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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who spends an hour having a poo?

348 replies

Beaverdam100 · 19/10/2020 20:09

Partner spends and hour having a poo. My father is the same and actually takes a book in there.

If my partner has had a busy day, he will tell me he hasnt been to the toilet as if its a big deal. When i go to the toilet, I'm done in 2 mins at the most. I don't even think about the last time i went or remember any of it but he acts like it has a big deal and a very important element of his day.

Is this a man thing?

OP posts:
DancyNancy · 19/10/2020 22:40

@Frlrlrubert yes!! Totally right. I wait till I really need to go!!

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 19/10/2020 22:41

@SnowHare

I think some men do push though.

Because I saw an X-files episode YEARS ago where the man had an anuerysm on the toilet and The Goddess Dana Scully said that it was common due to straining too hard.

And that, my friends, is why I am known as the font of useless popular culture-based knowledge at work [bows]

Grin

This is what killed Elvis Presley, he had an enlarged colon (amongst many other health issues) and his body waste was apparently like concrete, trying to pass that for hours put too much strain on his heart.
TimeIhadaNameChange · 19/10/2020 22:56

Just asked DP (who doesn't do this). He says one friend does, which confused him, and the only thing he can think is that his pal gets some pleasure out withholding - maybe the pressure of the poo against the prostate?

Legseleven1990 · 19/10/2020 22:56

I take my husbands phone off him before he goes for a poo because really he just goes to avoid having to do anything with the kids.

Ginfordinner · 19/10/2020 23:00

When i go to the toilet, I'm done in 2 mins at the most

Well good for you (slhandclap)

Mumsnet is full of people like you who have absolutely no understanding of people who have bowel problems. DH spends more time in the loo since his cancer surgery, but I don’t complain. I am happy that he has just been given the 5 year all clear, so for me having him spend half an hour on the loo is better than not having him at all. Is that OK with you?

You might want to consider that everyone else is not you and may not be able to go with such ease.

This ^^
We don’t all have trapdoor bottoms

Original poster
Beaverdam100 · 19/10/2020 23:05

@ginfordinner go away.

OP posts:
WinWinnieTheWay · 19/10/2020 23:08

It's so weird. DH does this and frankly its shirking from spending time with his family. I have suggested that we live apart, but he's happy with his marathon poo sessions. Gross.

MashedSweetSpud · 19/10/2020 23:09

Poo with phone = 1 hour

Poo with no phone = 10 mins max.

littlbrowndog · 19/10/2020 23:09

If they are gamers. They are gaming on r phones and chatting to their gaming friends

converseandjeans · 19/10/2020 23:12

Having a wank I would imagine? Getting out of helping with something?

riceuten · 19/10/2020 23:14

Not an hour, but a length of time commensurately longer than needed. Sometimes people don't feel "done" if it's just done as a hit and run.

randomer · 19/10/2020 23:17

@madcatladyforever,how did you train your bowel to open at 6 am.

OrtamLeevz · 19/10/2020 23:20

My former boss (financial director) used to disappear about 9.45 every morning and would be gone a good half an hour. He used to take the Financial Times in there with him Grin

Readandwalk · 19/10/2020 23:21

On our second date in Tate Britain dp and I already had a pre arranged agreement to met in the foyer after an amount of time. So we did and we met then he said "just need the loo". It took so long I abandoned the original agreement and went home.

He still does it. I ask all the time "How long does it take to get a shit out?". He has no health problems.

His son aged 9 now does it.

Whatsthe mystery, what the fuck are they doing?

Anquin · 19/10/2020 23:22

Men.

Caplin · 19/10/2020 23:23

Yeah, H is tops 20 mins. My mum’s husband is easily an hour.

For me, 2 mins, unless I read a good mag article (Or hiding), then 5 mins tops...,and still the sods Are yelling through the door, I never yell at H on the loo!

