To think it is neglectful to let your child get overweight

[jackson14478]

If you cannot provide your child with basic nutrition, a balanced diet and enough exercise, would you say it's child neglect?

I know for a fact that low income/benefits families can feed their children a healthy diet at a similar cost to an unhealthy one. I've done it and so have friends.

Letting your child become grossly overweight through no fault of their own is not responding to their basic needs

Why would you over feed your kids so they are fat? Why would not having a massive adult plate piled high give you an eating disorder? Weird.

"Why would you over feed your kids so they are fat? Why would not having a massive adult plate piled high give you an eating disorder? Weird."

So the opposite of a "small breakfast plate" must be a "massive adult plate piled high"? There's no in between?

It absolutely is neglect. If you have a child you have to feed them a proper, nutritious diet, not over feed them so they end up overweight. Of course some children turn to comfort eating but that is also the parents fault, they should be taught better ways to manage their emotions (talking is key, especially the boys, they love to bottle things up as DH does)

I can assure you that DS is not neglected, quite the opposite, and yet...

Wow max goady.

Not read whole thread.

If it's neglect to have an overweight child then naturally they need to be removed from the neglectful parents.

That's a lot of children. And a lot of money. And children in care have such great outcomes, in general...

They’ve always eaten on small plates. It’s all they are used to. Means their portions are right for them. Their friends who eat adult portions on large plates are all fat. Sorry but they are.

Just read the last few posts.

Is it really better to remove, what, tens of thousands of children from their homes!

Or, when people say neglect. Is it just mindless hyperbole.

These threads are goady and ridiculous.

My 15 yo DS is bordering on morbidly obese and is not neglected at all. In fact I spend a good portion on the day caring for him. If you want reasons for why, try a child who can't exercise due to disability and who takes a daily high dose of steroids. He doesn't really snack or overeat but can't physically burn off what he eats.

"They’ve always eaten on small plates. It’s all they are used to. Means their portions are right for them. Their friends who eat adult portions on large plates are all fat. Sorry but they are."

Ok. Intentionally underfeeding your children to engineer their "small appetites" and thus keep them "beautifully slim" is not controlling behaviour at all. Good job.

My family are utterly nasty about overweight people. Always have been.

It's pathetic and boring.

Find a different way to feel superior

YANBU I say that as an adult who was a fat kid. It is never ok and always the parents’ fault.

Unfortunately, most parents of fat kids are massively in denial, blaming the school etc.

I’m still a fat adult, by my kids are a normal weight and have a good relationship with food.

Small plates are probably the right size tbh. Most plates are massive now. Far bigger than the ones we ate off 20/30 years ago

Why else do restraunts now fuck about with buckets and boards and fancy little dishes...cos if they put what tgey actually gave you on the plates we now have it would look tiny.

@KatnissNeverdone
I think he's an exception to the rule. It's only neglect if the parents allow their children to eat to the point they are overweight and unhealthy. You're not one of those, and i'm sure you do an amazing job.

[quote Porcupineinwaiting]@Deadringer you cant just treat children the same and expect them to be the same just because they are siblings. If your child is genuinely chubby rather than just of a different build then they are eating too many calories for them. This is true regardless of what their sibling is eating.[/quote]
I am aware of that, i have 5 children and they are all different. My point is that my chubby dd has a genuinely tiny appetite while the skinny one eats like a horse. What am i supposed to do, starve her? Now that would be neglectful. People are talking about extreme cases on here, where children are stuffed full of chips, crisps, and sweets, and yes in general fatter people eat more, but it is not always the case. It is not as simple as the op is making out. There is lots of fat bashing on mumsnet, disguised as 'concern', it is getting tiresome.

My son was always big, tall and built like a brick outhouse. Once he gave up rugby due to injury the weight started piling on. We locked things away so he couldn't eat between meals. He stole money and bought rubbish with it. It's only now in his early 30s that he's starting to lose weight.

They are not underfed 🙄. They are just not over fed. Christ no wonder there’s an obesity crises when feeding children appropriate portions and weirdos cry eating disorder 🙄🙄🙄. I eat the same my bmi is firmly in normal range. We just don’t overeat.

"They are not underfed 🙄. They are just not over fed. Christ no wonder there’s an obesity crises when feeding children appropriate portions and weirdos cry eating disorder 🙄🙄🙄. I eat the same my bmi is firmly in normal range. We just don’t overeat."

If you say so, "weirdo".

Listen to the other posters in the thread. They are not happy that their parents over fed them they had to reset themselves as adults and learn this self care to be a healthy weight which is very difficult and they are to be commended for managing to doing so.

I see it as equivalent to not taking up smoking. I teach my girls to eat well so they hopefully will continue doing so as adults without noticing. It will be normal for them. No dieting required.

@WinstonWolf
So not the fault of shielding but too big portion sizes? So bit of a cheek to call me
judgy 🙄

@Gancanny

I know for a fact that low income/benefits families can feed their children a healthy diet at a similar cost to an unhealthy one. I've done it and so have friends

I bet you had access to supermarkets, either online or in person. And I bet you had a reliable gas and electricity supply in order to cook whatever needed to be cooked and to run a frudge-freezer to store it. And I also bet you had at least some basic knowledge of what is or isn't healthy and knew a few recipes as a starting point. I also bet you were able to look up additional recipes and meal inspiration either online or via books. And I bet you had the control in your day to day life and the mental fortitude to crack on with things, get through it as best you could, and all while working towards a better future.

That's called privilege and not everyone on a low income or on benefits has the things that you had. Just because you managed, doesn't mean every can/does manage.

Perfect post

*Gancanny 👏

From MN, we can therefore deduce:

Alcoholism: Scummy! They should stop!
Smoking: Scummy! They should stop!
Drug addiction: Scummy! They should stop!
Food addiction: We can't help it!

I think it's one of the most heartbreaking things to see fat children and it is neglectful. You are giving you child a lifetime of battling their weight and health problems.

Problem is people have a shockingly poor idea of feeding children. The belief that they need special low nutrition, junk foods, - Cheerios, Coco pops, nuggets, waffles, crisps, turkey dinosaurs etc etc. Also the perception of how much children need to eat and what a normal size is is alarming. I see parents refer to children as stocky or well built - gat is what you mean. Children are supposed to be quite spindly but if you see a slight child parents say they are strip of nothing.

I do think fat children are often the product of patents with a poor understanding of childhood nutrition. You see these people scoff at feeding children veg, hummus, a risotto or salmon.

*bet you had access to supermarkets, either online or in person. And I bet you had a reliable gas and electricity supply in order to cook whatever needed to be cooked and to run a frudge-freezer to store it. And I also bet you had at least some basic knowledge of what is or isn't healthy and knew a few recipes as a starting point. I also bet you were able to look up additional recipes and meal inspiration either online or via books. And I bet you had the control in your day to day life and the mental fortitude to crack on with things, get through it as best you could, and all while working towards a better future.

That's called privilege and not everyone on a low income or on benefits has the things that you had*

That's not a majority thoughts it. Perhaps these people would have better mental health if they cooked healthier foods. It's so easy to make excuses.