Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 12 13 14 15 16 17

Original poster

AIBU to think the shop owner was rude for no reason

407 replies

Issania87 · 17/10/2020 19:41

Hi all,

So I took my 2 year old out to the shops with me earlier, and as we were on the way back to the car we stopped at a greengrocer.

I picked some items and went to the till to pay with my son, and then as she was ringing up with items I heard her mutter rudely "oh great". I looked up and saw that my son had picked up a carrot and chopped the end off of it. I turned back to her and asked her to please add the carrot on to my bill, and she did so. I paid, and then as I was putting the items into my bag, I heard her say "oh for God's sake", and I turned and my son had taken a strawberry off a punnet and eaten it. I admit I did lose my temper a little because the whole time we had been in the store from the moment we walked in, she had looked at us like we were both pieces of poo on the floor, so I said to her that there was no need to be rude, and immediately apologised and offered to swap the punnet with the one I had purchased, and she basically told me that she wasn't being rude and I needed to watch my child. I said to her that I was watching my child I just had to pack my bag, and said it wasn't like he had done anything major, he had eaten one strawberry. She said to me that he can't just go around helping himself to food, and I said yes I realise that but he is only 2, to which she replied well he needs to be in a buggy then, my children would have been in a buggy at that age.

Now, I am by no means suggesting I dont realise that my son was naughty in what he did, because I do, and I have never had a problem with him in those kind of shops before or of course I would have taken a buggy with me, but AIBU by thinking that she completely overreacted and there was no reason to be so rude to me?

OP posts:

OddHappenings · 18/10/2020 09:47

@Dailyhandtowelwash

Just tolerate people being rude and ignorant all day. It’s your job.

Pretty much, yes. There are limits, obviously. But there are a lot of irritating and unpleasant people out there who you have to smile at and serve or you lose your job. That’s why retail is hard work and I didn’t enjoy it much. I wouldn’t class the OP’s behaviour as unacceptable - she apologised and compensated. Plenty don’t and wouldn’t. If you own a business, you will stand or fall on your customer service as much as anything else. Can’t cope with the daily irritations of customers? Don’t open a shop.

No, not pretty much. Customer behaviour is in general quite awful, and it's even worse at the moment. It is not acceptable to be rude and ignorant to anyone, and this point needs to be pushed more and companies backing their staff up when people are rude and nasty instead of the old 'its all part of the job' bollocks, it should be part of no job to be spoken to like shit all day just because, working in such a negative atmosphere, being the constant whipping boy for the public's frustrations that particular day affects the people on the recieving end. Everyone up in arms on this thread about the shop assistant being a bit rude and short (yes, I think she was out of order tbh) but the other way around is ok? It really isn't. People shouldn't be having to put up with it, and we should be challenging this culture rather than excusing it!

flaviaritt · 18/10/2020 09:48

By everyday rudeness I mean the customers who don’t pause a phone conversation while you serve them

Those people wouldn’t get served in my shop until they put the phone down.

loutypips · 18/10/2020 09:52

Why wasn't you watching your child? Even in normal times no one wants to buy stuff a child has played with - let alone in a pandemic.
Do you tell them no?

IdkickJilliansass · 18/10/2020 10:38

@flaviaritt

Dailyhandtowelwash

If I open a shop and want to show my annoyance I will. People should use their manners, and the OP didn’t.

If you open a shop! God help us.

IdkickJilliansass · 18/10/2020 10:39

@slashlover

Don’t be so ridiculous @slashlover**

What's ridiculous? Being fired for giving away stock or shops having tight margins at the moment and not being able to afford to give away stock?

Your calculations are ridiculous and frankly over dramatic. I think that much should be obvious

flaviaritt · 18/10/2020 10:40

If you open a shop! God help us.

You don’t have to patronise the shop. Just keep going to the places where the kids have licked the veg. Your choice.

IdkickJilliansass · 18/10/2020 10:42

@flaviaritt

If you open a shop! God help us.

You don’t have to patronise the shop. Just keep going to the places where the kids have licked the veg. Your choice.

Oh no..please let me come to your imaginary shop 😂 get a hold of yourself.

flaviaritt · 18/10/2020 10:43

Oh no..please let me come to your imaginary shop 😂 get a hold of yourself.

In what way “get a hold of myself”?

IdkickJilliansass · 18/10/2020 10:44

You are telling w stranger on the internet they don’t have to come to your shop that doesn’t exist.

flaviaritt · 18/10/2020 10:46

You are telling w stranger on the internet they don’t have to come to your shop that doesn’t exist.

Asterion · 18/10/2020 10:46

Not read the whole thread, but I'll bet that your child was being irritating before he started tampering with the fresh food in her shop.

HOkieCOkie · 18/10/2020 10:47

She wasn’t very patient, however he really does need to learn he can’t help himself to food in shops. However you did replace it all. But I think I’m future tell him he can not touch anything and let him pick out a piece of fruit to eat.

SoulofanAggron · 18/10/2020 10:48

You/your son were entirely in the wrong. Of course she's not going to like someone damaging her stock.

if it had been my shop, I'd have laughed at your cheeky son and allowed him to take the punnet without charge. But then again I’m not a horrible witch.

