To think it is neglectful to let your child get overweight

[jackson14478]

If you cannot provide your child with basic nutrition, a balanced diet and enough exercise, would you say it's child neglect?

I know for a fact that low income/benefits families can feed their children a healthy diet at a similar cost to an unhealthy one. I've done it and so have friends.

Letting your child become grossly overweight through no fault of their own is not responding to their basic needs

Meant to say the fads of the 70s bought in low carb Atkinson diet really unhealthy

Absolutely Golden. I looked into it when I needed to lose 2 stone and was 🙄 that the nhs advice was actually wrong. Followed Michael Mosley weight dropped off and feel great. Still eat pudding and have wine Just less of it and less frequently

I'm overweight for all sorts of reasons. It's crept on gradually and life, age and lockdown have all played a part. I developed a negative association with food at the age of 8 when my mother projected her own body image issues on to me and I struggled with bulimia for many years as a result. None of my children are overweight. They eat a normal diet. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. I'm not a zealot when it comes to food, precisely because I remember feeling ashamed of my size when I was young when, looking back, I was not remotely overweight. At 13 I was a perfectly averagely sized kid.

As pp have already said far more eloquently, the are a multitude of reasons that children tend up overweight. It is not black and white. It's sad that so many posters think it is.

@DillonPanthersTexas

However, there is never a way to discuss weight on MN, no matter how you would start a thread, because everyone is overweight due to poverty and/or medical issues. Never any other reason.

It's the constant excuses that are trotted out.

"I can't afford an expensive gym"

"you don't need to join the gym, take the kids to the local youth football club"

"I can't afford new boots and kit"

"you can pick up basic kit very cheaply at sports direct, most youth clubs have a kit swap scheme to help disadvantaged households"

"there is no club near me and I don't drive"

"contact the club, there is probably someone who lives nearby who they can out you in contact with for a lift"

"I suffer from anxiety"

"okay well you can buy a ball for five quid and have a kick around the local park"

"there are no parks near me"

"walk around the block then"

"there are no blocks near me and I live on the clifftop of an uncharted south Atlantic island"

Etc etc

Yup. But Olympics 🏅

I agree that there are lots of factors that go towards childhood obesity. Took my kids swimming today and bought them a drink from the vending machine after. They’re full of sweets, chocolate and crisps. If you can’t get healthy food at a sports centre where can you?!
However, if parents don’t take responsibility for their children’s weight then who should? I agree that some people are poorly educated on the matter but there is a plethora of resources out there to educate yourself as well as help available from health visitors, schools, etc.

@Redcups64

I have a very thin child and one slightly over weight, I’m not sure how it’s happened really, kids and food is a minefield

There was a thread with OP wondering why her housemate is slimmer yet they do exactly same and eat exactly same. If I remember correctly, housemate eat bot more. Then it transpired that housemate gets up a lot, goes for a run, fidgets a lot. That makes difference.

Bodies are different so people need slightly different portions, but it is massively affected by the figetting and standing up often etc.

I agree to a degree...
I understand medical conditions may factor in along with other things however with none of things coming in to play yes I agree.
DS12 is extremely sporty but doesn't always eat well. During lockdown without excercise he put on some extra pounds... So without pointing that out (however he mentioned himself his trousers were tight) we got him on board with keeping fit for the new season.
So he did Joe Wicks daily, went for a walk with us or a jog alone local to us daily.
He cut down on his sweets/Crisps etc and ate smaller portions.
For me it's more about him staying well, keeping healthy and being able to fight off winter bugs as he is asthmatic not just how he looks although going into his teens he is starting to be more aware of this along with hygiene but that's a whole other discussion

For those parents insisting one child out of say 3 has the same diet as the rest but gains massively, I would bet my life that they're managing to sneak the extra in somehow, hiding/procuring snacks/ food or getting it elsewhere.

Because, science.

Yes definitely the parents fault if no underlying metabolic issues etc.

Certainly when they are young. As they become older teenagers I understand it's near impossible to police what they eat.
But when kids...yes they need to be taught healthy eating and only cooked nutritious food.

I see lots of people saying their child sneaks unhealthy snacks from the kitchen...dont
have them in your house at all.
Others say they buy it themselves in shops...simply give them no money or buy directly what they need.

And if I suspected they were given money or crap to eat by friends on the way home,then it won't hurt to skip a meal.

And to the poster who said their child became overweight because they have no garden...you win the most lazy excuse award.

For those parents insisting one child out of say 3 has the same diet as the rest but gains massively, I would bet my life that they're managing to sneak the extra in somehow, hiding/procuring snacks/ food or getting it elsewhere

Not necessarily true. Dd2 was born nearly 2 pounds lighter than her sister. When she finally got onto the prescription milk after barely eating she got big quite quickly despite drinking less than the recommended quantity on the back of the formula box. She wore most her food til 2 years old. Didnt even eat proper meals til 8/9 months . She would try the odd item bit was still only really consuming the formula to any degree . Again less than or equal to the directions not more than . There was certainly nothing she was sneakingbesides pet food

She had a massive stomach at 2. And her thighs...

