due on my period so feeling extra grouchy and sensitive.

I’m really sick of my mil. I’m not worried about 2 year old as he hated anything sweet and he’s chucked biscuits at her when she offers him one!

I stupidly asked my mum for advice and her reaction has made me even angrier - she told me “please don’t say anything, she won’t like it, we gave you kids sweets and chocolate ALL the time and you’re fine. Please don’t say anything to your mil you’re just gonna start a fight”.

Both my mum and MIL are horrific for loading up my kids on sweet treats - cake, chocolate, biscuits, ice cream... you name it. No sooner had dinner finished than MIL pipes up “Can I give them dessert??” My mum, meanwhile, will give them one ice cream cone followed by a second because “Well, they’re only small”.

I wish I knew what possesses grandparents when it comes to stuffing their grandchildren with sugar. Sugar isn’t the same as love!

Sugar isn’t the same as love!

No, it isn’t but it probably is for Mil’s generation. It definitely is for mine. Sweets were still (just) rationed when I was born. For my mum and gran they were definitely an emblem of love because they’d been so scarce. It’s where the “last Rolo” ads came from.

[quote Twitwooooooo]@Verity35 there’s a good subreddit for advice on mil and mum issues called justnomil. If you decide to post on there I think they give good advice generally, and loads of them have their own mil issues so understand where you’re coming from.[/quote]
They will give her the same advice that was said on here...Fond different childcare

@namechangetheworld

I wouldn't be keen on that many treats either really. Is she more likely to listen to your DP/DH on the matter, since he's her son?

Ignore the arseholes. They're seething with badly concealed jealously that you get free childcare from a relative and they don't.

Free childcare is never free as OP is finding out. If she had paid childcare she can tell the child minder to stop and of she doesn't find someone who will listen. Op can't tell MIL to stop or she will remove the child from her care. She has no where else to go

@Verity35

I am NOT getting free childcare for my DD I pick her up from school and we go to collect LO from mil house. Regardless free childcare or not she should not fill her up on junk just before dinner time!

No she shouldn't.

I look after my DGC and to a great degree I follow their parents' rules, especially regarding diet.

You and your DH must put your foot down.