Who spends an hour having a poo?

[Beaverdam100]

Partner spends and hour having a poo. My father is the same and actually takes a book in there.

If my partner has had a busy day, he will tell me he hasnt been to the toilet as if its a big deal. When i go to the toilet, I'm done in 2 mins at the most. I don't even think about the last time i went or remember any of it but he acts like it has a big deal and a very important element of his day.

Is this a man thing?

I've told my DH to take a maximum of 30 minutes, it's not fair on others if he takes longer

Wondering what happens if he takes longer now..

I always went with the idea that they were avoiding responsibility ( Exdh was a master at it and would be in there for at least an hour).

Until I realised DP spends just as long ....but he gets up long before everyone else to do this , then showers and brings me coffee before starting DC on the morning routine which we do together when he is home.

Sp I'm genuinely confused. Exdh was definitely lazy but DP doesn't get any extra non family time out of it....so no idea why they do it. Its bizarre.

OMG. My best (male) friend does this! It drives me mad! We can be about to go out, then he'll need a poo, and that's another hour before we can go anywhere.

He genuinely can't understand how I can go to the loo, poo, and be out again in two minutes.

My ex used to time his 45 min poos for when he arrived home from work, just to piss me off I suspect. I'd be desperate for him to take the kids off my hands so I could cook dinner or tidy up or cry into a glass of wine anything other than look after 2 screaming kids. He'd walk in and go straight upstairs and after his 45 min poo he'd spend ages getting changed and faffing about. Every day. Whereas any poos I did were watched by my children and squeezed in the 2 min gap between doing laundry and going to playgroup or something.

I have a pet theory that if you add up all the time men spend in the loos at work it amounts to more time out of the workplace than maternity leave.

I honestly do believe (as some have said,) that men spend all this time in the bathroom for some time to themselves. (And it IS always men!) And in many cases, it's to shirk responsibilities, and childcare etc...

Years ago, men used to do overtime at work, and go to the pub with their mates, or go play pool or darts, and partake in many hobbies, like golf, fishing, and amateur footie. (to get away from family responsibilities.)

But lots of these things aren't as readily available as they used to be, and many families can't afford for one parent to spend 1000s of £££ on fishing or golf, and similar expensive hobbies, and most workplaces don't offer overtime now, to enable him to get away til 7 or 8 in the evening. So to get some time to themselves/shirk family responsibilities, they naff off to the bathroom for an hour at a time with their smartphone!

My DH used to do all the overtime going, back in the day, when the kids were little (1990s,) and I did literally 95% of the child-rearing and housework and all the general 'family' stuff. (even though I worked 22 hours a week!) We didn't even really need the money that much; he just used to spend it on his own hobbies, and me and the kids didn't see any of the 'overtime' money.

And he wonders why the kids (now they're in their mid to late 20s,) are much closer to me than him. I know many other women who have experienced the same, and their kids are much closer to them too.

So, to all the men who shirk family responsibility, by naffing off for hours on end to the bathroom, with your smartphone, or tablet, and leaving your wife/partner to do everything, (including the lion's share of the childcare,) be warned.

DH is proper miffed that our adult children are much closer to me now, but it's hardly surprising considering I was the one who raised them while he was rarely there.

Weirdly, now the kids have left (some 6-7 years now,) DH is always at home, NEVER does overtime, has no hobbies except watching TV and playing video games, and has cut his hours down to 28 a week! 'So we can spend more time together' Funny how he never did it when the kids were at home. I can't get the fecker out of the house now!

My dh too!

I think if I had a partner who posted on forums about my toilet habits, I might find more ways of having time to myself, too.

DH hides in the toilet. I think it’s the only place he feels truly free from his demanding wife and child. Although we still bang on the door and ask him if he’s finished and whether he’s doing a poo or just a wee? When he goes past the half hour point

Fair point @Eckhart, but would you have more imagination possibly or hide in a small smelly space watching porn?

I have trained myself to go at 6am before work. It takes a max of 5 minutes if I'm half asleep then I get on with my day free of poo.
My ex husband spent his entire life shitting and sitting in there. Clearly something wrong with him as he went 5 times a day but always refused to go and see the doctor or do anything about it. The whole house stank, God knows how his colleagues could stand it when he was working.

Definitely a man thing. My DH is the same, he takes a pile of reading matter in there with him.

My husband also takes ages, and uses so much toilet roll.

One of the reasons why I'm in and out of the bathroom in 5 minutes is because the cat eyeballs me the whole time and it makes me feel really uncomfortable.

@randomer

I don't know, it's never happened. Some bathrooms are quite nice though.

My DS does this! Always has. I think men just go into the toilet and ‘power down’ like someone has flicked the Off switch on Metal Mickey.

The male friend I referred to earlier is single and child free. So I don't think it's all about fathers avoiding having to take their share of parenting.

@Eckhart he doesnt need an hour shit everyday for that. He's free to go to the gym, out with friends etc. He's not my prisoner.

Ex husband used to take a hour, would take his phone or a newspaper with him. Kids used to get upset Christmas Day because they couldn’t open presents until their dad had sat on the toilet for a hour. He would take a cup of coffee with him too. Now dd1 does the same, can be in there for an hour.

@TeachesOfPeaches

I read somewhere that women push their poo out while men wait for it to fall out which is why they take so long

Well a man's g spot is apparently up there so I could probably see the attraction in that

I've got a rectocele.

Poo gets stuck in it. Sometimes I have to stick my fingers into my vagina to push it straight so the poo can come out.

That can take a while, and it's bloody depressing.

So I actually hold the record for fastest pooper in the land. And get quite annoyed at how long D H takes especially as no child ever interrupts him. So I take extra poop minutes sometimes. Why should I miss out just cause I'm efficient?!!
minutes sometimes

Sorry I should clarify I take extra poo minutes in my bedroom. So I'm all done and dusted in the bathroom and just pop into my room. Guaranteed a child or dog will interrupt me within 60 seconds though

Occasionally my 4yo son will loudly say that he's going to do "ten poos" then sit there for ages chatting and singing to himself while he poos. If you go into the bathroom he shouts that he "needs privacy". Then calls you in half an hour later to see the size of his poo, and wipe his bum of course so much for needing privacy.
He gets plenty of fibre and doesn't do it all the time but he does seem to really enjoy doing a poo.
My DH doesn't seem to spend ages on the toilet thankfully, I don't usually even know when he's going. I assume before his shower most of the time.

This Daily Mash article sums it up well:

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/woman-goes-on-mini-break-while-her-husband-has-a-shit-20180120142798