Who spends an hour having a poo?

[Beaverdam100]

Partner spends and hour having a poo. My father is the same and actually takes a book in there.

If my partner has had a busy day, he will tell me he hasnt been to the toilet as if its a big deal. When i go to the toilet, I'm done in 2 mins at the most. I don't even think about the last time i went or remember any of it but he acts like it has a big deal and a very important element of his day.

Is this a man thing?

A friend's father died on the toilet, she was the one who found him, the ambulance people told her it was quite common!

I am a woman. I really envy people who can do it quickly. It always takes me a few minutes, so I make sure I have something to read. If what I'm reading is really interesting, I may take longer than I actually need.

Luckily we have more than one loo. I'd be a bit more considerate if we didn't.

Constipation? It's not great. Rather than spend an hour I give up and move around in the hope of getting things moving or having a more productive session later in the day!

Not constipation in my case - I know about that and it's horrible. (And I always have a good high fibre diet.) Have concluded that I just have a lazy descending colon.

"Autopsy: Last Hours of..." covered Elvis's death, and I seem to recall so did Mary Roach's book Gulp. He had a megacolon, apparently. Poor fellow was so blocked up from his drug use and had had a barium enema some time before his death that got clagged up in there too, hardening and blocking things up further. It's thought he had a congenitally slow moving bowel, and then all the codeine and other narcotics he was prescribed slowed it further... Whether or not it was a heart attack or similar brought on by straining, is debated. I can't remember what the pathologist on Autopsy concluded. Poor fellow was only 42.

I have severe IBS, this is not uncommon for me

I have spent ages but not sure an hour maybe, what helps is walking, sticking your knees up (whilst on the toilet), eating figs/dried apricots/prunes/cherries.

DH and DS spend a while but I think I would have to spend longer than them really

@cbt944

"Autopsy: Last Hours of..." covered Elvis's death, and I seem to recall so did Mary Roach's book Gulp. He had a megacolon, apparently. Poor fellow was so blocked up from his drug use and had had a barium enema some time before his death that got clagged up in there too, hardening and blocking things up further. It's thought he had a congenitally slow moving bowel, and then all the codeine and other narcotics he was prescribed slowed it further... Whether or not it was a heart attack or similar brought on by straining, is debated. I can't remember what the pathologist on Autopsy concluded. Poor fellow was only 42.

I suppose you could say he was all stuck up...

Evelyn Waugh died on the lavatoire too, just after he got home from mass. Lenny Bruce was found dead on the toilet with a needle stuck in his arm, King George II was said to have died in 1760 from 'overexertions on the privy' and best of all was King Edmund II, who was allegedly stabbed up the shitter by a Viking who had been hiding in the outhouse!

The toilet is a dangerous place.

I suppose you could say he was all stuck up...

10 mins to get undressed and 10 minutes to get redressed...

How many clothes do you wear @Tinty

They don’t spend an hour pooing. That takes as long as you. They read their phones and check out of family life.

My partner does this when he wants to avoid domestic jobs!

I once had a patient die on the toilet,poor soul

@FixTheBone

Its a psychological thing, its the counterpoint to women always needing to go in groups at a restaurant for at least 30minutes at a time....

Can confirm, I am a man, I frequently take 30mins+ for a poo, and yes, its one of my favorite 30minutes of the day.

I know this is a light-hearted thread but i can't help myself on this particular topic so here goes.

The reason women take ages to go to the toilet in restaurants and bars and shopping centres isn't because it's a jolly leisure activity that they enjoy. It's because there aren't enough bloody toilets. And in the case of pubs and clubs in particular, the reason they go in groups is because other drunk people can be scary and there is safety in numbers.

Anyway, back to the OP. I'm very grateful that my husband has never been one for disappearing to the toilet for long periods of time. Maybe that's because Sky Sports News isn't on in there. If we had a TV in there he'd probably never emerge!

My ex partner used to be on the toilet for at least 15 mins and usually at a weekend while we were watching a film at home in the evening when our daughter was asleep .
We are not together anymore .lol

My husband sits there for so long he gets pin and needles in his legs and has to hang onto the sink when he eventually stands up. We've no kids living with us and I'm not demanding of his time so it's not that he's escaping anything in particular, he just seems to get comfy and watches rally videos while there, it's a bit odd to hear a rally car revving in the ensuite, the only rule in the house is that the ensuite is his, bathroom is mine, I won't clean the ensuite, pick towels or dirty clothes up from there.

@Beaverdam100

I just cant imagine sitting there with my bumhole out for the sake of looking at my phone. I'd rather put my bumhole away and read my phone elsewhere.

This really tickled me 😂😂

Partner does, and he gets naked for the event

And he has a poo knife !!!

Every man I've known does this. Why? I still don't understand the mechanics. Is the sitting time pre or post poop? Are they waiting for it or is it just 'rest and recovery' after? Or are they taking a long pause between 'sections'?

I got so fed up with this when my youngest was a baby I hid a little manicure/pamper set in the loo. I had zero me time so I'd pass the baby to my husband and say just popping to the loo! I'd pop on some eye mask patches. File and manicure my nails. Rub in some nice cuticle oil etc. I might just have a quick wee before I came out. My husband would say are you okay? 😄😄😄 Take what you can get. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@HotToCold

Partner does, and he gets naked for the event

And he has a poo knife !!!

What is a 'poo knife'? I'm not sure I want to know. Is it the next penis beaker?

Someone who wants to aggravate or bring on haemorrhoids I imagine....ouch!

And he has a poo knife !!! hope he doesn’t keep that in the kitchen drawer?! Also hope he doesn’t snag his arse with it....imagine trying to explain that one to the lovely receptionist at A&E. does he eat pipe cleaners or something?

My son (16) says no one goes for a poo at school Toilets as it’s embarrassing and you get the piss taken out of you... so they all hold it in till they get home .... he walks in from school at 3.50 each day goes straight in the bathroom till 5pm. EVERYDAY!!! Luckily we have two toilets ... but agree it’s a man thing.... when I need to go I am unable to hold it in... it’s just too painful.... it’s a two minute “ job” 😂for me

And he has a poo knife !!!

WTF???

I'm done as quickly as I can. I'm just relieved if it's a "decent job". I take a bucket tonne of codeine, which has a habit of clogging up the pipes.

I've been known to say "thank fuck that was decent" when leaving said room.

and best of all was King Edmund II, who was allegedly stabbed up the shitter by a Viking who had been hiding in the outhouse!

That's just a shitty way to die!!