To think it is neglectful to let your child get overweight

[jackson14478]

If you cannot provide your child with basic nutrition, a balanced diet and enough exercise, would you say it's child neglect?

I know for a fact that low income/benefits families can feed their children a healthy diet at a similar cost to an unhealthy one. I've done it and so have friends.

Letting your child become grossly overweight through no fault of their own is not responding to their basic needs

Charlieeee76 thanks for calling me delusional and sensitive.
I assure you I'm not delusional - it's just dumb luck you've no idea what i'm talking about.

My son had a brain tumour which leaves many children with hypothalamic obesity. I have friends with kids with this condition: they awoke from surgery with insatiable appetites and their weight gain is unrelenting. There are families who have to padlock their fridges and strictly limit food intake, but the kids are still incredibly overweight.
In public, the parents are badgered by ignorant judgmental people who shame them for allowing their kids to get so fat. It's so hurtful.
Obesity is an important health issue, but you can never know what underlying medical conditions people are suffering with.

A kg bag of nuggets costs £1.

A six pack of apples costs £2.

In many cases the issue is not the parents.

We have home cooked meals 5/6 nights out of seven and it costs far more than cheap stodge and takes a damn sight more effort. There's a reason it's more often than low-income kids whose parents are skint, single parents, working long hours or an accumulation.

Of course there are exceptions where you're completely right but not everyone has the opportunity of feeding their kids Jamie Oliver meals no matter how much they want to.

My son’s 15 months old and incredibly chubby. He broke off the top of the weight chart - ie was above the 99.6th centile - when he was 4 months old. And he was EBF until 6 months. He’s back on the 99.6th line now but is still very chubby. He’s never even had any sugar (to my knowledge).

His father is 6’5 and very slim but was apparently a very chunky child until he started shooting upwards. They’re all different. But I’ll wait for the visit from social services to take my child to the workhouse.

For three months people were only allowed out for exercise once a day, don’t you remember? And lots of people had to work while looking after their children
Yes and its very easy to find a few minutes a few times per day to jump up and down..dance to music,hop and skip and all sorts of things you can do in a tiny space with children. Its really not that difficult to fit in 30 extra minutes to encourage a child to jump around.
Also many have active video games to help entertain and get them going. P.E classes on YouTube etc.

Its really not that difficult.

Well done on successful feeding your kids on low income. Congratulations. Anyone who doesnt is a scumbag and should have their kids taken off them.

Happy?

@intheenddoesitreallymatter

A kg bag of nuggets costs £1.

A six pack of apples costs £2.

In many cases the issue is not the parents.

We have home cooked meals 5/6 nights out of seven and it costs far more than cheap stodge and takes a damn sight more effort. There's a reason it's more often than low-income kids whose parents are skint, single parents, working long hours or an accumulation.

Of course there are exceptions where you're completely right but not everyone has the opportunity of feeding their kids Jamie Oliver meals no matter how much they want to.

You can get Apples cheaper than £2 for 6 in Aldi. You also can buy frozen veg. There’s no excuse. Things like blueberries and strawberries and so on are really expensive but you can include some frozen veg and cheaper fruits in your diet.

We have home cooked meals 5/6 nights out of seven and it costs far more than cheap stodge and takes a damn sight more effort.

Absolutely - it’s often as much to do with time poverty as monetary poverty. Eating healthily is a piece of piss if you’ve got lots of time and money. It’s pretty easy if you’re short on time but have plenty of money. It’s quite easy if you’re short on money but have lots of time. But it’s very hard if you’re short on both.

I don’t understand why people struggle so much with understanding that not everyone is as fortunate as they are. Find some compassion.

What about families that have some standard weigh children and some overweight? In which category do they fall?
I think it is a concern that should be addressed by the GP. Based on general health/ habits, there could be some issues to address. But neglect sounds too strong a word to me.
At least we are talking about seriously obese/ morbidly obese no related to health issues?

@FunDragon

We have home cooked meals 5/6 nights out of seven and it costs far more than cheap stodge and takes a damn sight more effort.

