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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think the shop owner was rude for no reason

407 replies

Issania87 · 17/10/2020 19:41

Hi all,

So I took my 2 year old out to the shops with me earlier, and as we were on the way back to the car we stopped at a greengrocer.

I picked some items and went to the till to pay with my son, and then as she was ringing up with items I heard her mutter rudely "oh great". I looked up and saw that my son had picked up a carrot and chopped the end off of it. I turned back to her and asked her to please add the carrot on to my bill, and she did so. I paid, and then as I was putting the items into my bag, I heard her say "oh for God's sake", and I turned and my son had taken a strawberry off a punnet and eaten it. I admit I did lose my temper a little because the whole time we had been in the store from the moment we walked in, she had looked at us like we were both pieces of poo on the floor, so I said to her that there was no need to be rude, and immediately apologised and offered to swap the punnet with the one I had purchased, and she basically told me that she wasn't being rude and I needed to watch my child. I said to her that I was watching my child I just had to pack my bag, and said it wasn't like he had done anything major, he had eaten one strawberry. She said to me that he can't just go around helping himself to food, and I said yes I realise that but he is only 2, to which she replied well he needs to be in a buggy then, my children would have been in a buggy at that age.

Now, I am by no means suggesting I dont realise that my son was naughty in what he did, because I do, and I have never had a problem with him in those kind of shops before or of course I would have taken a buggy with me, but AIBU by thinking that she completely overreacted and there was no reason to be so rude to me?

OP posts:
ThatGhastlyWoman · 17/10/2020 23:11

Ugh. Sorry, OP. Apparently all the Perfect Mothers are on Mumsnet tonight, and They Are Pissed. (Minus some notable exceptions.)

You did nothing wrong, you paid for the things your child touched - the attitude from her was unwarranted, but then a long day in retail is Hell on Earth. Personally, I've more of an issue with the judgy posts you've had in response here. As someone said earlier, rejoice in having a child who likes his fruit and veg, and shop elsewhere in future maybe.

GirlCrush · 17/10/2020 23:13

@eddiemairswife no...not seeing any 'hysteria' here, sorry

Wearywithteens · 17/10/2020 23:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

12309845653ghydrvj · 17/10/2020 23:16

@IdkickJilliansass

What business would fire a cashier for someone’s toddler biting a carrot! Hysterical crap
I think there would be a lot of small businesses that would react very badly at the moment to bits of produce getting chewed, slobbered and returned. Businesses that daily to uphold Covid rules can get fined, staff members who allow this to happen get disciplined or sacked.

I agree that a child taking something during normal times—while not ideal—is not a massive deal. However at the moment businesses are in a very different situation and are held responsible for protecting public health. That’s why they don’t want children there, they don’t want customers to touch anything they aren’t purchasing, and they definitely don’t want potential chewed produce ending up in another customer’s basket (followed by Facebook).

LolaSmiles · 17/10/2020 23:17

no...not seeing any 'hysteria' here, sorry
Me neither, but then apparently accepting everyone has oops moments whilst also accepting the shop assistant was right to be a bit exasperated after a toddler damaged two lots of stock within minutes of each other is claiming to be 'perfect '.
Hmm

SideAfries · 17/10/2020 23:18

@Wearywithteens

You make people miserable with your sheer selfishness.

Ay? 🤣

Rosebel · 17/10/2020 23:20

She wasn't rude and you lost your temper with her (because your child was misbehaving).
First incident annoying but understandable but the second time is a bit of a piss take. Surely after one incident you keep your eye on your child?
YABU.

Tigsley2 · 17/10/2020 23:20

You should have been aware and in control of your child.

Your child poking and tasting food.. and you think because he is 2.. it is OK.. it is not!

Msmcc1212 · 17/10/2020 23:21

Aw. He’s only two. He’s just learning. I would have found it endearing. May be the shop assistant would have on a different day too. May be she was having a bad day? Tricky situation. I hate unsolicited parenting advice so can understand why you felt annoyed. Hard to know how to handle it when it happens. I do think there is less tolerance to children in the UK.

GirlCrush · 17/10/2020 23:21

retailers have a huge responsibility right now. covid audits are strict, and auditors use store cctv to ensure staff are keeping everyone safe. the pressure is immense.

nobody seems to realise this though and wonder why staff cant carry out product to their car, touch items brought in from home (returns are quarantined) get arsey that cashiers ask you to step back and use card not cash if possible. as for masks, they end up under the chin rather than cover mouth and nose.....staff are expected to police this....

