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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If I went & shot the woman across the road

62 replies

KathH · 12/10/2007 19:25

Sorry this is long. Dh went to fetch ds1 from school & for about 10 mins dd2 aged 10 who goes to high school and dd1 who's 14 were in the house on their own. A woman across the road came hammering on our front door and dd2 answered it. She came to complain that while her front door was open our cat had widdled in her crash helmet. She grabbed dd2 and stuck her head in the crash helmet to smell it. DD1 was giving her a mouthful while this was going on. She told dd2 that she was going to get a gun & shoot our cat or drown him in the canal. DD2 started screaming at this point so one of our neighbours came round & took her into her house while she calmed down. I'm fuming - I appreciate it's not nice for her but surely if she's got a problem with my cat she should speak in a civilised manner to me or dh. DH has reported her to housing association but I'm very tempted to go across the road & deck her for terrorising dd2 (I know this isnt very helpful)

OP posts:
IntergalacticWarlock · 12/10/2007 20:04

Ring them now Kath

LoRayningNewtsAndFrogs · 12/10/2007 20:04

Thats horrid, I know some people would actually stoop to that
Please call the police so that if anything did happen to your cat you would know you ahd done everything to stop it.

Piffle · 12/10/2007 20:04

oh yeah def time for the police

Lazarou · 12/10/2007 20:14

You need to report this loony to the police right now, she has assaulted your child.

Tinker · 12/10/2007 20:15

Are you in the UK? Who talks freely of guns like this?

Original poster
KathH · 12/10/2007 20:22

Yes Tinker - we're in Leicester. Tbh we've known for a little while that this woman has issues - everyone in our street has had a run in her with her at one time or another. She lost her other half a few years ago and told all the kids that he'd come back reincarnated as her cats and that she let them make love to her every night. We didnt really want to make trouble for her so kind of left it. Also I feel that what she would do to my cat is not the main issue here it's what she did to dd2. If she'd just come over & spoken to me or dh we'd have been sympathetic & offered to replace helmet even though we find it difficult to believe she could know for definate it was our cat. We love our cat but we know he can be a pain in the arse. DD2 went out to play tonight with her friend & this woman has continued to shout at her without mentioing a thing to me or dh.

OP posts:
Lazarou · 12/10/2007 20:24

Sounds like she is having some sort of breakdown, but you still must report her

pneumalifenewname · 12/10/2007 20:26

She has a point but she should have addressed the issue with an adult. The idea of deckin gher kind of counts you out there then Is there someone at home who can deal with this maturely?

ninedragons · 13/10/2007 03:16

She's clearly as mad as a spoon but you need to call the cops right now. She's assaulted your child and mentioned guns. The police can have a chat with her and see if she needs to be sectioned or just warned sternly to back the f**k off.

SofiaAmes · 13/10/2007 04:53

Yes, I agree....cat issue is irrelevant. The woman assaulted your child and is clearly disturbed. You must make a report to the police. Unfortunately there is not much they can do at this stage, but if the problems continue, you will need a documented trail of complaints in order to give them the ammunition/authority to ultimately do something. You must make an official complaint and get a crime report number.

SofiaAmes · 13/10/2007 04:55

And please don't go across the street and deck her, or even interact with her in any way. She sounds unstable and could do something foolish. And it will give you less ability to convince the police that you are entirely the victim and they need to do something.

ninedragons · 13/10/2007 05:07

I also really don't like the idea that she talks about sex to the neighbourhood children, even in a way that is so obviously mad. Creepy creepy creepy.

Sounds to me like she's skating into ASBO territory.

Budababe · 13/10/2007 05:11

Well I am not a cat lover and currently have "ishoos" with cats crapping in my garden so am even more anti cats than normal. And I have a very short fuse. However even if something similar had happened to me and I had gone to your house to complain and maybe rant a bit, if a child answered the door it would take the wind out of my sails. May make it worse for you later when I eventually get to speak to you - or it may not! Point is you don't terrorise children.