Absolutely - it’s often as much to do with time poverty as monetary poverty. Eating healthily is a piece of piss if you’ve got lots of time and money. It’s pretty easy if you’re short on time but have plenty of money. It’s quite easy if you’re short on money but have lots of time. But it’s very hard if you’re short on both.

I don’t understand why people struggle so much with understanding that not everyone is as fortunate as they are. Find some compassion.

You've hit the nail on the head.

If you get home at six with two hungry kids but can throw on a bag of wholemeal pasta, cook some pre-made 100% beef meatballs, add in a bag of precut veg and stir in a no added sugar sauce then you've got a healthy meal in ten minutes.

When you get home at six with two hungry kids, you realise there's not enough money on the meter to turn on the oven and the heating then it's a completely different ball game.

But it takes the same amount of time to cut a few peppers/courgettes/most veg in half and roast them as it does to open a bag of nuggets and cook those.

Lots of quick inexpensive sources of protein too. Eggs take no time to cook whatever way you do them. Lentils soaked over night boil in 20 minutes Meats and plant based proteins take the same amount of time grilling and boiling as they do in the oven/frying pan. I dont accept the no time excuse.
No cooking involved in salads. Extremely quick and cheap to make a huge one.
Healthy eating can be very inexpensive and quick. Plenty of us do it on a tight budget and next to no time. Its possible. You're just not doing it right

When you get home at six with two hungry kids, you realise there's not enough money on the meter to turn on the oven and the heating then it's a completely different ball game
Then you are very sadly failing at providing the basic rights your child needs and is entitled to and need support and help quickly.

I come from an Asian background and slim children are often seen as too skinny. For example my dd is on the 91st percentile for height and 75th for her weight. She is taller than average and a bit heavier than average too. In reality she is slim but definitely does have a round belly. I am constantly told she needs to put on more weight by family members and the fact that my child is slim is seen as neglectful. My ds was a chubby baby again he is 91st percentile for height and 50th for weight (he was on 91st for weight until he turned 1). The fact that he was chubby and now is tall and average weight for a boy his age doesn't seem to matter and I am often told I need to feed him more. They are both often called 'skinny' when they are slim kids of an average weight. My dd does not snack between meals, a piece of fruit between breakfast and lunch and maybe some milk before lunch and dinner is all she manages. She eat three well balanced kain meals and is putting on weight, alert and happy so I am not concerned. My ds does have snacks such as fruit, crisps and chocolates between meals. As a result he eats less than his sister at main meal times. He is putting on weight and is a very active child but not fat in any way.

My nephew was a preemie and now at 6 is very overweight. He gets called 'healthy whereas my children are often labelled as fussy when they refuse snacks because they have had enough food. Sometimes culturally our view of being fat or thin us skewed. Also a lot of people view feeing people as a way of expressing their love. So by that logic if you feed them toy love them more.

Your view is very european and yabu to appreciate that other people have different views.

What is not unreasonable is that parents should display a healthy relationship with food and have food in the house and encourage their children to make healthy choices. If a child is putting on weight, cutting vack on buying sugary treats and encouraging walking etc should be something we can all try to do.

So many typos, but hopefully you can get the general gist of my post.

Jacket potatoes, omelettes, things on brown toast are cheap, quick and easy to cook, and nutritious. I have never paid £2 for 6 apples in the U.K. in my life. I have, however spent nearly £5 for a punnet of cherry tomatoes in Switzerland ( mbira standard supermarket) and several pounds for a single apple in Japan. Neither Switzerland or Japan have an obesity problem anywhere near as bad as ours, and it’s also perfectly socially acceptable there to tell someone that they are fat.

If we can’t expect people to make even the smallest effort for food - possibly the most important thing they can do for their health - do we really have such low expectations?

@Charlieeee76 Yes, Aldi is great when you have the means to get there.

If you're stuck in a food desert where options are far more limited, you have no means of travel and a taxi takes precious pounds out of the food budget then you find it's not an excuse it's reality.

Who wants to feed their kids shit? No one.

