AIBU to not want my bumhole to smell of Christmas.

[ChocolateCherrybomb]

Looking through the bog roll page on the Asda site.

There's this.

ASDA Shades Warm Vanilla and Sugar Cane Toilet Roll 9 Rolls

………Shades Limited Edition Warm Vanilla & Sugar Cane. Every embossed sheet is enriched with a beautiful balm and the core infused with a warm and wintery fragrance.

AIBU to not want my arsehole to smell of Christmas butter cookies.

😂😂I need some

YABVU that sounds amazing

@RainingBatsAndFrogs

And it could all get much worse when Christmas starts to smell like your bumhole.

Mulled wine simmers temptingly on the stove
Enter Child
"Mmm what's that smell?"
DH sniffs
"Don't know but it smells exactly like your mother's arse"

You've painted a lovely Christmassy scene there

Have yourself a merry little bumhole
Make your arse smell bright
By Boxing Day the itching will persist all night

Now I feel like we need to collaboratively write a limerick. I'll start:

There was a young woman from Lush,
Whose products caused terrible thrush...

Though the itching was frightful
Her bits smelt quite delightful
In fact, it made poor Santa blush.

@LockdownLil 🤣🤣🤣. You know that is stuck in my head forever now. Love it!

There was a young woman on a date,
Her foof smelled of mint candy cane.
When the man went down,
He wore a frown
And his mouth was in hell of a state.

Now I feel like we need to collaboratively write a limerick. I'll start:

There was a young woman from Lush,
Whose products caused terrible thrush
"It burns" she did cry,
And had to apply
Canesten in one hell of a rush.

I have mulled wine bleach
I ordered normal thick bleach and it was a substitute on my online shopping

Scented loo roll... no. Our manager ordered some and we gave him a graphic description of thrush he passes out at any mention of women's issues and we had normal stuff back the next day

I hope it doesn't leave an, um, aftertaste....

You'd be up to some amorous activities later with your DH, he heads downwards, next thing you know hes reconciling slapping his mouth like when you accidentally kiss somewhere with perfume residue....

@Thurmanmurman

Perfect after a Yule log!

Be very cautious buying scented loo roll, I had a massive allergic reaction to it. Took days to figure out the cause was horrific my poor bum could hardly bear underwear for weeks while it healed lol

FFS. 2nd night in a row am on laptop as unable to sleep and ended up reading something like this and waking DH up with silent laughter thats vibrating the fucking bed. He didn't even ask tonight, just eyerolled at me and went back t sleep

Jingle bells, my bumole smells
Vanilla and sugar cane
Oh what fun it is to ride
But the thrush is driving me insane

Dashing to the loo
In a one horse race of doom
Canesten to hand
I need a pessary too

Bell, the doorbell rings
It's an ASDA delivery
A substitution fest
Coconut wipes for me

Jingle bells
Canesten sells
They are sold by the same company
Oh what fun it is to ride
But the thrush won't let me be

I'm itching at the mere thought of this!
I get headaches from lots of syntheticy smells so thrush and a migraine would surely be my festive lot. Brings back awful memories of the time an ex decided to surprise me with mint lube by applying it, too... the burn!!! He was told to bin the "sex napalm" very quick.

I am now humming "jingle bells" but with the following lyrics in mind.

Jingle bells,
My bush smells,
DP ran away,

Oh how sore it is to scratch
An itchy minge all day.

😂😂😂😂 well this thread and comments made my morning. I'd rather have a Christmas print rather than a smell.

How to answer my six year old asking "Mummy what's so funny?"
Good grief, he's already in trouble at school for making bottom jokes.
I accidentally bought aloe Vera loo roll once. Ds1 hated it as "someone drawed all over it" and it made my bathroom smell very medicinal.

Have yourself a merry smelly loo roll,
Festive sheets to buy,
Careful now the perfume makes you want to cry.
So have yourself a merry thrush infection time!

Or
Jingle bums, Jingle bums,
It's Christmas time for the shitty.

Having a sniff of my crack
Reminds me I fancy a snack
All those great Christmas treats
Are such yummy eats
Thanks MN for this handy life hack

Here comes Santa Claus
Here comes Santa Claus
Right down Santa Claus Lane
I've got thrush again
I've got thrush again and it's driving me insane
The doorbell's ringing
Tesco are bringing
Vanilla and sugarcane

Here comes Santa Clause
Here comes Santa Clause
Right down Santa Clause Lane
It's not biscuits and it's not a candle
It's loo roll that's to blame
My bum's on fire
literally on fire and that's not a beautiful sight
I need a snow drift to put my flunge in
And cool my sphincter tonight

If we all use it and we get a whiff of scented arse as we walk by we can give each other a knowing look, it’ll be the new Mumsnet scarf.

Silver bells, silver bells, it's Christmas night and it's shitty
Ring a sting, feel it sting
Soon it will be time to pay

Shitty fungus, bastard fungus
Dressed in Canesten cream
In the air there's a feeling of misery
I'm not laughing but still pasting
Stuff on my flaps night and day

I'll get me coat.

Scented bumholes are nice. But what about making christmas scented sanitary products? Tampons and pantyliners are often scented with that boring lineny smell. Let's see them infused with festive pine, candy cane or mulled wine scents. Then add some glitter. Lots of glitter. I want to be still finding glitter in my pants in March.

@nevermorelenore Oh please don't go giving people any ideas. They'll be available on Etsy before you know it.

Maybe I should start shopping at Asda.
I quite fancy a Christmas Vanilla scented bumhole actually!