Who spends an hour having a poo?

[Beaverdam100]

Partner spends and hour having a poo. My father is the same and actually takes a book in there.

If my partner has had a busy day, he will tell me he hasnt been to the toilet as if its a big deal. When i go to the toilet, I'm done in 2 mins at the most. I don't even think about the last time i went or remember any of it but he acts like it has a big deal and a very important element of his day.

Is this a man thing?

I have literally birthed all of my babies in less time than it takes my partner to do a crap.

I heard some women at work saying its because some men just like the hour of peace and quiet and dont have to listen to the missus banging on about taking the bins out/mowing lawn/emptying the dishwasher etc. Not sure how true that is

I'm getting really horrid flashbacks now to the time my stepdad was on codeine for an injury and (in addition to expecting endless sympathy, dressing gown of doom nonsense) would not stop talking about the effect it had on his digestive symptom. At the dinner table we would get updates on how hard it was, if people came round they would get treated to the same joke about someone taking laxatives to help with codeine symptoms, before he went to the toilet we would all be informed, there would be very loud grunting during the hour long process (I know that constipation is horrid, I have had to take codeine myself, its just that I made less fuss during childbirth than he did every good-damn toilet trip), and then we'd get a report afterwards.

I don't particularly like my stepdad. Can you tell?

All these people spending hours pushing are going to give themselves a prolapse / piles. It really should almost just fall out, and shouldn't take half an hour either. As SimonJT says, get your feet higher! If a Squatty Potty is a step too far at least out your feet on a step.

@ReneeRol

He's not having a poo, he's having me time. He wants time alone with nobody else around or talking to him.

100% true. It’s the only time I get time ALONE.

I'll agree with the leisure poo / me time.

My partner and I both have our own places, so my chores aren't likely to be mysteriously done while I'm in there, but I still regularly enjoy a 10-15 minute dump with a book, even if I'm the only one I'm getting peace from...

For men at least, the moment of crimping off a length can actually be an intensely pleasurable sensation. Just like a cigarette after sex, nobody wants to rush that...

Having said that, when we're together, my visits are much quicker. Do the deed, a minute or two to recover, clean up and done... She on the other hand can visit almost before i notice.

As for all men having a wank over porn, I forgot that we were all the same....

And for the poster suggesting putting laxitive in her partners food?

Yes, force feeding people drugs without their knowledge or consent! what larks!!!! Does anybody know where I can get hold of some extacy? Asking for a friend - literally....

Pushing is what causes prolapses, it's the last thing you should be doing for a healthy bowel.

@Tinty

There are men (maybe women too), who take all their clothes off to poo. So if you take into account 10 mins getting undressed and then 10 mins getting dressed again, after a 5 min rendition of Happy Birthday, (Covid handwashing song), maybe they are only having a poo for 35 mins .

My dad does this (I've not witnessed it personally, thank god, my mum just takes the piss out of him for it). It's basically part of his evening routine.

Who could be arsed stripping off bollock naked for a poo? I'd feel very exposed.

Have you any idea why, amusedbush? I've heard about this before and wondered what on earth the thinking is behind it. Is it a fear of getting clothes... dirty? How does he manage if he needs to go when he's down the pub or something?

@Eckhart

Apparently he likes to be "comfy"! He strips off, folds his clothes and leaves them in a pile at the door.

I can't think of anything less comfy, to be honest! I hate being naked.

He never poops anywhere but home, though. DH is the same. Personally, I feel like one of life's small joys is going at work, where I'm being paid and I don't have to replace the toilet roll

Comfy?! Why is he wearing clothes in the house at all if he's comfier naked? How come he doesn't get cold?!

Bet you never thought you'd get such intrigued quizzing about your father's bowel habits..!

If i need a poo i go when its 'ready' so I don't need to push and am quick. DH is there in ages. He says its comfy I think men like letting their balls hang free so for them it's a nice place to be.

When we were kids, it was amazing how urgent my brother’s need for a long crapping session was, once our parents mentioned chores.

Mum used to insist he slide his book out under the door. He learned to take in at least 3.

I sympathise op. H does this too - he's always in the toilet when anything needs doing!

I had a CF (female) friend who did this, just so I would spend longer babysitting her DC while she played on her phone.

Yep! Men are a joke for this! I think it’s avoidance of actually doing anything that needs doing in the house

But the seeping SMELL is the thing that disgusts me. I don't mind if he wants to risk haemorrhoids by sitting there for a hour but I have to knock and ask DH to flush for chrissakes, as the hall fills up with the smell

My son (13) 🙄 Hours in the bath & shower too!

both my boys,(15yrs between them)with no "poo ritual"guidance -other than at least a year of ,just say youre going to the toilet if you have to,i dont keep a star chart and announcement is unecessary.wash your hands. ..,strip absolute naked for the "event"whilst they eventually adhere to the bathroom being "private business"and eventually the clothes basket-being-not the floor....its,odd,but i grew up in a heavily female dominant home,so,maybe its not that odd. .....i have a 10yold who still finds "poo"talk hilarious and leaves a fake one in the fridge,on my pillow etc...

I always assumed that men who took ages on the loo were having a wank (or two) and then a poo.

Me that's who but I have IBS and a tumour giving me problems

I think it’s an escape from housework and children...men always seem to disappear with the phone to the loo. I think it’s just an excuse

Men!

It does make sense that women might have the muscles to make pooing more efficient (related to childbirth). Are there no actual studies on this?

Who spends an hour having a poo?

Me, since bowel cancer. Thank God for the Squatty Potty!