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Original poster

Who spends an hour having a poo?

348 replies

Beaverdam100 · 19/10/2020 20:09

Partner spends and hour having a poo. My father is the same and actually takes a book in there.

If my partner has had a busy day, he will tell me he hasnt been to the toilet as if its a big deal. When i go to the toilet, I'm done in 2 mins at the most. I don't even think about the last time i went or remember any of it but he acts like it has a big deal and a very important element of his day.

Is this a man thing?

OP posts:
FixTheBone · 19/10/2020 21:03

Its a psychological thing, its the counterpoint to women always needing to go in groups at a restaurant for at least 30minutes at a time....

Can confirm, I am a man, I frequently take 30mins+ for a poo, and yes, its one of my favorite 30minutes of the day.

MrsSugar · 19/10/2020 21:03

My husband.

Seriously Women birth children in less time Hmm

Standrewsschool · 19/10/2020 21:05

My son used to do this. Turns out it was due to milk intolerance. Since changing to goats milk, his bowel,habits are more regular.

Cerisiers · 19/10/2020 21:06

My oh used to do this, but I decided to buy a squatty potty and since then he is in and out in ten minutes max Grin

HomeEdRocks18 · 19/10/2020 21:07

My husband

CoronaIsWatching · 19/10/2020 21:08

They probably spend at least 20 minutes looking for the right porn video

keeprocking · 19/10/2020 21:11

My dear late OH would get very worried if he hadn't 'been' before half nine in the morning, he would also regale me with quality and quantity reports, usually not much. He actually got jealous because I can be in and out in a couple of minutes with outstanding results! It does seem to be a male thing.

Girlzroolz · 19/10/2020 21:14

What on earth could be leisurely or pleasurable about ‘me time’ surrounded by stench and the risk of disease (from wiping and touching devices/books at the same time)? Envy

It’s just mind-boggling when you compare it to women having a leisurely bath- surrounded by perfume, designed to clean the body!

Side note: my mother used to sneak to the loo to read as a child, the only place grandma couldn’t take the book off her to do more chores (she’s still someone who thinks reading is ‘doing nothing’). Grandma took her to a bowel specialist, worried about how long she was taking in the loo. Mum went through a horrid battery of tests rather than admit the truth!

diamondpony80 · 19/10/2020 21:15

17yr old DS takes his iPad in there to watch Netflix when he’s going to the toilet. It’s his favourite place to get away from DD! DH doesn’t spend any longer than I do in the bathroom which is usually just a few minutes.

jazzyh · 19/10/2020 21:16

@AudTheDeepMinded

I'm sure it was on here that I first saw the phrase 'leisure poo' for the act of male defecation!
Oh my god I say this when I go for a poo! 😂😂 I think I'm one of the few women that enjoy a long session - mainly for some peace and quiet and to sit looking at my phone. My husband moans at me about it! 😂
Arthersleep · 19/10/2020 21:18

It's not just any old man thing.... it's a feckless man thing. The sort who can't be arsed to cook dinner/watch the kids etc. Or is glued to his phone texting other women. He won't be on the toilet the entire time. He might also be knocking one out. Either way he is shirking his responsibilities. I would start putting laxatives in his food to see if that helps speed things up, just in case though.

NRatched · 19/10/2020 21:19

DSD spends at least half an hour in the loo. Always wondered what the fuck she does in there. Turns out, fannying on her phone. Though she fannys on her phone everywhere else too so god knows why she feels the need to do it in the bathroom when the little ones are about to wet themselves waiting outside for her to come out Hmm There is often a queue when shes there. I wish we had space/cash to put in another toilet..

Luckily its only DSD in this house that takes forever in the loo. Don't think I could stand it if it was DH also! My dad seems to take forever, or did when I was living at home.

Hopeisnotastrategy · 19/10/2020 21:20

I have never thought about this before, though I think there is some truth in it. Could some of it be that we women have more powerful muscles in that general area to push out the babies? Just a thought, and not dismissing the man time issues.

Wroxie · 19/10/2020 21:21

@CoronaIsWatching exactly 😂
While I don't doubt that there are plenty of men who could use some more fibre, I think the toilet time agenda probably looks more like:
7-7:10- shit while reading boring tweets about football
7:10 - first flush
7:10:-7:25 - desperately search pornhub
7:25-7:50 - wank furiously
7:50- 8:00- wallow in shame, clean up, final flush

Arthersleep · 19/10/2020 21:23

@SnowHare

😂

BetterEatCheese · 19/10/2020 21:23

I'm forever having to ask my partner to get out of bed in the mornings and be part of the morning routine. He seems to think sitting on the loo for half an hour and emerging when I'm leaving for the school counts. This annoys me on so many levels

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 19/10/2020 21:24

My DH absolutely considers it a leisure activity.

Back when DC were small and there weren't smart phones to read for his weekend activity he used to negotiate how many sections of the paper he could bring in with him.
A two section day was a good one!

Wroxie · 19/10/2020 21:24

@diamondpony80 netflix... sure 😂

Parkandride · 19/10/2020 21:26

God I've got pregnancy constipation and I'm sick of the bathroom, I could actually cry sometimes. Sod doing that for fun

TheLastStarfighter · 19/10/2020 21:28

I have learned so many things on this thread - none of them were things I wanted to know Confused

MereDintofPandiculation · 19/10/2020 21:31

I read somewhere that women push their poo out while men wait for it to fall out which is why they take so long But if you're ever having trouble with your pelvic floor muscles or if you have a prolapse, they'll tell you not to "strain" by which they mean don't push, let it fall out.

EggysMom · 19/10/2020 21:34

I've told my DH to take a maximum of 30 minutes, it's not fair on others if he takes longer Grin as we only have the one toilet. I don't know what he does in there, I'm guessing that he 'lets it fall out' rather than pushing. And he seems to go at random times of the day. Whereas I have bowel movements perfected to a daily rhythm, within 20 minutes of getting out of bed, and they take about 2 minutes.

nosswith · 19/10/2020 21:34

I am a man. I don't spend more than a few minutes, and then only that long if I have difficulties as it were. There again, there are foods that don't like me that I avoid.

randomer · 19/10/2020 21:35

Why would you want to watch porn in a small , smelly space. I go more with the abdication of responsibilites theory.

Frlrlrubert · 19/10/2020 21:38

@SnowHare

I think some men do push though.

Because I saw an X-files episode YEARS ago where the man had an anuerysm on the toilet and The Goddess Dana Scully said that it was common due to straining too hard.

And that, my friends, is why I am known as the font of useless popular culture-based knowledge at work [bows]

Grin

I remember that, she could tell because his pupils where uneven or something?

Anyway, I think some men (DH) go on 'first knock' (my ex used to say you should let a poo knock three times, it would be quicker and more satisfying when you finally let it go, he was weird, but not wrong) or even 'just in case', where most women go when it's going to actually come out.

Also possibly if I sat down and it wasn't ready I'd just do a wee and get back up, where because men don't sit to wee they think 'I've sat down so I must poo now' and stubbornly stay there until it happens.