How do people afford to buy so much?

[Ilovexmastime35]

Aibu to be confused about where I'm going wrong?! Of course everyone's financial situation is different and for those earning well it is no problem paying out for clothes/shoes etc.
But for low - mid earners, how do you afford things? I see people on social media going out regularly, days out, holidays, clothes, city breaks, seaside trips, buying new technology etc. I know what jobs they do and they are not high earners. How are they doing this?

I want to treat my kids to a day out over half term. I've just looked at booking tickets to a local safari park for 2 adults 2 children. It comes to £145!!
I was looking at a local meet Santa on a train event, £80! We can't do it because if I bought those tickets I wouldn't have any money left for anything else for a month.
I think these prices are extortionate and for low-mid earners most people cannot afford these prices.

I need new clothes, boots and a coat desperately. I'm plus size so cannot shop at Primark. The cheapest I can find is a cardigan is priced £34.99. A coat over £59. I just cannot afford these things! My clothes have holes in and my shoes leak!

Im unable to work at the moment ,but my husband earns just over 50k. After all bills, food, fuel, we have about £200 disposal income to last a month. We don't drink, smoke, we don't eat out or socialise. Our money goes on the children and the house. There is never a penny left over for us.

I think in comparison to wages, most things are priced too high. I'm grateful we have a roof over our heads and can afford food but everthing else seems out of reach!. My husband is senior management, he can't earn any more than he does now. We are not frivolous at all. Any advice on how to afford these things apart from getting into debt?

We earn less than you and have quite a comfortable life. But we don't have children so obviously that makes a huge difference. How do you plan your budget?

I have been using YNAB for 2 years and can't recommend it enough. It's a budgeting tool/method and a quick Google will tell you a lot of you're interested so I won't get into it here. It brought us out of a big debt and allowed us to save more in 2 years than what we had done in the previous 10.

I am plus size and when I lived in the UK I got some great clothes from Sainsburys and Tescos. Nothing special - basic items like jeans and t shirts but the quality was always good for the price.

Have you considered looking for a job, even part-time, where you work from home? What you do on mumsnet (read and reply on a computer) is no more strenuous or difficult than many customer service or admin roles. If you have disabilities they will help you with the equipment you need such as special chair, etc. It might improve your self-esteem too.

You have to pay for the skatepark?!

Just seen the bit about 'housekeeping'

FUCK THAT

Clothes have never been so cheap, relative to income and other outgoings. £35 for a cardigan is not unreasonable when you consider the materials, labour, and other costs involved. The price of clothes has been a race to the bottom, resulting in throwaway fashion in cheap fabrics.

That's not to say that everyone can easily find £35. But they never could. They just had fewer clothes, took hand-me-downs, and took care of them.

Some people do seem to just live for today, spend and borrow. And what you don't see on social media are all the things they're not buying, and all the days when they stay at home.

I wish people would read the bloody thread

PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THREAD OR AT LEAST OPs UPDATES!!!

Sorry @MrsGrindah cross post

That sounds hard OP.

Just a few thoughts. If you have one earner on £50k and another on zero, you will have less income after tax than a household where both adults earn £25k each due to income tax and possibly less access to child benefit.

Ensure you are paying as little as you can for your bills. Look through your bank statements to check there are no standing orders you've forgotten about to gym memberships, magazines, insurance for things you don't have any more etc. Are you on the best mortgage deal you can be? Could you have cheaper meals/less food waste/more packed lunch etc?

Tesco clubcard points funded all our days out on a holiday once!

I'm sure you've thought of this stuff anyway.

All the best

We have similar earnings. Our house isn't done up and fancy. It's just liveable. I never have spare money for a home refurbishment. It still has bathrooms and kitchen from last owner and we have been here 15 years. Also we don't have fancy clothes, I tend to buy bundles on ebay or in charity shops. Our car is 9 years old. We don't spend much on holidays - usually a week in a static caravan by the coast, and some years we share a cottage with friends for a short break in autumn. We don't have any pets. We do however always find the money for hobbies, eating out and occasional days out to somewhere like a theme park. We just prioritise.

With a decent income I sometimes think we should have a higher disposable income.

You need to look at your bills and other expenses, we earn less than your husband and have around £400 a month 'spare', this is after all bills , food , petrol, clubs etc have been paid.

I shop 2nd hand on ebay for many clothing items for myself and children.

@Thepilotlightsgoneout

Trying not to be rude but if he earns £50K and you only have £200 a month left, then somethings going wrong. What are your outgoings? Any way of changing them?

That's what I thought. Maybe they live in London?

@Lottle and you really need to read the OP updates. She has no money because her DH is financially abusive.

Sorry I've just read the updates, you have my sympathy, your DH sounds a controlling bastard. I hope things get better for you. You can't change the past but you can change the future.

Sorry i didn't read the 20 pages but read your posts op and i think its not right you are that poor on 50k and i think he is hiding stuff from you.

[quote Thatwentbadly]@Lottle and you really need to read the OP updates. She has no money because her DH is financially abusive.[/quote]
Ah - indeed :(

Not sure why people are replying that 50k is plenty given the OP has said she is given only £250 a MONTH to buy all the food for 4 people and put petrol in the car.

@showmethegin

Is the reason you don't work because you have young children? Just raising it because there are more jobs working from home being advertised these days (although lots of competition for them of course). Where you may have thought that you couldn't work, some hours from might be a possibility and give you some financial independence. It sounds like you really need it. You don't have to respond here, I don't mean to detail the thread, but over on the employment board there are very helpful and knowledgeable people.

@Nibor1991 and @Jojobar the mortgage is £500pm. Our total bills (inc petrol and food) comes to £1300, we then have at least £200-£300 disposable a month. If we aren't £50k I'd probably be able to save at least £1k a month.

Earnt*

I should add we don't have anything on finance. We save for big items like furniture, then buy it. Our phones are pay as you go, we aren't holiday people but like the odd weekend away.

Op, do you have no insight at all on your finances. Do you not know how much debt you’re both in due to buying your furniture and car on credit. No idea how much your mortgage is?

Folks are jumping to conclusions you’re being financially abused, but you say he’s only earned this very recently, and that before he was earning as low as 25 k and it appears you both have significant debt as well.

Ignore the posts screaming abuse. They may or may not be wrong, they don’t know because you’ve not provided any info.

I suggest speaking to your husband and asking how much your mortgage is, how much debt you have, what’s your monthly repayments, how much all the bills are and what is left over each month.

Oh my life! Sit down with him and ask to go through the finances with all the essentials written out - bills, food, costs for dc

How much free money do you both get and what goes into savings? See proper evidence so you can do shared finances properly otherwise it’s financial abuse. This is utterly ridiculous and controlling!