12309845653ghydrvj · 17/10/2020 23:25

@Msmcc1212

Aw. He’s only two. He’s just learning. I would have found it endearing. May be the shop assistant would have on a different day too. May be she was having a bad day? Tricky situation. I hate unsolicited parenting advice so can understand why you felt annoyed. Hard to know how to handle it when it happens. I do think there is less tolerance to children in the UK.
If you were shielding/high risk from Covid, were eating your way through a punnet of strawberries and found one had been heavily chewed by a person, would you be “endeared” or would you be getting really upset at a shop that their carelessness had put you at risk?
mrsmrt1981 · 17/10/2020 23:26

Bah, that's no way to treat a customer. So he ate a strawberry, I wouldn't care. I always wash my fruit and veg anyway. Next time just skip the greengrocers and get your strawberries from Morrisons...

BohemianDream · 17/10/2020 23:27

@Tigsley2

You should have been aware and in control of your child.

Your child poking and tasting food.. and you think because he is 2.. it is OK.. it is not!

The OP did not say she thought it was okay. She was packing her bag at the time, how many arms do you have? 🤔
slashlover · 17/10/2020 23:31

@mrsmrt1981

Bah, that's no way to treat a customer. So he ate a strawberry, I wouldn't care. I always wash my fruit and veg anyway. Next time just skip the greengrocers and get your strawberries from Morrisons...

So if you bought a punnet of strawberries and one had a bite out of it or a carrot had teeth marks then you'd just think "I was it anyway" and be fine about it?

givemewaffles · 17/10/2020 23:32

Has everyone missed the fact that the OP said she apologised and offered to pay, without being asked to? Bit confused as to why she is being accused of just letting her toddler run riot in a greengrocers.... things happen, toddlers are unpredictable and it's difficult sometimes when you're on your own. Half the time if you go in a shop with a buggy you can't fit down half the aisles or you're constantly in the way so you can't win either way! Don't worry OP. She was rude and some of the responses on this thread are absolutely ridiculous

Howlooseisyourgoose · 17/10/2020 23:33

Your child munching on an item the first time was unfortunate but to allow them to do it for a second time? Come on, watch your child!

Ugh that word munching...I hate it!

OP, you paid for both the carrot and the extortionate strawberries so not sure what else you could have done really.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz123 · 17/10/2020 23:36

I think you're in the wrong OP

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 17/10/2020 23:40

You did nothing wrong, you paid for the things your child touched

To be fair, compensating somebody for their loss/trouble/inconvenience after the event is not the same as having done nothing wrong.

MoonJelly · 17/10/2020 23:43

@Gancanny

Why naive?

I'm going to guess its because you didn't use your psychic powers to predict that your child was going to act in a way you could not have predicted. Then when your child acted in this unpredictable way you did not immediately cover yourself in sackcloth and ashes and throw yourself on the floor at the shopkeeper's feet to beg forgiveness at the same time as promising to soundly beat your child for his transgressions.

But all two year olds will regularly act unpredictably. No need for psychic powers at all to know that it's not a good idea to leave them unsupervised in a shop.
MoonJelly · 17/10/2020 23:44

Half the time if you go in a shop with a buggy you can't fit down half the aisles or you're constantly in the way so you can't win either way!

The answer is reins.

Livpool · 17/10/2020 23:48

YABU

Yes toddlers so this kind of thing a lot - BUT having worked in retail previously you do get sick of the same thing going on constantly. It must be especially bad when you are dealing in fresh food. And add Covid on top.

If we forgive a parent for losing sight of what their toddler is doing then surely we forgive a shop worker for acting pissed off

Butterflyqueen990 · 17/10/2020 23:51

She sounds awful, I could never imagine saying 'for God's sake' about a bloody child what the fuck. And to put you in that position too! You could be having the worst day of your life for all she knows, why are people so shitty over such nothing issues? I'm sorry you had to deal with such a dickhead. And lol at some of the responses on here, apparently dickheads are not a minority. Don't worry op I doubt your two year old knew what he was doing bless him x

bruce43mydog · 17/10/2020 23:55

The shop assistant needs to be less judgemental. If she has children she should know they are not robots that cant be controlled. and they are naturally inquisitive of the environment around them.

Butterflyqueen990 · 17/10/2020 23:56

This comment is insane. It is endearing. He is two and unaware of a pandemic. The shop wasn't careless but nor was the OP, she paid for them so tbh they could have thrown the punnet away afterwards and experienced no loss to their profits. There is absolutely no excuse at all, hypothetical high risk highly upset shielding person or not for the shop keepers rudeness. There's ways of going about things and being a stroppy cow about a baby is not one of them

2020wish · 17/10/2020 23:57

I think the shop keeper could of alerted u in a more professional way. ‘Excuse ms ur son is touching and eating the produce’. Instead of her rude reaction. I get we are all working in stressful times but being professional still stands, it was a two year old, not at 7 year old. But yes I agree he should of been in a buggy and after the first carrot , you should of had him by the hand/watching him closer to avoid a second incident. I think u both stood take something away from this