Page 8 | Who spends an hour having a poo?

Beaverdam100 · 2020-10-19T19:09:14+00:00

Partner spends and hour having a poo. My father is the same and actually takes a book in there. If my partner has had a busy day, he will tell me he hasnt been to the toilet as if its a big deal. When i go to the toilet, I'm done in 2 mins at the most. I don't even think about the last time i went or remember any of it but he acts like it has a big deal and a very important element of his day. Is this a man thing?

bananabob · 20/10/2020 06:03

People drink coffee in the toilet whilst pooping? Never heard of that before and what's a poo knife 😭

PamDemic · 20/10/2020 06:07

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StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 20/10/2020 06:14

I was advised by a man to try a man poo. He insisted thst women were missing out on a pleasurable experience so I tjought dont knock it till youve tried it. It was quite nice to really takemy time but tbh Id rather crack on with other things.

Now I can only do man poos due to 2 b2b births.

SimonJT · 20/10/2020 06:23

People in the West poo wrong.

Your knees should be considerably above your hips, whether that means squatting or using steps/boxes by the toilet. On a standard toilet your colon is essentially an L shape and you’re having to force a stool around a corner. When you have your knees above your hips it is an I shape, so no corner to push round.

You also shouldn’t be straining or doing more than a few gentle pushes. If you have a healthy diet and bowel it should be one small opening of the bowels with a small push, then if you relax and you’re knees are in the right position your body will do the rest. If you’re ready to go your stool should come out fairly quickly, it means no surprise fart eruptions as well.

Straining is bad for your bowels. You’re actually advised not to push more than three times in a single bowel movement. Not only does straining cause piles it can even cause groin hernias, plus it can inflame your colon which can make it feel like you need a poo when you don’t.

Badabingbadabum · 20/10/2020 06:33

Dh does this too. It infuriates me when this hour long poo is incorporated into a morning when we are getting ready to go out.

Badabingbadabum · 20/10/2020 06:55

I don't understand how he can go and "try" to have a poo. You either need to or not, surely!?

I use the dc's stepstool for optimum positioning!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 20/10/2020 09:28

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Looneytune253 · 20/10/2020 09:31

I'm almost sure they don't need the full hour to poo. They're just having a break/ being too lazy to move again. My daughter also takes ages. Same time every night unless I have a bath then she always needs it then haha

QueSera · 20/10/2020 09:35

My dad is like this.

Hangingover · 20/10/2020 09:40

God I remember discovering my first boyfriend spent 30 minutes taking a shit and really worrying he was unwell in some way (DF had bowel cancer and used the loo a lot). His explain, "I enjoy taking my time".

Many boyfriends later I've long since realised it's just what they do, the freaks. (except the one who used the locked door to watch his highly questionable porn )

LeSquigh · 20/10/2020 09:44

I often take ages in the toilet. I’m female and have no issues with going to the toilet. I do it to get a bit of peace and quiet!

Howyoualldoworkme · 20/10/2020 09:46

And on a connected issue...do men EAT toilet paper?
We seem to get through masses of it and I know it's not me!

unmarkedbythat · 20/10/2020 09:48

Not quite an hour but DH, ds1 and ds2 all take so long I have been known to point out that I have birthed babies in less time than it has taken them to do their poo. Why they are all pile and prolapse free I don't know. An hour of straining and I would be inside out.

FuriousCheekyFucker · 20/10/2020 10:00

They're masturbating.

Especially if they are getting undressed.

PeachesTheFlamingo · 20/10/2020 10:03

All my exes did this! They'd spend 30-60 mins per poo!!

The common denominator... they all took their bloody mobile phones with them.

I came to the conclusion they would spend 5-10 mins actually having a poo whilst browsing the news and then the rest of the time looking up porn (with the phone on silent), wanking, checking up on their exes and texting other women.

I used to work with a man who had an affair with someone who used to work in our office. He told me he would lock himself away in the bathroom at home to message her and have a wank, either over her photos or to porn. His poor wife! Thankfully he doesn't work in my office anymore.

Hangingover · 20/10/2020 10:04

I came to the conclusion they would spend 5-10 mins actually having a poo whilst browsing the news and then the rest of the time looking up porn (with the phone on silent), wanking, checking up on their exes and texting other women

Lol that's some excellent cynicism right there

VictoriaBun · 20/10/2020 10:08

Mine does that as well. I imagine it's shit , wank , and shower. or in whatever order

FranklySonImTheGaffer · 20/10/2020 10:09

I used to wonder about this - and then I got constipated and was complaining about the pain.
DH told me to do what he does - when you think you need to go, just sit on the toilet and relax with your phone etc and wait, apparently it's come when it's ready' 🙄
Suddenly his 20-30 minute toilet trips a few times a day made sense and he remains insistent that this is the best way - his eyes almost rolled out of his head when I suggested waiting until he actually needs to go rather than going to the bathroom as soon he thinks he may want to go at some point soon.

Laughingcrow · 20/10/2020 10:33

We have a squatty potty @DCIHoops but if he has his phone he will be in there for an hour. But if it doesn't have battery he will be 10 minutes

LaLaLandIsNoFun · 20/10/2020 10:34

Yup. Both my exes - every single day. God forbid I took an hour to myself, though, snd expected them to entertain their own children in that time.

Laughingcrow · 20/10/2020 10:35

And no wanking. I go in and out as I please as oy one bathroom and I need to do my teeth etc

LaLaLandIsNoFun · 20/10/2020 10:35

And my daughter reports that her father still dies it snd he’s a risky in his phone.

AcornsVsBcorns · 20/10/2020 10:37

@Beaverdam100

I just cant imagine sitting there with my bumhole out for the sake of looking at my phone. I'd rather put my bumhole away and read my phone elsewhere.

Oh my sides! This comment has really cracked me up!

AfterSchoolWorry · 20/10/2020 10:41

He needs a squatty potty.

AfterSchoolWorry · 20/10/2020 10:44

@SimonJT

People in the West poo wrong.

Your knees should be considerably above your hips, whether that means squatting or using steps/boxes by the toilet. On a standard toilet your colon is essentially an L shape and you’re having to force a stool around a corner. When you have your knees above your hips it is an I shape, so no corner to push round.

You also shouldn’t be straining or doing more than a few gentle pushes. If you have a healthy diet and bowel it should be one small opening of the bowels with a small push, then if you relax and you’re knees are in the right position your body will do the rest. If you’re ready to go your stool should come out fairly quickly, it means no surprise fart eruptions as well.

Straining is bad for your bowels. You’re actually advised not to push more than three times in a single bowel movement. Not only does straining cause piles it can even cause groin hernias, plus it can inflame your colon which can make it feel like you need a poo when you don’t.

Exactly!