AIBU to think the shop owner was rude for no reason

[Issania87]

Hi all,

So I took my 2 year old out to the shops with me earlier, and as we were on the way back to the car we stopped at a greengrocer.

I picked some items and went to the till to pay with my son, and then as she was ringing up with items I heard her mutter rudely "oh great". I looked up and saw that my son had picked up a carrot and chopped the end off of it. I turned back to her and asked her to please add the carrot on to my bill, and she did so. I paid, and then as I was putting the items into my bag, I heard her say "oh for God's sake", and I turned and my son had taken a strawberry off a punnet and eaten it. I admit I did lose my temper a little because the whole time we had been in the store from the moment we walked in, she had looked at us like we were both pieces of poo on the floor, so I said to her that there was no need to be rude, and immediately apologised and offered to swap the punnet with the one I had purchased, and she basically told me that she wasn't being rude and I needed to watch my child. I said to her that I was watching my child I just had to pack my bag, and said it wasn't like he had done anything major, he had eaten one strawberry. She said to me that he can't just go around helping himself to food, and I said yes I realise that but he is only 2, to which she replied well he needs to be in a buggy then, my children would have been in a buggy at that age.

Now, I am by no means suggesting I dont realise that my son was naughty in what he did, because I do, and I have never had a problem with him in those kind of shops before or of course I would have taken a buggy with me, but AIBU by thinking that she completely overreacted and there was no reason to be so rude to me?

Young kids do touch stuff in shops, on transport, basically everywhere. They also need to learn to walk outside so can't always be shoved in pram. That being said during covid people are more tetchy than usual so I would have kept a closer eye and paid for both punnets of strawberries as well as the carrot.

It sounds like the shopkeeper was annoyed at the get go and you got the brunt of it. He is a child. I work in retail and kids do touch stuff, that doesn't annoy me in itself, more so if their parents ignore it and do not tell them to stop.

I would consider it a learning experience and explain as much as you can to a two year old that we are not to eat things we haven't paid for.

I have seen many parents allow their child to eat food in a supermarket they haven't paid for, they get to the till and then pay. It would never occur to me to do this and is so entitled but so many parents do not bat an eyelid at doing this so I don't know why you are getting such a hard time.

Shopkeeper sounds like a bit of an asshole.
As do many on this thread.

@yellow055

I don't lack empathy at all thanks. I feel very much for struggling greengrocers who are potentially facing hardship/loss of a whole life's work/their home, basically people close to losing everything due to covid and subsequent restrictions, etc. You, however, seem utterly unable to see this from anybody else's perspective but the OP's and are staunchly defending her allowing her son to twice spoil produce, lose her temper and blame it all on the shopkeeper. So yeah, out of the two of us I really don't think it's me that lacks empathy. You just appear to believe in and reinforce the entitlement of some mothers who think they and their children are the only ones who matter.

Nobody should be using that little boy as a weapon to win an argument. Nobody and Never.

She was rude but with good reason, you should accept it and move on

@gandalf456

Tip of the iceberg? Ha ha, sorry, no pun intended.

Seriously, though, this wouldn't be on my radar. In our shop, we've had druggies threaten to stab staff with an HIV infected needle, shoplifters bite staff when apprehended and claiming to have hepatitis, customers screaming and swearing a tirade of verbal and racist abuse at staff for doing their jobs, and perfectly fit and healthy customers demanding a case of wine in compensation for having to walk one metre to the customer service desk where their issue will be sorted in about 30 seconds

Aberdeen?

@Wearywithteens

You are just yet another random who thinks their drooling toddler can just be allowed to go into a shop and touch and eat whatever they want and we are all supposed to find it adorable and clever and simply wonderful and have endless patience for that indulgent shite

Oh have a glass of wine & chill out love. You were a drooling toddler once ya know? You weren’t born an adult with a rod up your miserable arse.

I feel for you OP, as far as I know a greengrocer is not big enough to push a buggy around for a start, plus a two year old can and will just behave like this as natural. Even in a buggy they can reach out and grab things ect.
I’ve been in a similar situation, I avoid the shops with my children as much as I can, but sometimes it’s not avoidable.
I always watch my children in shops, of course, however - there’s always a point you can’t watch every single thing - plus other shoppers should watch out for little toddlers grabbing - they’re clearly there in front of them !!

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Not rude just telling it like it is. You were in the wrong and yes, most people will appear understanding while inwardly seething at you but this one wasn't like that.

