Who spends an hour having a poo?

[Beaverdam100]

Partner spends and hour having a poo. My father is the same and actually takes a book in there.

If my partner has had a busy day, he will tell me he hasnt been to the toilet as if its a big deal. When i go to the toilet, I'm done in 2 mins at the most. I don't even think about the last time i went or remember any of it but he acts like it has a big deal and a very important element of his day.

Is this a man thing?

@EggysMom

I don't understand this 'first stirrings' and 'wait for it to fall out'. When I need to go, I go, and my bowel contracts to push it out so the whole process is over within minutes if not seconds. Are they doing to the toilet when it's only a fart, and waiting for poop to eventually follow?

Haven't you ever had a feeling in that area which makes you think 'I'm going to need to go soon' or does your body give you no warning at all, just an urgent sensation of 'I need to go NOW!'?

He needs an outside shithouse with a leaky roof and no reading material - that should speed things up somewhat

Men get pleasure from it as it presses against their prostrate so they drag it out for as long as possible.

As well as the obvious hiding from what needs doing.

Women just don’t have the time.

It is definitely an excuse for dh to hang out and have some time to himself in there away from the craziness of the dc! Always has his phone too and I am seriously baffled how he sits that long; must have a seat imprint on his bum surely 😂

DH doesn’t exactly rush the whole process, but he’s not even close to my ex partner who could easily be in there a bloody hour. We’d be planning to go somewhere and he’d have a sudden need - an hour later he’d emerge with a bulletin concerning the quality of his motions, success of the venture etc. Then, just as aI felt a glimmer of hope we might get somewhere, he’d decide his hair must be washed and such was the technical complexity of this task, several hours must elapse for his hair to dry. He’d never do anything normal like use a hairdryer, oh no, the locks must assume the correct shape whilst lying damply upon his brow. Then, finally, as darkness fell and bats swooped, he might be ready to leave the house. Too late, the cry. Too late 😂

He's at again! Waiting patiently to go to the supermarket. Grrr!

Is he done yet?

Tell him you're posting his time on the internet.

Only half an hour this time!

It's a man thing I think. My DH spends around 20 mins, so not terrible but it always shocks me!

It's definitely an aussie/american man thing. ie, the Asian dudes I know only use the toilet for its intended purpose, not as a library!
I only ever know men who keep magazines and books in the toilet. In my household, the only thing in the toilet is TP, brush, air freshener and cleaning products for the toilet!
Two examples I have:

1. there was a guy I dated when I was much younger. He obviously kept this from me for ages, but I heard from his friend that one time he went to the toilet, and was in there for 4.5hrs, until security asked him to leave because the library was closing. Then the next place they went, he was in the toilet for an extra 2.5 hours, before "he emerged looking satisfied". WTF do you do in there for 7hrs????
2. Another guy would go in there for ages, and SAID he read magazines. Yes, porno mags were in his share house toilet too.

You are NOT being unreasonable, because you should only be in there to expel waste. Of course you will take longer if you are blocked up or sick. Heck, even when I had to drink colonoscopy prep I was only in there when I needed to be. I think those people are just selfish and want to hog the room to themselves. Those guys I know also had "man caves" and otherwise acted like spoiled toddlers. Which i guess sums it all up really. i think the only solution is to have at least 2 toilets in the house. That way he can move in to "his" "throne room". Might as well nail a pillow to the wall and set up a kitchen bar in there too.

replying to a few things:

• first stirrings: yeah. gives you a bit of a warning, so you know you will need to soonish
• body cues: pain, farts, the feeling of needing to go.

Usually your body tells you that its "ready", so that is when you go to the toilet. You go in, poop, then clean up and go. There is absolutely no need to go "hmmm its 3pm, better go sit in there for ages and run away from my responsibilities and pretend to poop" And if you work on it, you CAN regulate your poop time. At a previous office job that was terrible, I trained myself to poop during work hours, but also you can't be in there for too long either. BUT that only takes as much time as you need to poop. None of this 3 hours rubbish.

Has no one yet mentioned that they a probably having a wank?

