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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this total dickhead student should be permanently excluded?

195 replies

WotFreeWords · 21/10/2020 15:44

I have a teenager in a school 6th form, in a Tier 3 area.

Student in a different form went for a covid test last Thursday due to very mild symptoms, but didn't inform school. Stayed off school Friday. Went to another students 18th birthday party Saturday night. Went back to school Monday Shock

Test came back positive yesterday. School only found out this morning.

About half of 6th form (everyone who has been in lessons or tutor group with them) now sent home to self isolate, school staff trying frantically to find out who else was at the party so they can be told to isolate as well, but not many are coming forward because obviously they know damn well there should have been no bloody party in the first place!!!

My poor teenager, who has complied with every restriction, worked their arse off to keep up good grades etc etc, now sent home to isolate for the last 2 days before half term. They haven't been to a party since last sodding New Year because they take it seriously.

I'm hopping fucking mad. What sort of selfish little TWAT does that? If I was the head I'd have the student who went to a fucking party while meant to be self isolating permanently excluded by whatever means I could find. I mean how dare they fuck it up for the other kids like this?

(And no, it's not gossip, they all know who it was and what happened. They have been asked to come forward if they were at the party but so far the other kids know of several who are denying it Angry )

OP posts:
flaviaritt · 21/10/2020 15:47

It’s difficult. Kids do all manner of ridiculous things. It’s a (very serious) mistake, not a malicious act, if you see what I mean.

Hokeywokey · 21/10/2020 15:50

It's very difficult for teenagers right now. I'm sure you made mistakes when you were 18 too.

TracyBeakerSoYeah · 21/10/2020 15:50

Why the jeff do people insist on going to school/work whilst they are waiting for test results?
It's no wonder infections rise.

Original poster
WotFreeWords · 21/10/2020 15:52

Mistakes are mistakes. Fair enough, everyone makes mistakes.

But turning up at first a party then at school, when you knew you had covid symptoms that had concerned you enough to go for a test, before the results came? That's being a deliberate dickhead, not a mistake.

OP posts:
flaviaritt · 21/10/2020 15:57

But turning up at first a party then at school, when you knew you had covid symptoms that had concerned you enough to go for a test, before the results came? That's being a deliberate dickhead, not a mistake.

But when you’re young, being a dickhead often is the mistake. I think a serious talking to, a written apology to anyone affected, and a temporary exclusion is reasonable in this case. Permanent exclusion is a step too far.

Nocaloriesinchocolate · 21/10/2020 15:58

I agree OP. This was not a mistake, as in, for example, not understanding the rules, which are on this point at least crystal clear. It was a deliberate act, and totally selfish

Enko · 21/10/2020 15:58

I think it was stupid of the student to do. I also think it was stupid of all of the students who went to a party. However, I do not think he should be excluded from school permanently for it. Unless you excluded everyone who went to the party.

Hokeywokey · 21/10/2020 15:59

Lets hope the OPs perfect teenagers never fuck up. The teenager probably thought their test would come back negative.

TeenPlusTwenties · 21/10/2020 16:00

They may well be 18, but where are the parents in all this?

KrakowDawn · 21/10/2020 16:01

They had symptoms, the guidance is very clear.
They are an utterly selfish twat, who has caused who knows how.much inconvenience to others (hopefully inconvenience is the worst part and no-one actually ends up in ICU).

CovidClara · 21/10/2020 16:03

If the gets results had been back in 24 hours like they are meant to be that would have mitigated again the situation.

StormzyInaDCup · 21/10/2020 16:05

Yes they are silly, yes they put people at risk. However, as the pp said teenagers do silly things. You're being completely over the top to demand this child's exclusion, I would be expecting the parents to take responsibility here.

Charmatt · 21/10/2020 16:06

It wouldn't fit the criteria for exclusion in any behaviour policy.
Everyone does dickhead things when they are that age.
Unfortunately but not the end of the world.

AfterSchoolWorry · 21/10/2020 16:07

Well, unfortunately teens will disobey rules. Even in life or death circumstances.

Your son will miss two days of school, it's a shame but realistically I'd imagine this will happen again and again throughout the year.

AldiAisleofCrap · 21/10/2020 16:08

There is no mistake he is an adult he knew he was putting peoples lives at risk.

ForgotMyMaskAgain · 21/10/2020 16:09

So frustrating. Deliberate and selfish. Putting others at risk.

AldiAisleofCrap · 21/10/2020 16:09

@AfterSchoolWorry and spend half term isolating and then miss three more days of school.

LastGoldenDaysOfSummer · 21/10/2020 16:10

He isn't a kid, he's 18. Hope he's thrown out for causing so much trouble for other students.

He knew exactly what he was doing and didn't give a shit.

ilovesooty · 21/10/2020 16:10

It would be difficult to justify permanent exclusion but there should certainly be consequences. I don't think this irresponsible behaviour can be disregarded because he's only 18.

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 21/10/2020 16:10

Is it more than just a mistake when someone they infected at school dies from Covid?

buzzbuzzbumble · 21/10/2020 16:11

I would be furious too OP but I don't think permanent school exclusion is appropriate - as others have said teenagers don't always understand consequences and I have a lot of sympathy for this age group in the current situation. But, presumably the dickhead teenager lives with a parent, that is who I would be really angry with for not policing their teens' behaviour.

If your teen knows others who went to the party but haven't admitted it, I would encourage them to tell the school , anonymously if they wish.

CovidClara · 21/10/2020 16:11

[quote AldiAisleofCrap]@AfterSchoolWorry and spend half term isolating and then miss three more days of school.[/quote]
The last date the OPs child could have been with him is Monday- so 14 days from that point. They wont miss 3 more days

Autumnleavestime · 21/10/2020 16:11

Personally I think you are overreacting. Not everyone will agree.

I also wish that people would stop throwing around the word selfish like it's going out of fashion.

MJMG2015 · 21/10/2020 16:11

@WotFreeWords

Mistakes are mistakes. Fair enough, everyone makes mistakes.

But turning up at first a party then at school, when you knew you had covid symptoms that had concerned you enough to go for a test, before the results came? That's being a deliberate dickhead, not a mistake.

I agree with you

There are 4 year olds behaving more responsibly FFS.

He's 18, absolutely no excuse.

Teenagers doing stupid things, yep. 18 year olds knowingly putting others at risk. Nope. Fuckwitneeds some serious repercussions. Not just a slap on the wrist with a wet bus ticket

OrtamLeevz · 21/10/2020 16:11

@Hokeywokey

It's very difficult for teenagers right now. I'm sure you made mistakes when you were 18 too.
Oh, that's ok then Confused