Mbhatescf123 · 19/10/2020 23:24

My ex would always hold us up by going for a last minute s*it as the taxi arrived or we were due to go out somewhere. So then I began trying to preempt this by asking him to go before I rang the taxi but he would insist he didn’t need to go and he couldn’t force himself. So then I tried pretending I had already rang the taxi and it was on its way but he kept insisting he didn’t need to go, but after I rang it for real and it was in the street and he knew that it was he mysteriously suddenly did desperately need it and hung up the taxi yet again, so that time I said to the taxi driver to go along with me in saying that he had to charge waiting charges because I knew how tight my ex was. It managed to reign the problem in so then I knew for a fact that he was in part dragging it out to be awkward xxx

grassisjeweled · 19/10/2020 23:24

Can someone ask a man if this is true? I don't let them in my home

^

Smile Don't blame you love
saraclara · 19/10/2020 23:25

@Ginfordinner

When i go to the toilet, I'm done in 2 mins at the most

Well good for you (slhandclap)

Mumsnet is full of people like you who have absolutely no understanding of people who have bowel problems. DH spends more time in the loo since his cancer surgery, but I don’t complain. I am happy that he has just been given the 5 year all clear, so for me having him spend half an hour on the loo is better than not having him at all. Is that OK with you?

You might want to consider that everyone else is not you and may not be able to go with such ease.

This ^^
We don’t all have trapdoor bottoms

My husband died of bowel cancer. This thread is not about people like him or your husband.

Seriously, you don't have to insert your situation into a lighthearted thread to make other people feel bad.

I'm glad your husband made it, btw.

saraclara · 19/10/2020 23:26

@MashedSweetSpud

Poo with phone = 1 hour

Poo with no phone = 10 mins max.

I used to think must explain my friend's marathon poos. But he's the same even when I can see his phone charging in the living room while he's in the loo.
grassisjeweled · 19/10/2020 23:29

This is what killed Elvis Presley, he had an enlarged colon (amongst many other health issues) and his body waste was apparently like concrete, trying to pass that for hours put too much strain on his heart.

^

Is this true?

My dad told me whilst drunk that his dad (I. E. my grandad for all you pedants) died from shitting.

Apparently it was 'brought out' (Confused) on a plate Shock and was 'hard as a brick'

I've always assumed this was drunken chit-chat but perhaps not?

CarbsAreNotMyFriend · 19/10/2020 23:31

When my DH needs to drop the kids off at the pool he goes upstairs to our en-suite, putting two closed (one locked) doors between him and the kids. There is usually music, his phone and then around 20 minutes of alone time while he does the job.

I have to leave the door open and am lucky to get 1.5 mins before the kids scream on me 😂

Winterterrace · 19/10/2020 23:33

My ex used to do this - and probably still does but it’s no longer my problem! He’d disappear every evening for somewhere between 25 minutes and an hour. The smell was utterly vile and nothing killed it. He never cleaned the toilet either. When we lived in a flat with only one bathroom I couldn’t have a bath when he was in the flat because he’d decide he needed the loo and had to go immediately. I was the one cooking so I know he was eating a reasonable diet. He didn’t have anything like IBS or ulcerative colitis.

Claricethecat45 · 19/10/2020 23:44

Im interested to know if anyone else is aware of a peculiar habit i have noticed (been told about)?

My DH insists - that - in order to have a poo, he has got to take his shirt or top off....so he sits there topless. Every time the bowel needs an empty. I noticed him a few times emerging from bathroom after a session doing up his shirt- asked him why - and he says he does it wherever he needs to poo- be it work or elsewhere- he hangs shirt up on door and takes his time. Really strange and its been 20+ years now. But then I'm not familiar with mens bathroom 'habits'. Weird but consistent

ZaraCarmichaelshighheels · 19/10/2020 23:47

@grassisjeweled

This is what killed Elvis Presley, he had an enlarged colon (amongst many other health issues) and his body waste was apparently like concrete, trying to pass that for hours put too much strain on his heart.

^

Is this true?

My dad told me whilst drunk that his dad (I. E. my grandad for all you pedants) died from shitting.

Apparently it was 'brought out' (Confused) on a plate Shock and was 'hard as a brick'

I've always assumed this was drunken chit-chat but perhaps not?

Apparently it is, I watched a bbc programme called ‘Autopsy, a rock and roll death’ (iir the name correctly) Elvis had many health issues, I’m not sure if it’s on iPlayer as it was years ago, Channel 5 have a similar Autopsy series but I don’t think they covered Elvis. Michael Jackson’s was very interesting and enlightening.
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