1.there was a guy I dated when I was much younger. He obviously kept this from me for ages, but I heard from his friend that one time he went to the toilet, and was in there for 4.5hrs, until security asked him to leave because the library was closing. Then the next place they went, he was in the toilet for an extra 2.5 hours, before "he emerged looking satisfied". WTF do you do in there for 7hrs????

WTAF?!

My DP spends at least 20 minutes in the loo with the same "I haven't had chance to go all day" crap. He's even started taking the hairdryer in with him & has it blowing hot air in there while he goes!

@mogsandsprogs

My DP spends at least 20 minutes in the loo with the same "I haven't had chance to go all day" crap. He's even started taking the hairdryer in with him & has it blowing hot air in there while he goes!

😂 beats me how men could ever flatshare - my DH is lucky he only has to share the bathroom with me (normal) so he can languish in there (not normal)

So men take long on the shitter because it gives them sexual pleasure? Kind of sounds plausible, but I'm not sure.

I would think it's to have a bit of 'me-time'. I certainly do the same when I've got my phone on me. I'm a woman btw.

My husband doesn't want hemorrhoids so he waits and walks around until 'it' is imminent. No phone, no newspaper. Fairly swift process but he feels compelled to discuss it. 'Logged out, man' or 'Broke the surface that time'

My DGS, no blood relation to DH, does the same thing with regard to poop talk but he has pooped out cannon balls since he was very small, to the point he wasn't allowed to flush the toilet himself as it would always clog.

For women, I think we have so much to do generally that we poop and go.

For the MNers whose menfolk go and hangout in there when they they're asked to do something, it's an obvious attempt to get out of it.

If they do it before going somewhere, it can be several scenarios: they don't want to go, they don't want to use a strange BR, they don't want to stink up somebody else's BR or they don't want anyone to hear them go.

I'm awaiting an endoscopy to test for coeliac disease and can easily spend an hour a day on the throne. Possibly more. But it's split into a few shorter sessions I could also evacuate the house after a bad one but that's another story. Hopefully things calm down once I start treatment.

@DrCoconut
Good luck with that test.

I know you're probably split both ways on the one hand if it's celiac, at least you'll know and you'll just have to plan your life a little differently; the flip side is if it isn't celiac disease, what the hell is going on? And now you're in for more tests.
Did they have you go for 3 months without eating any bad stuff and then tell you to eat all the bad stuff you want so they see if any of those little hairs popped up??I may have that backwards, it was my DH who was told he had it. We went a whole year with me making a special kind of rolls and chocolate chip cookies for him and himself having to drink a beer made from sorghum Yuck!!
Went on like that for a year and then his big sister told him about this 'gold standard' test that could determine yes or no, you did or you didn't have it. He took the the test and it was negative!! A whole year worrying about the rest of his life figuring out how to deal with it. I was so mad but doctors are gods and you don't dare question their judgement....I'd be afraid she'd put something in my file that would follow me around.

@MtnGal2025 I started with hair loss about a year ago. I was found to be iron deficient and also low alkaline phosphatase. The GP gave me iron. Then the pandemic struck as my 6 month review was due. Meanwhile I started getting dizziness and gut issues. A new GP took over and I was called for a review over the summer. My iron was better but not as good as expected for the level of supplements. He ran a coeliac screen which was positive. Referral to gastroenterology took a while but they are pretty sure it's coeliac and not currently investigating anything else. I have to stay on gluten until the test. I'm really scared of having it as I'm phobic of gagging/choking/vomiting but at the same time I think it's important to know for sure what's happening.

How are things now?

As a guy I enjoy a bit of peace and quiet. I read or do Suduko or a bit of a crossword. I take an unnecessary 20 minutes, so what. We have several loos in the house so I am not in the way of anyone else in the ensuite.
I go once a day, have no gut problems, and once done, I am good for the rest of the day.

Most women seem to find pooping a shameful thing and rush quickly through the necessary, however I suspect many are like me.

I look forward to dropping a good Amber Heard, but an hour is a bit much! Toilet seats aren't the most comfortable. I think some men just like hiding from the wife!