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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who spends an hour having a poo?

348 replies

Beaverdam100 · 19/10/2020 20:09

Partner spends and hour having a poo. My father is the same and actually takes a book in there.

If my partner has had a busy day, he will tell me he hasnt been to the toilet as if its a big deal. When i go to the toilet, I'm done in 2 mins at the most. I don't even think about the last time i went or remember any of it but he acts like it has a big deal and a very important element of his day.

Is this a man thing?

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 21/10/2020 07:01

Oh, and I don't believe the wanking thing. Shower under the nice suds, caressing your body? Quite possibly. On the khaki? Least erotic venue ever. Unless it's only my husband who needs to romance himself...

RabbityMcRabbit · 21/10/2020 07:09

My DD aged 13 spends up to 2 hours in there. It is very annoying.

leaveitaloneforgodssake · 21/10/2020 07:16

Definitely a male thing - my DS(7) wrote in a school essay the other day that his favourite thing to do was sit and read the Beano for ages while doing a poo!

ifiwasascent · 21/10/2020 07:25

I do- I have severe IBS and it feels like I desperately need to go but I don't so half the time I'm sat here and nothing happens. Then I get a dead leg and pins and needles because I use a stool 😂

Middersweekly · 21/10/2020 07:29

Can confirm it’s mostly a male thing. DH can spend 30 mins plus in the toilet. He says he likes having a long poo! When I asked him to explain how having one poo takes more than 5 mins he explained that he sits and waits after the first poo for more poo to come out! 🤣 He takes his phone and often his vape in there! I’m usually in and out within a 5 min span of time!

SuzieQQQ · 21/10/2020 08:17

Taking a phone and or coffee into the toilet is absolutely disgusting! How unhygienic! No one takes 1 hour to poo. Unless they have a major health condition.

gurteee · 21/10/2020 08:43

@leaveitaloneforgodssake

Definitely a male thing - my DS(7) wrote in a school essay the other day that his favourite thing to do was sit and read the Beano for ages while doing a poo!
😂😂😂😂
SilverRoe · 21/10/2020 08:46

Asked an ex this once and he said the actual shit is fairly quick, then it’s relax, have a wank and read. Hmm

Jayaywhynot · 21/10/2020 08:54

Mine does this too, he goes in for ages with his phone.
He also can't seem to hold a poo in, if I'm in the bathroom having a poo he bangs on the door and expects me to come out even if I'm mid poo 🙄 I don't come out but he gives me stage fright as he's hovering outside the door and whining, it puts me off my stride 😏
He's also like this if he needs a wee and has 40 minute showers, iv timed him and he's definitely under the water cos you recognise the sound.
When I've asked why he takes so long he says he's relaxing but how do you relax stand up in the shower?

gurteee · 21/10/2020 09:13

@SilverRoe

Asked an ex this once and he said the actual shit is fairly quick, then it’s relax, have a wank and read. Hmm
Which explains the "ex" part Grin
caughtalightsneeze · 21/10/2020 09:30

@Jayaywhynot

Mine does this too, he goes in for ages with his phone. He also can't seem to hold a poo in, if I'm in the bathroom having a poo he bangs on the door and expects me to come out even if I'm mid poo 🙄 I don't come out but he gives me stage fright as he's hovering outside the door and whining, it puts me off my stride 😏 He's also like this if he needs a wee and has 40 minute showers, iv timed him and he's definitely under the water cos you recognise the sound. When I've asked why he takes so long he says he's relaxing but how do you relax stand up in the shower?
He sounds like a child. How can you live with someone who considers himself so much more important than you? Sad
GaraMedouar · 21/10/2020 09:45

My exP would be in there 30 min to an hour. Every day. When we first lived together he’d hog the inside loo and I’d have to be knocking on the door as me and 2 small kids needed it too. It absolutely stunk too when he came out. We had an outside loo too - spiders and mozzies in there and freezing - so he put a heater in there and that became his loo. Which was much better but if anyone ever wanted him he was normally in the loo.

I was furious one day though as he was at home with our DD age 3, and went to the loo for however long. I wasn’t aware he was just leaving her to her own devices for extended period of time, when he was the sole parent at home. Knock at the front door - she opened it, said Daddy’s in the toilet and let him in the house it was actually someone he knew , but it could have been anyone. He didn’t tell me, she told me later, as did the friend. As a parent you parent and supervise - not sit in the loo for hours. He is now an ex.

LonelyFromCorona · 21/10/2020 10:34

Probably just wants time on his phone, unbothered by family and all that

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 21/10/2020 10:39

We have manspreading and mansplaining - this is manpooing in the same noble tradition.

The longer they sit, the more the pong is spread around - IMO it’s a primeval need to plant their scent, in the same way that dogs pee up against whatever they can find.

My father used to take the paper and say, ‘I am going to commune with my soul.’ 😁.

Hillary4 · 21/10/2020 10:43

Its not a man thing -

Ddot · 21/10/2020 15:38

What

Fattynotfitty · 21/10/2020 15:51

I clicked on this thinking I must have written this post but dont remember? 😂😂
My DP will have 2 a day morning and night each for an hour, no joke.
Always coincides with the kids bath times in the evening funnily enough so I do all the hard work while he's on his phone in there.
If we didn't have DC I might find it handy cause that would be 2 hours to myself while he's busy but unfortunately not.

Rhayader · 21/10/2020 16:12

DH used to do this but I said that if he was having that much trouble then he would need to go to the GP to discuss. It was a much more reasonable ~5 mins after that.

Hoctober · 21/10/2020 16:24

@user1471423151

Generally get pins and needles / dead legs from sitting there so long, and have to try and hide the limp walking back through the office

Ha, do you recover by the time you've got to your desk, like Kyser Sohze at the end of Usual Suspects Grin

PowPurry · 21/10/2020 16:29

My DH does this. I genuinely don’t understand it and would love some men on this thread to explain why.
When I asked him about it, and said how come it takes me less than 5 minutes, he replied with it’s just “different” for men..

I’m not sure a buy the wanking thing, he can disappear three times a day some days. He hasn’t got the minerals for that.
And also because DS(7) also spends an age on the loo.

EggysMom · 21/10/2020 16:46

I don't understand this 'first stirrings' and 'wait for it to fall out'. When I need to go, I go, and my bowel contracts to push it out so the whole process is over within minutes if not seconds. Are they doing to the toilet when it's only a fart, and waiting for poop to eventually follow?

EggysMom · 21/10/2020 16:47

*going to the toilet when it's only a fart

DriftGames · 21/10/2020 17:21

My DH does this but splits his hour in 4x15 minute sessions when he either A. Gets home from work or B. Knows I'm busy with DD and may require some assistance. Boils my piss. Imagine if I did it SmileSmileSmile

Jenasaurus · 21/10/2020 17:28

This thread makes me feel guilty. I have memories of telling my DD that I am just popping to the loo, normally when she wanted me to watch some Disney film, and her looking sad and saying "youre not coming back are you?" I did need to go, but would spend longer than needed to get a bit of a break....(am I a man?)

piscis · 21/10/2020 17:35

My DP does this, half an hour. Ridiculous.
It obviously wouldn't take that long without a book or mobile.
I am done in 2 minutes too. If you need to go, you need to go, why half an hour or an hour, so ridiculous! It makes me angry because if you are at work, then you arrive home and go to the toilet, then that's the evening gone! It is different now working from home but it was pissing me off pre-covid.
I've got friends that say their partners are the same.
I personally don't have the time to be for 1 hour sitting in the wc, I doesn't even take me that long to shower, dress, put make up on...