It's easy to say that as a fantasy, but in reality a shopkeeper probably relies on the income from the shop to live.

2020hasbeenbloodyawful · 18/10/2020 11:11

Once was a mistake, OP.

Twice was careless.

She was rude but you should have been watching your son. She probably would have had to throw the strawberries away - whether you'd swapped them or not because you've already touched them.

phoenixrosehere · 18/10/2020 11:14

Yanbu

You apologised and paid for what your child had eaten/taken. You told your child that it was wrong (whether a two year old completely understand or not is a different story). What else were you meant to do, grovel at her feet. That should have been the end of it.

Doesn’t matter what her day was like beforehand, no need to be rude. No one likes seeing rudeness whether that is by staff or by customers. I work in a shop and love doing so. We have parents coming in with their kids and prams all the time. It is very rare that a parent lets their child run amok and most parents are already apologetic if their child is picking things up or have knocked something over. You know what we do.. we reassure them, we distract the little ones if we can and if we see they have a little wanderer, we point it out nicely not mumble under our breath passive aggressively or roll our eyes (because if a customer notices it so do others), and quickly finish their purchases since more often than not, they’re already embarrassed. Many of us have been there or have family members with children so we get it.

We don’t believe the customer is always right however we know if you’re rude to a customer, you’re likely to be met with rudeness back and they are less likely to come back and tell others about their experiences which means less money and eventually loss of jobs. We could have had the shi**est days with other customers but we don’t take it out on the next ones who don’t know what our day has been like because none of us are mind readers.

2020hasbeenbloodyawful · 18/10/2020 11:15

@Smallgoon

People in this thread need to get a grip.

She was incredibly rude. If it had been my shop, I'd have laughed at your cheeky son and allowed him to take the punnet without charge. But then again, I'm not a horrible witch

You would probably do this the first week when it was a novelty.

When you had had a shop for years and it happens daily because people aren't watching their kids then I imagine that your patience would be far more limited.

LolaSmiles · 18/10/2020 11:55

It's absolutely extraordinary how many people think they aren't paying for goods and services - they think they've also purchased a side order of behaving how they damn well please.
The behaviour of some customers is awful, especially at the moment.

Each time I've been to the shops, which isn't much at the moment, I seem to be stuck in a queue whilst someone argues with the shops assistant about something and then demands to see a manager. The last one was wanting to return without a receipt and not being happy with a credit note/gift card.
Then again, mentioning this sort of rude or unreasonable behaviour towards shop staff on here seems to trigger some people into all sorts of silly 'so people should tolerate terrible service... they should realise that without customers they'd have no job at all' arguments.

waterthedog · 18/10/2020 12:05

Goodness me, people are so highly strung! He's two! My local shops have a free fruit basket just for kids to eat while parents shop, it's a great initiative. Yes she was rude.

flaviaritt · 18/10/2020 12:07

Goodness me, people are so highly strung! He's two!

But his mother isn’t.

Bbq1 · 18/10/2020 12:41

Why WASN'T your child in a buggy if you can't stop him taking and eating items? You say you added the carrot onto the bill but almost immediately he took a strawberry. Did you apologise about the carrot and take hold of your son's hand while explaining to him that we don't take things that don't belong to us? If you didn't do any of that then i fully support the shopkeeper. Nowhere did you say that you really apologised to her, instead you argued back. YOU were in the wrong. Of course the shopkeeper is stressed - you know, with Covid?

Jojobythesea · 18/10/2020 13:34

£5 😮😮😮😮😮😮

Smallgoon · 18/10/2020 14:27

@BohemianDream

Shopkeeper sounds like a bit of an asshole. As do many on this thread.

Couldn't agree more.

Smallgoon · 18/10/2020 14:36

[quote IMNOTSHOUTING]@Butterflyqueen990

I absolutely agree with you. It's a well known phenomenon on MN. In this case I think the OP was maybe being slightly unreasonable. People could have politely made their point then left it. However it always turns into a massive pile in. Everybody making absolutely ridiculously OTT comments just to be spiteful. It's a really unpleasant bullying mentality that always develops on these threads. No one is actually trying to be constructive any more just kick the boot in for fun. The nice people always abandon the threads and leave the nasty posters to run riot.[/quote]
Yup, a bunch of keyboard warriors. Shaming others makes them feel good about themselves.

SecretSpAD · 18/10/2020 15:26

I want to know how a two year old can maul a vegetable personally?

I refuse to believe that hundreds of adults don't go into her shop and feel up the fruit and veg to see if it's ripe. I know I do

custardbear · 18/10/2020 15:39

Anyone being rude is unreasonable. However you've got a 2 year old that you're not watching properly. Perhaps think things through a bit better, the world doesn't revolve around your child, and perhaps it's the 10th 2 year old she's had a similar experience with today - no need to be rude but also there is a need for you to watch your child in a shop - looking away for even 10 seconds can cause all sorts of problems

So the big question is how do you get your 2 year old to eat fruit 😉

Flip

1 2 ··· 12 13 14 15 16 17