@yellow055 - yes I have a job as a teacher so like to think I help others. I am also a volunteer for a charity which works with vulnerable adults but I can't call that a job as such. I've had many jobs since I was a young teenager; hospitality, retail, support services, education, etc.

Some parents have no control over their kids and don't even seem to try
Just like some people have not control over their dogs and don't even seem to try

I can't say I have much sympathy for either (whereas I do feel sorry for those who do try, and for some reason struggle)

Even in non Covid times you would be unreasonable. Even more so now. He needs to be in a pram or get yourself some reins if you can’t keep an eye on him properly. Next time it could be something much worse ie run out to the road or find a cleaning product or something. The world is not a giant playground for your child.

@Ohtherewearethen as mentioned In other posts it's not practical always for buggies to fit in the shops very narrow aisles . Even if being held / in buggy can grab things. It was a strawberry and a carrot which was paid for .
Yes I can see from the shop keepers point of view that it may be an inconvenience to have a toddler ( with their unpredictable nature) in the shop. However I would do my best ( working in customer service ) to be polite professional and if I thought bagging up a few bits might help any customer out kids or no kids then I would. I would make nasty comments over a couple of items that were paid for anyway .

This is a spat about nothing, as is the thread.

I was just saying that awful things can happen in the twinkling of an eye.

ohhh hold up folks ....@Mumisnotmyonlyname has spoken!!!

its nothing....nothing at all!!

No, that's not what you said. What you said was that Denise Fergus looked away with the implications being that if she hadn't looked away then her son wouldn't have been taken by his killers. It was a vile statement and you know it.

You were extremely unreasonable and seem to have no empathy for her situation.

Shops are doing everything they can to keep their premises clean and Covid free, small businesses are terrified of being fined or shut down, or finding themselves at the centre of a superspreader event. Children should ideally not be in shops at all, only going in if the parent has no other option.

So then in comes a lady who allows her child to handle/eat two items—spotted by the cashier. Cashier doesn’t know if he has been at more items.

What if your child had Covid, and by touching lots of items it was passed on, and the shop was at the centre of a superspreader event?

What if other customers/staff spotted him touching items/eating them and putting them back, and the cashier got fired?

What if he took a bite and out an item back, and someone else bought it? Bad enough social media in regular times, but in a pandemic this could ruin them.

If I owned the shop, you would have been asked to leave and told not to come back—wouldn’t want to risk my business due to your carelessness. And it sounds from your comments that your were arsey with the cashier—it’s a good job she was watching your child closely, because you weren’t.

YABVU. You need to actually parent your child and watch what they’re doing. He clearly needs to be restrained in a pushchair as he can’t control himself and you aren’t watching him.

Twinkling of an eye! Fuck off

What business would fire a cashier for someone’s toddler biting a carrot! Hysterical crap

Even in non Covid times you would be unreasonable. Even more so now. He needs to be in a pram or get yourself some reins if you can’t keep an eye on him properly. Next time it could be something much worse ie run out to the road or find a cleaning product or something. The world is not a giant playground for your child
This is what it comes down to: the world isn't a giant playground for toddlers.
It annoys me when people seem to think 'but they're only 2/3' is somehow a free pass for them allowing their children to do things or it's a free pass for them not to supervise properly.

It comes up a lot, 'they're only 2 and are so energetic they can't help but charge around a cafe... they're just a toddler, they can't help telling doggie in a stranger's dog's face whilst lunging to grab said dog's face... they're only 2, they can't help handling every product in the store...'

Yes, a 2 year old can't help being impulsive at times, because they're 2, but the parent who is theoretically responsible can help whether they supervise appropriately or not. Funnily enough, I bet those 'they can't help it' types manage to keep their child close by near busy roads, or rivers, or lakes, or other hazards.

@Issania87

Thank you, I felt that as I immediately paid for the carrot and when she wasn't happy with swapping the punnets I offered to pay for the second punnet of strawberries (which she declined and then did swap mine with the one he ate one from) I felt like there was absolutely no reason to be rude. I would have understood it if I had laughed or tried to leave without paying for the items, but I didn't, I recognised that she shouldn't lose money because my son couldn't contain himself for 30 seconds.

Yesbut if she hadn’t spotted it the child could have put chewed item back, for another customer to find and cause a shitstorm about, in a pandemic.

It’s not about the price of a carrot or some strawberries, it’s that your carelessness has the potential to cause their business major damage.

Small businesses live in terror of the moment another customer finds that chewed strawberry, tweets it and tags the business and they end up having their reputation ruined as the dirty, Covid-ridled place.

Some hysterical people on here.