She really is built differently to her sister shes not overweight now but is fed the same as her sister was at her age. Still is when she's home. She is still bigger/taller than her sister at the same age....

Of course its the parents fault if no underlying medical issues. Db and I are both fairly slim as we were raised in a cook from scratch active household most of the time - in my late teens they became fairly neglectful but I was old enough to sort myself out by then. Dh and SIL were raised in an inactive no sports and packed food household where MIL thinks battered fish is healthy and a chocolate mousse is the same as a yoghurt. Dh is very overweight and struggles with understanding basic nutrition because its just so foreign to him. I had to explain that a tesco 'hearty" good chicken burger was just tesco value still and no i wouldn't be feeding it to our 2 year old. MiL claims he was always overweight and I can see why. She thinks nothing of feeding our 26 month old a whole pack of quavers and 2 chocolate mousses an hour before dinner. This and safety concerns is why DD now attends nursery rather than going to them 2 days a week. I tried to politely explain the impact on her health and behaviour (a 2 year old hopped up on sugar at 4pm is no fun) but there is no insight or willingness to change. MiL talks about her healthy diet but in reality she eats very little which keeps her slim. SIL is the same and has a host of health issues. She is virtually immobile now. Its so sad.

@nanbread

I'm not trying to make excuses, I agree some people just can't be arsed to cook healthy food or say no to their kids, but do you really think millions of parents WANT their kids to be overweight? Most probably have a warped sense of portion sizes and healthy food and aren't purposefully damaging their kids. I'm not sure that counts as neglect.

If it was as easy as giving them some lentils and oats I think that would be part of a national programme...

Our local hospital supplied printed booklets with simple healthy recipes that could be made cheaply with few ingredients. It included foods like lentil and vegetable soup and apple crumble made with oats.

" The article said that most women would rather be called a 'horrible bitch' than 'fat'!"

So what does that tell you about how we view fat people?

Glad to see others confirm removing children who are neglected is the correct thing to to.

There are a lot so I suggest setting up some kind of community homes where the fat children of the poor can be re-educated to counteract the neglectful attitudes to food they will have been instilled with. They could live on a cost effective nutritious soup and maybe do some kind of manual labour to thin them down and offset the costs.

Neglect is neglect and I see no reason that people would begrudge paying their tax money to help in this way nor why they would want to doom these children by leaving them with such awful parents (lazy etc).

Being horrible bitch won't get me a diabetes in my 30s or cause issues around cremation👀 I too would prefer (to be just) that...

You'd prefer to be a horrible bitch than overweight?

Sure because children brought up by spiteful parents who enjoy upsetting everyone around then and bringing them down will make for happy stable balanced children who definitely won't use food or alcohol or drugs when they get older

Which just goes to show that for many posters this is nothing to do with children and everything to do with slagging others off to prop up their own egos...

Which isn't the sign of a particularly well balanced or happy person tbh.

I was joking👀 It was a joke about my weight...

@NiceGerbil

But what will you do if a boy asks for More?

"But what will you do if a boy asks for More?"

MORE?????

Oh sorry Schroedinger.

Hard to tell on this thread and I haven't read all the posts since last night!

Well wanting More is a sign they are morally lacking.

I'm sure there was a good educational book written about this years ago, now what was it called...

Which just goes to show that for many posters this is nothing to do with children and everything to do with slagging others off to prop up their own egos

Not for me. This is the parents fault and it has everything to do with the children.
If a child presented as skinny and under fed there would be grounds for neglect and somebody would step in,usually.

It its equally detrimental to a child to be over fed/fed the wrong foods, it just takes longer for the full effects to be seen.

Most overweight children are indeed malnourished.

It's also setting them up for an unhealthy adult life.

Any parent who lets this happen is to blame and is a negligent parent.

It's the parents job to make sure their children are within the realms of normality in regards to health. Mentally,emotionally and physically.

If your child is overweight you are doing something wrong and it's your job to fix it and find appropriate support.

And to the poster who said their child became overweight because they have no garden...you win the most lazy excuse award.

Aren’t you misquoting that poster - didn’t s/he specifically say it was because of spending lockdown in a flat with no garden, not just because they don’t have a garden? For three months people were only allowed out for exercise once a day, don’t you remember? And lots of people had to work while looking after their children. I find it very easy to believe that children living in small properties without gardens gained weight during that time. One of the many problems with the lockdown.

So I think it’s pretty fucking rude to call that the ‘laziest excuse’.