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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with DH for forcing me to isolate?

107 replies

Dazzband · 15/10/2020 05:44

DH has athsma, he had run out if his usual inhaler and his chest was tight, painful and he had a chesty cough (this happens a lot, what with weather change and no inhaler). he called docs and she told him she cant give him antibiotics untill he has a covid test as he may have covid. That was fine, but then he told me that i would need to isolate with him and get a test too. i completely disagreed with this as neither of us had symptoms but he shouted at me and said i was being careless. So we have both been tested and are now isolating untill the results come back.
im fuming because ive had to take time off work last minute, kept kids off nursery and school. Hes using this time to do nothing but lay about all day and more or less left me and kids to it. i guess im just pissed off because i know the test is going to be negetive and we are all sat indoors for no reason.

OP posts:
Copperblack · 15/10/2020 05:54

It’s annoying but it’s a regular part of life for many families now. We’ve had to isolate as a family waiting for test results 7 times now. I think everyone is finding like so stressful it can be hard to pull together rather than fall out. Hope the test is negative x

LancesGold · 15/10/2020 05:55

I’m fairly sure that the rules are that all house members should self isolate until test results come back? I had to have a Covid test last week and had my young twins self isolate with me until all our results came back.

It’s a pain in the arse but your DH is right. Hope your results come back soon ( and negative obviously)

MakeItRain · 15/10/2020 06:02

Well technically he's right. But given that he didn't make sure he had a new inhaler and knowing that without one he would get a cough, (which would mean you all needed to isolate) this would really annoy me too. He's an adult and should be able to manage his own medication. I think you have good reason to be annoyed.

Dorkuss · 15/10/2020 06:04

I don't think you can test without any symptoms?

Florencex · 15/10/2020 06:06

I have put YABU as you don’t have to do what your husband says.

Neither of you needed to get a test, you have just wasted two tests. Even if he needed to get a test (and it doesn’t sound like he did), it clearly states numerous times during the ordering process that tests should only be ordered for people with symptoms, so why did you order a test for yourself?

VainAbigail · 15/10/2020 06:07

So you had a Covid test without symptoms?

Florencex · 15/10/2020 06:10

@LancesGold

I’m fairly sure that the rules are that all house members should self isolate until test results come back? I had to have a Covid test last week and had my young twins self isolate with me until all our results came back.

It’s a pain in the arse but your DH is right. Hope your results come back soon ( and negative obviously)

Yes if one person has symptoms then the household needs to isolate. But OPs husband did not have symptoms, his asthma inhaler had run out. Confused
Lolaloveslemonade · 15/10/2020 06:10

Dork
Dr told him to get tested.

OP. Tell your lazy arse DH to get off his backside.
If you can’t do that for whatever reason, force him to take responsibility. Go to bed yourself and read a book.

Lolaloveslemonade · 15/10/2020 06:12

I hate all the threads about fucking horrible lazy DHs at the moment. Who do they think they are?

Original poster
Dazzband · 15/10/2020 06:14

Yes exactly the point I made to him and why I am pissed off neither of us have symptoms yet we went to get tested. DH was following his Doctor's orders. But I had no symptoms. So this is my point taking a test and isolating seems so pointless and I'm angry that he basically shouted at me because I had initially refused then I gave in. If I hadn't of listened to him I could have gone to work and kids could have gone to nursery and school.

OP posts:
Friendsoftheearth · 15/10/2020 06:17

He has a cough, so as far as I can from the list: he has a symptom. It might be that you think it is an asthma cough, but you don't know for sure, and neither does the dr.

MakeItRain · 15/10/2020 06:21

I think you have every reason to be annoyed but you have no choice but to isolate. Because there is a chance his cough could be due to covid if it's a new one. I know it's almost certain to be due to him not ensuring he has an inhaler, but you could never be 100% sure so you have to isolate until his test result is back (you didn't need a test because you have no symptoms). Tell him to sort his medication out. It's not on that his laziness means you have to miss work and self isolate.

seayork2020 · 15/10/2020 06:22

He is not forcing you and if you are following the guidelines then someone shouting at me would be told to stop being so ridiculous, if the guidelines say you all need to isolate then do what they say.

Of course a male shouting out a female is wrong, but if you shouted at him they would be perfectly acceptable it seems (although I disagree, and presuming you are female)

MoreToExplore · 15/10/2020 06:24

He had a cough which means he had to get a test and you all had to isolate until he gets the negative result back. We’ve had 2 isolation periods here, it’s really annoying but that’s just covid for you.

Him being lazy and/or forcing you to get a test without symptoms are separate issues.

WhoWants2Know · 15/10/2020 06:25

If he has asthma and gets a cough as a result of not refilling his inhaler, and it's something that happens frequently then I wouldn't necessarily view it as a "new" cough.

I have asthma and I have prolonged coughing fits on a daily basis. If I tested for that, I would have to order a test every day.

Frannibananni · 15/10/2020 06:29

It’s not unreasonable to be annoyed at having to isolate because he can’t get his shit together and not keep a spare inhaler. It takes a lot of juggling to take time off.

MimiDaisy11 · 15/10/2020 06:29

I'm confused why you were tested. It's a waste of a test. You should have refused to waste one. It's frustrating that you have to self-isolate but if the doctor says he might have covid and needs to be tested then that's what you have to do.

Cheesybiscuits01 · 15/10/2020 06:32

He was irresponsible letting his inhaler run out. Once he had a cough your whole household has to isolate and only he should have been tested. I get it's annoying but those are the rules and the less people follow them the longer this goes on. With all the loss of life, damage to the economy and our lost vulnerable people. The rules aren't difficult and actually your attitude makes me really angry.

MessAllOver · 15/10/2020 06:34

Tell him you think you have Covid and are feeling unwell. Take yourself off to bed moaning and let him deal with the kids.

Dee1975 · 15/10/2020 06:35

I understand why the go asked for him to get a test - because he had a cough - and it’s right that the whole house SI. But why did you get a test? As you say you had no symptoms? You shouldn’t have tested. That’s a waste of a test.

TingTastic · 15/10/2020 06:36

@MakeItRain

I think you have every reason to be annoyed but you have no choice but to isolate. Because there is a chance his cough could be due to covid if it's a new one. I know it's almost certain to be due to him not ensuring he has an inhaler, but you could never be 100% sure so you have to isolate until his test result is back (you didn't need a test because you have no symptoms). Tell him to sort his medication out. It's not on that his laziness means you have to miss work and self isolate.
Exactly this
FippertyGibbett · 15/10/2020 06:39

I wouldn’t have isolated, and he is a fool to run out of medication for a life long medical condition at his age.
I hope the GP hasn’t made him wait for his inhalers until after the test result ?

trotesio · 15/10/2020 06:40

You should not have had a test because you do not have symptoms.

Why is it so hard for people to understand the guidance?!

I get tonsillitis. In June I had a sore throat and a fever (below 37.8). Was convinced it was a tonsillitis as nothing felt different, but I took a test because that's the responsible thing to do.

Guess what... I was positive.

You do not 'know' it is just asthma, and your attitude towards isolation is incredibly selfish.

I hope you get negative results.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 15/10/2020 06:40

I don’t know why people are saying he didn’t have a symptom he had a cough so needed to get tested. The OP had no symptoms so shouldn’t have got tested but the household did need to isolate until his test came back.
I know it’s frustrating but he was correct

Itsabeautifuldayheyhey · 15/10/2020 06:45

YABU for saying he has forced you to isolate. He may have asked or even told you to comply with the govt rule but you decided to comply.