MIL is annoyed that I don't let her family pick up my newborn

[Kazzx]

Just a rant :( I had a baby who's now 3 months and my MIL is annoyed that I am not allowing her sisters to pick up my baby due to covid. The same rules applied to my own family, they've not held my baby and she knows that but is still annoyed. We are in the process of rennovating our own house so we are currently living with her :@ DH agrees with me.

Either way, it's ridiculously precious.

To be honest if you're gonna be precious about something, I think a first baby is a very reasonable thing to be precious about.

Wow. Some horrible dismissive comments on here. OP I have four kids and have never been asked by anyone or pressured to let them hold them. I’ve offered people a cuddle at appropriate times but never passed them round and also in the current situation would no way be breaking social distancing rules with a newborn, you enjoy your baby, leave your husband to sort it out with his mum if you need to reiterate your point.

feministfemme totally!

Do you allow your MIL family to be in the same room as the baby? Even being in close proximity/touching door handles etc spreads Covid. But it’s the world we live in now sadly. Is this really about Covid or is there a deeper issue? Do you get along with MIL? Do you allow your own family to hold the baby? Remember your baby is only this small for such a short amount of time...don’t get preoccupied by this...enjoy it

If you are in the same house there is no increased risk. Poor grandparents, I think you are being OTT.

@fourandnomore This thread is just making me think about newborns and now I'm baby crazy 😭👶

Whatever you choose is the right choice, OP. Holding things dear to you is a virtue and your family should accept that choice - no one is entitled to your child! Good luck x

It's your baby. Your decision. End of.

So she is asking you to break covid social distancing rules and risk a baby's health for what, her sister to hold the baby? Madness.

I wouldn't want to be wondering if my baby had caught a bug or whether it was covid. Just because a baby is in the low risk category does not mean there isn't any risk.

@jackstini

What does she say when you reply 'but it's illegal - do you want us to break the law?'

I don't think YABU

There might be an underlying panic from her that when you move into your own house in a month, she won't be able to hold baby any more either...

I expect she says “of course it is not illegal, where on gods earth did you get that from.”

OP it is up to you what you do, but there is no reason why you need to be shielding your baby from people, your baby’s risk is just about zero.

To be honest if you're gonna be precious about something, I think a first baby is a very reasonable thing to be precious about.

Absolutely! Especially in the middle of a pandemic!

It's your choice OP, if you and your DH have made that decision then it is absolutely fine that you carry it through.

And I was lax at best with my winter born baby and him being passed around. Still used to ask people to wash hands or sanitised when having him (and this was 2016)

This makes no sense, so you’re all arguing about something that’s not going to happen because the sisters don’t come to your mil house and you’re not going to theirs, so there is no chance to hold the baby but you’re all arguing about this hypothetical situation?

Clearly if they were in the house it wouldn’t make any sense do ban holding dor Covid reasons, but as they aren’t, and you’re not in theirs, I can’t see why you’d all be arguing about this?

And I was lax at best with my winter born baby and him being passed around. Still used to ask people to wash hands or sanitised when having him (and this was 2016)

That’s not lax, I don’t know anyone pre Covid wh did that.

RTFT please, before judging. MIL lives in same house, MIL wants OP to travel to her sisters’ houses to let them hold the baby. OP is not letting her side of the family do this either.

@Bluntness100

And I was lax at best with my winter born baby and him being passed around. Still used to ask people to wash hands or sanitised when having him (and this was 2016)

That’s not lax, I don’t know anyone pre Covid wh did that.

I washed my hands before holding a brand new baby in 2018. I thought it was a perfectly normal thing to do.

I just think it's ridiculous playing pass the parcel with a baby. Babies are in a low category however, this is my baby and I want to do all I can to protect him unreasonable or not. Some of the comments on this post have really made me feel worse.

@fourandnomore thank you!

Bluntness100 I did with my winter born twins as I didn’t want them to get everyone’s stinking colds. We had enough to deal with. I know lots of friends who asked people to wash hands of sanitise before holding their kids and I’m not over the top by any means. My mother in law and mum both used to immediately wash their hands as they came in though when the kids were small though so maybe that is why it stuck with me

Thank you to everyone who has left supportive comments I really appreciate it. X

I think that under the current circumstances the thing that would concern me is if the aunts are alikely so willing and desperate to hold the baby, breaking social distancing guidance, when else are they breaking the rules and guidelines? Are they also seeing lots of friends, breaking rule of six etc. I think that you have to use your own judgement and MIL should respect that.

I don't think you are being precious op. I also agree with pp who say the baby isn't a pass the parcel toy. My nephew has a baby and I have been lucky enough to be able to hold her, but I always ask the mother's permission (I know she has 2 parents, but I'm old school). Even under normal non Covid conditions, babies aren't toys. My own DD hated going to strangers as a baby.

@Kazzx You have nothing to feel bad about!
Ignore them & enjoy your baby! It’s hard enough having a baby during a global pandemic without the added pressure from inconsiderate family members.

Before covid, people didn’t want people touching their babies unless they had certain vaccinations too or cold sores.

I can’t believe some of the comments on here. Why on earth would you offer a small human around to be breathed on and handled in very close proximity to someone else’s mouth? In the middle of a pandemic? Has it crossed anyone’s mind that the thankfully small number of babies negatively affected by Covid could be due to the fact that parents are largely protecting them? And are people hugging extended relatives and getting within 30cm of their face for prolonged periods? That’s what you’re all suggesting the OP should be comfortable volunteering her young baby for. Is that why rates are going through the roof?

Everyone living in the house can pick up the baby but it's the visitors ( mil's sisters) op is saying no too.

Sounds about right to me.

Your baby, your rules.