MIL is annoyed that I don't let her family pick up my newborn

[Kazzx]

Just a rant :( I had a baby who's now 3 months and my MIL is annoyed that I am not allowing her sisters to pick up my baby due to covid. The same rules applied to my own family, they've not held my baby and she knows that but is still annoyed. We are in the process of rennovating our own house so we are currently living with her :@ DH agrees with me.

Op of course you're being sensible.
You have primal instincts kicking in to protect a teeny baby from bugs and entitled thick adults who think they are invincible.

I've had 2 winter babies and I've been nervous about the sickness bug norivus that was going around when they were born and bad flu.
Who would in their right mind want to risk infecting a small baby with anything at all over winter!

And, once babies are over a year, they start to move, they have gathered some immunity, had jabs etc they are naturally ready to get some more challenging infection risk.

I washed my hands before holding a brand new baby in 2018. I thought it was a perfectly normal thing to do

See, 20-30+ years ago this wasn't normal at all. People came round and held my DC (3 in all) but no one ever EVER came into my house and volunteered to wash their hands before holding them at a few days old (any of them) and I didn't even think of asking them do to so!

And you know what? None of them (DC) came to any harm. As long as people were 'clean enough' (which I assumed most of my friends and family were, because I knew them well enough!) then that was enough for me. I never once asked anyone to 'wash their hands' before holding my DC!

I'm a bit worried how the world is going these days. Covid is one thing (and even with that, most of us are going to be ok if we catch it) but even without it, babies just need to come into contact with normal friends and family, with their normal day-to-day germs like coughs and colds. That's how you build resistance!

One of my DCs had loads of stomach bugs between 2 and 4, but never had any other issues after that. The other two had loads of coughs and colds (and ear infections, in the case of one). But they didn't catch those by people not washing their hands, and they have grown up to be perfectly well with no issues.

I know I'm going to be shot down by the hygiene police, but I honestly do wonder how the modern parenting world know how we, and our parents' (so, their grandparents/great-grandparents) managed without any hand gel, anti-bac anything or paranoia about who we let though our doors to hold our children!

My mum and aunts always washed hands before handling young babies. They were the generation who knew childhood disease.

@MathsRocksMathsRocks

I washed my hands before holding a brand new baby in 2018. I thought it was a perfectly normal thing to do

See, 20-30+ years ago this wasn't normal at all. People came round and held my DC (3 in all) but no one ever EVER came into my house and volunteered to wash their hands before holding them at a few days old (any of them) and I didn't even think of asking them do to so!

And you know what? None of them (DC) came to any harm. As long as people were 'clean enough' (which I assumed most of my friends and family were, because I knew them well enough!) then that was enough for me. I never once asked anyone to 'wash their hands' before holding my DC!

I'm a bit worried how the world is going these days. Covid is one thing (and even with that, most of us are going to be ok if we catch it) but even without it, babies just need to come into contact with normal friends and family, with their normal day-to-day germs like coughs and colds. That's how you build resistance!

One of my DCs had loads of stomach bugs between 2 and 4, but never had any other issues after that. The other two had loads of coughs and colds (and ear infections, in the case of one). But they didn't catch those by people not washing their hands, and they have grown up to be perfectly well with no issues.

I know I'm going to be shot down by the hygiene police, but I honestly do wonder how the modern parenting world know how we, and our parents' (so, their grandparents/great-grandparents) managed without any hand gel, anti-bac anything or paranoia about who we let though our doors to hold our children!

Not shooting you down at all, but my Grandma's would be 80 if she were still alive, and she taught all of us to wash our hands before handling a baby.

And we'd come in from school and wash our hands and faces at her instruction. All of us (me and my cousins, ranging in age from 40 to 22) are hale and hearty, rarely ill even as adults etc. There's anecdata for every opinion

I’d be the same. Household members only, everyone else 2m SD.

It was me who said that @MathsRocksMathsRocks. It’s nothing new. My mum was a nurse who would be 102 now, she washed her hands every time she touched my baby when he was tiny. I automatically do the same. It’s not new.

The rule of six and social distancing means that YANBU. I would just explain that to family members. Your baby isn't particularly at risk but at the moment all mixing has to reduce.

Why are people using the words "precious" and "entitled" ? Theres a global pandemic going on, that baby has no immune system but oh! A mother is an entitled princess because she doesnt want anyone outside her bubble picking the baby up!

OP, YANBU. Your baby, your choice.

The rule in England is still social distancing for non household members. Really weird that anyone would get upset about someone just following the guidance. Would you pressure a pregnant woman to have a glass of wine if she’s not drinking?

It’s horrible when little babies get ill. Even a sniffle can mean struggles with feeding, and hours of unhappiness. Even if it’s not ‘serious’ it can be very stressful for parents, can be painful if you’re breastfeeding, and exhausting when you’re already knackered.

Babies aren’t there to be passed around. It’s ok for parents to be cautious, especially at the moment. People shouldn’t take things so personally - new parents just want to do the right thing for their baby.

MathsRocksMathsRocks it was perfectly normal to wash hands before holding my now mid teen DC as a newborn, and indeed was advised by midwife/health visitor to get visitors to do so. It was perfectly normal to wash hands when I was being introduced to newborn younger cousins 20-30 years ago. My Mum remembered family washing hands before holding me born over 50 years ago and my Granny said to visitors to wash before holding my Mum 80+ years ago. And they were common working folk, not posh or "precious" maybe you just mixed with stinky mingers?

babygroups Well i am a have my Great great nephew to stay. Not all great aunts are in their 80s, i am in my early 50s

rotundandhappy This arsehole wonders why she stays if they MIL is that bad, i suppose any port in a storm springs to mind.

It's a hard one as in normal non Covid times, first time parents not allowing others to pick up their newborn are generally seen as 'precious'...yes its your baby etc etc but a lot of people will do the eye roll.

Now though yes, its different, I'd be a little frustrated if I was a close relation and wasn't allowed to pick up baby but we do have the 'rules' too. However if you are in the same room as your DH's aunts when visiting or them visiting you, then I don't see an issue with them also picking up the baby, the contact is already there breathing around the same room. Just request washed hands first and no kisses. It is up to you though and as a new parent right now, it is a lot harder to make these decisions.