Who can afford to feed their kids well? The lucky ones.

Of course there are exceptions, there always are. But when you have a single parent with three kids to feed, clothe and house on minimum wage/minimum benefits then all of a sudden Aldi's 6 for £2 and a bag of frozen veg will quickly be replaced by a thousand calorie pizza or a £1 family ready meal for the same cost.

Children aren't satiated on fruit and veg, that's the reality.

Frozen veg has to be boiled or cooked, which is money on the heater. A pot noodle just needs a kettle boiled or at a stretch can be done with hot water from the tap. Toast is done in a couple of minutes, a full, healthy and balanced meal doesn't cost the value of the ingredients alone.

That is the reality for millions of families across the country. There is a bigger divide between rich and poor than there was at the end of WW2 and that isn't the fault of struggling parents who are drowning as they try to simply keep a roof over their kids' head.

You've hit the nail on the head.

If you get home at six with two hungry kids but can throw on a bag of wholemeal pasta, cook some pre-made 100% beef meatballs, add in a bag of precut veg and stir in a no added sugar sauce then you've got a healthy meal in ten minutes.

When you get home at six with two hungry kids, you realise there's not enough money on the meter to turn on the oven and the heating then it's a completely different ball game.

Exactly! That’s why all these boring predictable comments like ‘excuses, you can get a bag of frozen spinach in Aldi for 70p’ are so obtuse and lacking any insight. Yes, cooking on a budget is easy - but you need the time to plan, shop and cook. And conversely cooking quickly healthy meals is easy - if you have the necessary money, skills and knowledge.

Speaking personally I’ve been slim my whole life. I’ve never had money AND time, but I’ve always been lucky enough to have money OR time. And I am healthy and had parents who taught me how to cook and eat healthily. That’s called privilege. So I’m not going to pat myself smugly on the back and judge all the lazy fatties. Other people can crack on if it makes them feel good.

I had a classmate who was overweight right from a young age . Her parents and brother were all very slim, she are healthily, got lots of exercise and her mum tried her on several eating plans but she never lost weight....what exactly else could her parents do?

@Notimeforaname

When you get home at six with two hungry kids, you realise there's not enough money on the meter to turn on the oven and the heating then it's a completely different ball game Then you are very sadly failing at providing the basic rights your child needs and is entitled to and need support and help quickly.

You're completely right, but in so many cases that help and support is simply not available.

@intheenddoesitreallymatter

A kg bag of nuggets costs £1.

A six pack of apples costs £2.

In many cases the issue is not the parents.

We have home cooked meals 5/6 nights out of seven and it costs far more than cheap stodge and takes a damn sight more effort. There's a reason it's more often than low-income kids whose parents are skint, single parents, working long hours or an accumulation.

Of course there are exceptions where you're completely right but not everyone has the opportunity of feeding their kids Jamie Oliver meals no matter how much they want to.

No it doesn't. If you can't afford to buy expensive apples at 2 quid per 6-pack do what rest of us do and buy cheaper ones kilo for a about a pound. You get more in there.

And i am not even talking Aldi with that price

Children aren't satiated on fruit and veg, that's the reality

No,you definitely cannot say this for all children.

I was raised vegetarian with no crap food. We were extremely poor in the mid 80s.
I know many kids who are satisfied with fruits and vegetables. It's true that not all are..but again this is something that is taught from a young age.

I am healthy and had parents who taught me how to cook and eat healthily. That’s called privilege
That's not a privilege. It's a parents job . Their main job to keep a child healthy and teach them how to remain healthy as adults.

Maybe we should stop calling basiscs a privilege. 🤷🏻
It pushes the line of what's acceptable.

intheenddoesitreallymatter I know it's a horror and a disgrace there isn't much support for this as I know for many they suddenly fell into this way of life it was never their goal.

It's so sad there isn't more done to help struggling parents.

So many cant even see how it is possible to eat healthily on low income. My family did it. Many people are here posting about how they are doing it right now. But its generations of not being taught how to do it correctly.

Yeah if you can't access a big supermarket apples can easily cost over 2 quid.