She is way out of order and I would definitely involve the police.

SofiaAmes · 13/10/2007 05:33

Sounds more like someone who needs sectioning than someone who needs an asbo.

mindalina · 13/10/2007 07:03

Woman is mental, report to police, social services etc. Who tells children they let the cat make love to them ebcause it's the reincarnation of their late husband? Bizarre behaviour, you must report her in case she does something even weirder.

Hanfi · 13/10/2007 07:33

She is probably known to Social services or mental health, but you should inform them that she is violent and threatening and they will probably have to assess her. Don't confront her it may give you some satisfaction but is only likely to up the anti, equaly ask kids to stay well away and not answer door to her. She sounds very unwell.

SharpMolarBear · 13/10/2007 08:28

That was assault. Report her to the police. Your poor DD, is she OK?

edam · 13/10/2007 08:39

Hope you've reported her for assault by now. Suspect from your account of the background the woman is not exactly sane.

Don't believe her story, either. I've had cats all my life and never heard of one peeing in a cycle helmet, FFS!

PSCMUM · 13/10/2007 08:41

I'd report her to the police aswell. She sounds bang out of order and you need to nip this behaviour in the bud. Yes its really annoying when cats piss in helmets, but that does not make it ok to shout at children. what a total nutter. I would, seriously, call the police.

FrannyandZooey · 13/10/2007 08:49

She is clearly not well. I think you should probably inform someone (police as a starting point? But sounds like mental health services need to be involved?) I would try and have sympathy rather than anger for her behaviour, as I think she must have mental problems, but her behaviour is threatening, frightening and the talking about sex to children bit also worryingly inappropriate so I think it is time to seek help on her behalf.

Original poster
KathH · 13/10/2007 08:58

Thanks for your all your replies - dh is at the police station now. Housing officer has also rang us & said she is going to go and see her on Monday & yes, I can see that decking her wouldnt have been really helpful but last night all I could think was how dare you terrify my daughter.

OP posts:
justaboutmurdering · 13/10/2007 09:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lucyellensmum · 13/10/2007 09:24

KathH - you have been really restrained and "grown up" about this. Yes, like you i would have wanted to cave the bitches head in for scaring my children HOW DARE SHE. Hopefully the police will have a word with her and it will blow over. I wonder if you shouldnt try and get some legal advice here about stopping her going near your children in future, an injunction maybe. There are often free legal clinics that can offer advice etc, starting point would be citizens advice, or ask the police what to do. I guess the key is not to antagonise this woman further as at the end of the day you just want a peaceful life (and then in about ten months time you can put sugar in her petrol tank ) She does sound a bit unstable. I would be tempted to go to the local bootfair and buy her a hat stand for her crash helmet, maybe if she were more tidy and didnt leave it on the floor??? Nasty woman.

BUT you are taking totally the right action and i applaude your maturity and calmness i really do.

lucyellensmum · 13/10/2007 09:30

oh dear, ive just read more of this thread, blimey, if it wasnt for the crash helmet i would worry that you were talking about my mother, i have a thread about it running just now. Funnily enough she has got much worse since my dad died two years ago.

You do have to feel sorry for her i guess, but it isnt your problem, your responsibility is to your children. I just wonder if a good approach might be you swallowing a huge amount of pride and humouring in the woman. CAlmly aplologise to her about the cat and tell her you will do your best to ensure he doesnt do it again, but at the same time make it really clear that she has upset your children and you wont put up with that. I know this seems a bit of a big ask, but knowing how my mother can be, it might be the quickest step towards an easy life. She needs help, but you are not the ones to help her - it might be worth flagging things up to social services or something as they may well be aware she has issues, it sounds like she could do with some counselling or something.

theresmoretolifethanmotherhood · 13/10/2007 09:45

I think you have done the right thing to go to the police. What kind of a woman treats children like that? Persue it all the way!
Make sure the housing association take it seriously. Tell them you are scared in your own home etc etc.
Just out of interest, where was the crash helmet that the cat supposedly peed in?